Child-to-parent violence (CPV) refers to behaviors in which a child inflicts physical, psychological, or economic harm on a parent. Although the definition, measurement, and classification of this form of violence vary across the literature, recent systematic reviews emphasize its growing clinical and forensic significance (Simmons et al., 2018; Ibabe, 2020).
Recent reviews suggest that CPV is rarely a simple case of “adolescent rebellion.” Instead, it reflects a complex interplay of disrupted attachment, trauma, difficulties in emotion regulation, and weakened family system boundaries (Rogers & Ashworth, 2024).
Dynamic Perspective: An Attack on Authority or a Cry to Hold Onto the Object?
From a psychoanalytic (psychodynamic) perspective, CPV is not merely an attack on authority but often a behavioral expression of ambivalence—the coexistence of need and anger.
Within the child’s internal world, the parent may simultaneously represent both a source of survival and a source of pain. The child may unconsciously harbor a desire for retaliation. This inherent ambivalence, especially when combined with the adolescent struggle for autonomy, can transform the relationship into a power struggle.
From a mentalization perspective, CPV may emerge when both parent and child lose the ability to perceive each other as intentional beings under stress. Misinterpretations of intentions increase, perceptions of threat escalate rapidly, and violence intensifies.
Systematic reviews indicate that mentalization-based family approaches show promising outcomes in child and family contexts (Byrne et al., 2020; Volkert, 2022).
Schema Therapy: Schemas and Mode Conflicts
Schema Therapy conceptualizes CPV as a conflict between maladaptive modes.
Common schemas activated in the child include:
- Abandonment / Emotional Deprivation: “No one truly holds me.”
- Mistrust / Abuse: “I will be hurt sooner or later.”
- Entitlement / Insufficient Self-Control: Difficulty internalizing limits and acting impulsively (Bach et al., 2018).
At the mode level:
- The child often activates the Angry Child mode (anger rooted in emotional pain) and the Impulsive Child mode (immediate emotional discharge).
- The parent may activate the Punitive Parent or Demanding Parent mode.
This mutual activation creates a trigger–reaction cycle within the household:
- the more rigid the parent becomes, the more the child escalates;
- the more the child escalates, the harsher the parent responds.
Research Findings: The Role of Childhood Trauma
Findings from Simmons et al. (2018) highlight that exposure to family violence is a strong contextual factor associated with CPV. Ibabe’s (2020) systematic review indicates that, despite differences in terminology and measurement, CPV is consistently associated with family functioning, inconsistency in discipline, and various psychosocial risk factors.
More recent studies have approached CPV within the framework of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), demonstrating that cumulative childhood trauma may contribute to the development of aggressive behavioral patterns (Navas-Martínez et al., 2023).
Clinically, these findings remind us that behind the label of a “violent child,” there is often the language of unresolved trauma.
Perhaps, at times, the child is attempting—consciously or unconsciously—to reclaim power over earlier experiences of violence within the family.
Intervention: Treating Not Only the Child, but the Cycle
Approaches that focus solely on the child are often insufficient in CPV cases. Systemic and family-level interventions have been shown to be more effective (Rogers & Ashworth, 2024).
From a psychodynamic perspective, the therapeutic aim is to help parents establish authority through consistency rather than fear, while helping the child symbolize and express the underlying emotional pain driving aggressive behavior.
From a schema therapy perspective, the primary goals include:
- making maladaptive schemas visible;
- teaching healthy transitions between modes;
- reconstructing safe emotional boundaries within the family system.
Mentalization-based approaches aim to slow rapid threat interpretations during moments of conflict and restore each family member’s capacity to perceive the other as a thinking, feeling individual. This process may become a critical turning point in breaking the cycle of child-to-parent violence (Byrne et al., 2020; Volkert, 2022).
Child-to-parent violence may appear to be an expression of power…
But clinically, it is often the storm of an inner child saying:
“Hold me… but do not hurt me.”
References
Bach, B., Lockwood, G., & Young, J. E. (2018). A new look at the schema therapy model. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, 47(4), 328–349.
Byrne, G., et al. (2020). Mentalization-based treatments with children and families: A systematic review.
Ibabe, I. (2020). A systematic review of youth-to-parent aggression.
Navas-Martínez, M. J., et al. (2023). Relationship between child-to-parent violence and cumulative ACEs.
Rogers, M. M., & Ashworth, M. (2024). Child-to-parent violence and abuse: A scoping review.
Simmons, M., McEwan, T. E., Purcell, R., & Ogloff, J. R. P. (2018). Sixty years of child-to-parent abuse research. Aggression and Violent Behavior, 38, 31–52.
Volkert, J. (2022). Introduction to mentalization-based approaches for psychotherapy.