In their efforts to provide the most appropriate guidance and the best possible future for their children, many parents tend to become overly protective and controlling at times. One of the parenting styles prevalent in today’s world, known as “helicopter parenting”, is characterized by parents exerting excessive control over their children’s lives. Helicopter parents, much like a helicopter hovering constantly, tend to intervene in nearly every moment of their child’s life, attempting to shield them from any potential danger (Cook Counseling & Consulting, n.d.)
However, such behavior can negatively impact the child’s individual development, as these parents often struggle to view their children as independent individuals. This attitude is also reflected in their everyday language. For example, when speaking with others, they may use plural expressions like “We started school today” or “We got our report card today,” choosing to speak on behalf of their child.
Characteristics of Helicopter Parents
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These parents adopt an overly controlling and perfectionistic attitude in caring for their child and expect high achievement from them.
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They believe that only they are capable of making the best decisions regarding their child’s life.
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They do not allow the child to perform tasks they are capable of; instead, they tend to take on these responsibilities themselves.
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They experience unnecessary anxiety due to fears of being inadequate in caring for their child.
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They continuously fill the child’s free time with activities, preventing them from experiencing boredom and may even attempt to complete their homework for them.
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They respond to problems at school with exaggerated reactions, often complaining in ways that disturb teachers and other parents and try to resolve issues on behalf of the child.
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They intervene in the child’s interactions with others.
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They panic when they cannot reach the child, even for a short period of time.
Effects of Helicopter Parenting on Children
Children who are constantly under parental supervision tend to be negatively affected in terms of self-confidence (özgüven) development, often struggling to trust their own individual abilities (Soenens & Vansteenkiste, 2010). Since these children are not given opportunities to solve problems independently, the development of their problem-solving skills is hindered. This consequently weakens their capacity for autonomous action and decision-making. Moreover, children of helicopter parents may experience shyness in peer relationships and show a decline in social skills. Continuous monitoring and high expectations also lead to increased anxiety and stress levels in these children. Such factors adversely affect the child’s psychosocial development, negatively impacting their process of becoming a healthy individual.
Furthermore, when basic needs and skills such as eating, sleeping, toileting, and completing homework are consistently managed by parents during childhood, the child fails to adequately develop self-care abilities. Individuals raised in this manner may tend to choose partners in adulthood who resemble their mother or father and can meet their own needs (Gökkuşağı Koleji, 2023). Additionally, research suggests that psychological disorders such as depression, dependent personality traits, and narcissistic tendencies are more frequently observed among adults with helicopter parents (Kouros et al., 2020; Otway & Vignoles, 2006).
Some observed effects during childhood are as follows:
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These children tend to be quieter compared to their peers.
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They experience difficulties in communicating with their peers.
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They avoid taking responsibility and usually consult their parents regarding tasks.
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They may show reluctance to participate in games or social activities with friends.
How Can You Become a Supportive Parent That Prioritizes Healthy Boundaries?
Choose guidance over intervention.
Instead of immediately solving your child’s problems, try asking them what solutions they can come up with. The question, “What can you do to solve this?” helps develop their thinking skills.
Accept their mistakes and failures.
Rather than expecting your child to always be perfect or do everything correctly, acknowledge that mistakes and failures are part of their growth. Learning begins with making mistakes. So, you should allow them to make mistakes.
Manage your anxieties.
As a parent, your past experiences or fears about the future might make you want to control your child’s life. Ask yourself: “Is this decision really what my child needs or is it my own anxiety driving me to act this way?”
Give responsibilities.
Assign age-appropriate responsibilities to your child. This supports their development of independence and contributes to forming their individual identity. It also helps build their self-confidence.
Emotional connection is not control.
Building a strong bond with your child also means respecting their individuality. The foundation of a healthy relationship is accepting that your child has their own choices and boundaries.
In conclusion, these attitudes support parenting that is caring yet aware of boundaries, allowing your children to become individuals while being there to guide them when they need support.
REFERENCE
Bannayeva, A., & Sarandöl, A. (2025). Helikopter ebeveynlik: Bir gözden geçirme [Helicopter parenting: A review]. Psikiyatride Güncel Yaklaşımlar / Current Approaches in Psychiatry, 17(2), 272–282. https://doi.org/10.18863/pgy.1484671
Cook Counseling & Consulting. (t.y.). Understanding the characteristics of helicopter parents. Cook Counseling & Consulting. https://cookcounselingandconsulting.com/understanding-the-characteristics-of-helicopter-parents/
Gökkuşağı Koleji. (2023, 27 Nisan). Helikopter ebeveynlik ve çocuk gelişimine etkileri. https://gokkusagi.k12.tr/helikopter-ebeveynlik-ve-cocuk-gelisimine-etkileri
HiDoctor. (2024, 27 Ocak). Helikopter ebeveynlik nedir, nasıl olur? Özellikleri nelerdir? https://hidoctor.health/blog/helikopter-ebeveynlik/
Kouros, C. D., Pruitt, M. M., Ekas, N. V., & Kiriaki, R. (2020). Helicopter parenting, self-esteem, and depressive symptoms in college students: The role of parental autonomy support. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 29(3), 806–816. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-019-01570-1
Otway, L. J., & Vignoles, V. L. (2006). Narcissism and childhood recollections: A quantitative test of psychoanalytic predictions. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 32(1), 104–116. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167205279907
Segrin, C., & Flora, J. (2019). Family communication. Routledge.
Schiffrin, H. H., Liss, M., Miles-McLean, H., Geary, K. A., Erchull, M. J., & Tashner, T. (2014). Helping or hovering? The effects of helicopter parenting on college students’ well-being. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 23(3), 548–557.
Soenens, B., & Vansteenkiste, M. (2010). A theoretical upgrade of the concept of parental psychological control: Proposing new insights on the basis of self-determination theory. Developmental Review, 30(1), 74–99. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.dr.2009.11.001