Fairy tales that start with “Once upon a time…” are not just a means of discovering new worlds for children, these stories show them who they are, who they should be and who they can be. Classic fairy tales are passed down from generation to generation, and the information in them shapes the child’s understanding of selfhood, gender perception, and moral values.
Fairy tales reflect the culture but also teach children how to see themselves and the opposite sex.
Fairy tales appeal to children’s subconscious, fears, imagination, and emotional development. Children who are trying to find themselves establish relationships with the characters in fairy tales, learn complex concepts such as good and bad, strong and weak, in a safe space, and process them (Koutsompou, 2016) (Knox-Johnson, 2016). Thanks to this process, the child’s sense of empathy, endurance, and moral development increases. The journey of a hero read in a fairy tale through a dark forest may represent the inner search for identity that the child subconsciously pursues (Knox-Johnson, 2016).
Another important aspect of fairy tales is that they can instill hope in children (and adults). When children read fairy tales, they learn the power of courage, of not giving up.
Fairy tales are also used as psychoeducational and therapeutic tools for children. Children may have difficulty expressing feelings or events such as trauma, grief, or illness. Fairy tales make it easier for children to express their inner world, help them name their feelings. For example, in a pediatric oncology service in Italy, it has been observed that children symbolize illness, body image, and fears through fairy tales (Knox-Johnson, 2016).
Unfortunately, especially classic European fairy tales (such as Grimm, Perrault fairy tales) often show unhealthy gender roles to children. For this reason, we can say that fairy tales are the first place where gender roles are learned. They transform girls into gentle, quiet princesses waiting to be saved, or evil, jealous witches, whereas boys turn into brave and strong princes.
There are two kinds of women in fairy tales: those who are good, beautiful, and passive, or those who are bad, ugly, and need to be punished. Children who read only these types of fairy tales can reconcile these characteristics with their gender. So, the child’s question of “What does it mean to be a girl?”, “What’s it like to be a man?” can be shaped with these stories.
Especially fairy tales such as Cinderella and Snow White reduce women to passive figures who are rewarded for their physical beauty and kindness; male characters are shown as constantly being on the move, choosing and winning. These roles that children learn along with fairy tales, may turn into sexist thoughts in the future. These transferred roles can also cause certain stereotypical thoughts about the genders.
A boy may think that he needs to stay strong all the time, while a girl may think that the most important feature about herself is her beauty. For this reason, it would be right to study fairy tales before teaching them to children and to stay away from fairy tales that contain stereotypical gender roles.
Fairy tales show children what kind of person they should be. It would be better to create stories where there are heroes who can express their feelings, ask for help, cooperate with others, and avoid stories that show that a boy is not important without courage, or a girl’s most important quality is her kindness.
Isn’t that the message we should be giving to children? True heroism is not just about killing dragons; it’s about facing fears, accepting emotions, and having the courage to be yourself…
Little Red Riding Hood, Sleeping Beauty, Beauty and the Beast… These fairy tales are all classic and well-known fairy tales. If you want to introduce these fairy tales to your children, I believe that you should discuss them afterwards. With the change of the era, there are new tales and modified versions of these fairy tales, but if you want to read the ones that were taught to you, I suggest you talk about it and question the reality of certain roles with your child.
Fairy tales deeply affect children’s understanding of the emotional world, their perception of identity and social roles, and they are of great importance in the child’s development. Rather than eliminating classic stories, we can critically engage with them, introduce more inclusive alternatives, and talk to children about what these stories mean.
Because becoming the hero shouldn’t be about fitting in a mold, it should be about choosing who you want to be.
Resources
Knox-Johnson, L. (2016). The Positive Impacts of Fairy Tales for Children.
Koutsompou, V. (2016). The Child and the Fairy Tale: A Psychological Perspective.