Why Does Our Mind Keep Chasing Questions That Have No Answers?
“Why did they behave like that?”, “Did I make the right decision?”, “Why didn’t they reply to my message?”, “What if something bad happened?” These questions can occupy our minds for a long time in daily life. Often we describe this as “thinking too much” or, as is commonly said today, “overthinking.” However, constant thinking can stem not only from an overthinking tendency but also from an intolerance of uncertainty.
Unpredictability of future events while uncertainty is unsettling for most people; some individuals may perceive it as more threatening. These individuals may dwell more on negative outcomes that have not yet occurred and try to control the future (Carleton, 2016).
Why Is Uncertainty So Unsettling?
The human mind attempts to make sense of the world around it and predict the future. This ability is highly functional for survival. For example, thinking about an upcoming exam can help us study. However, when uncertainty becomes unmanageable, the same thought process can shift from problem-solving to a perpetual mental cycle.
A person with a high intolerance for uncertainty may find it difficult to accept the answer, “I don’t know yet.” Instead, they may begin to generate different scenarios: “What if this happens?” “What if this occurs?” Each of these questions can provide a temporary sense of control. However, when no answer is found, the mind may continue to generate new questions.
Therefore, constantly thinking isn’t always a search for a solution. Sometimes, thinking can be an attempt to lessen the discomfort a person feels in the face of uncertainty.
Overthinking and Problem-Solving Are Not The Same Thing
Not every thought process is “overthinking.” There is an important difference between repetitive thinking and problem-solving.
Problem-solving involves evaluating options, gathering information about a specific problem, and, where possible, developing an action plan. However, in anxiety-driven and repetitive thinking, a person may often continue to revolve around the same problem. Instead of generating a new solution, they may repeat the same thought in different forms.
For example, someone thinking, “How can I better prepare for tomorrow’s presentation?” might be trying to solve a problem. In contrast, if someone spends hours thinking, “What if everyone thinks I failed?”, “What if it goes badly?”, or “What if I make a mistake?”, this indicates they are trying to eliminate uncertainty.
Uncertainty and Constant Overthinking in Relationships
Intolerance of uncertainty can become evident in interpersonal relationships. A delayed response to a message, uncertainty about the future of a relationship, or a change in someone’s behavior can trigger an intense mental process.
Because there are no definitive answers to questions like, “Is she/he angry with me?”, “Is she/he distancing herself/himself?”, “Why isn’t she/he acting like before?”, a person may begin to generate different explanations in their own mind. Social media can reinforce this process. Online statuses, seen statuses, posts, or changes in followers can constantly offer a person new opportunities for interpretation.
However, not every explanation the mind produces reflects reality. The thoughts we form to explain an uncertain situation often only create possibilities.
Trying to Eliminate Uncertainty
A key characteristic of uncertainty intolerance is the individual’s effort to minimize uncertainty as much as possible. Examples include repeatedly asking others about the same topic, constantly checking messages, mentally visualizing all possible future scenarios, or researching online.
While these behaviors may provide short-term relief, repeatedly checking to ease the situation can lead to a learned mindset: “Uncertainty is dangerous, and I need to eliminate it.” Thus, as the checking behavior continues, developing tolerance for uncertainty becomes more difficult.
The main goal at this point is not to find the answer to every question but to be able to accept that some questions may remain unanswered for a while.
Can Tolerance for Uncertainty be Developed?
Tolerance for uncertainty is not a fixed trait. A person can develop tolerance by recognizing the discomfort they experience in the face of uncertainty and learning to move forward with their life despite this discomfort.
One of the first steps is to ask ourselves, “Is there any concrete evidence to support this idea?” Secondly, it can be helpful to distinguish between things we can and cannot control. For example, we cannot control when another person sends a message; however, we can easily control how we spend our own day.
However, it’s also important to learn to cope with uncertainty temporarily rather than immediately eliminating it. Because the goal is never to feel anxiety, but to remain functional even when uncertainty exists.
Conclusion
Sometimes the reason our minds keep thinking isn’t because we haven’t found the answer, but because we find it difficult to accept the lack of an answer. Uncertainty is an inevitable part of life. It’s impossible for us to know everything about our relationships, our future, our careers, or all our decisions in advance.
Therefore, instead of viewing every thought as a problem to be solved, it can be more psychologically functional to accept that some questions may remain unanswered for a while.
I think the question we should be asking ourselves isn’t “How can I find out for sure?” but rather “Can I continue with my life without knowing this right now?”
Because mental peace can only begin when we accept that we don’t yet have the answer to every uncertainty.
Kaynakça
- Carleton, RN (2016). Into the unknown: A review and synthesis of contemporary models involving uncertainty Journal of Anxiety Disorder, 39, 30–43. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.janxdis.2016.02.007
- Dugas, M. J., Gosselin, P., & Ladouceur, R. (2001). Intolerance of uncertainty and worry: Investigating specificity in a nonclinical sample. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 25 (5), 551–558. https://doi.org/10.1023/A:1005553414688
- Freeston, M.H., Rhéaume, J., Letarte, H., Dugas, M.J., & Ladouceur, R. (1994). Why do people worry? Personality and Individual Differences, 17 (6), 791–802. https://doi.org/10.1016/0191-8869(94)90048-5