Every human being enters the world from within silence, then cries with their first breath.
This cry is not only proof that life has begun but also the first evidence of humanity’s timeless need to be heard.

Every newborn baby cries the moment they leave the womb. The apparent reason is to initiate breathing. It develops as a reflex and is already coded into every individual’s nervous system. Yet it is also the beginning of an evolutionary story. Over millions of years of natural selection, it has been observed that those who cried received more attention from their caregivers and therefore were more likely to survive.

The act of crying is, at its core, an inheritance given to us for survival. No baby cries to attract attention intentionally; yet throughout human history, those who cried were heard, and those who were heard survived.

The Evolutionary Purpose of Crying

The first cry we make marks not only the start of life but also the beginning of attachment.
According to John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory, crying is an instinctive signal meant to draw the caregiver’s attention. This signal arises not only from the need to survive but also from the desire to connect.

Perhaps it carries a deeper meaning: crying is also a message of “I am not alone,” a need to feel together. When a baby cries and someone comes to hold them, a connection is made — not only physical but emotional. This silent emotional contact becomes the quiet foundation upon which all future relationships are built, as Bowlby suggests.

Trust, Safety, and the Early Cry

Different theorists have approached this phenomenon from various perspectives.
Erik Erikson places the concept of trust at the beginning of human development. In the earliest stage of life, when a baby cries, does someone come — or is there only silence?

According to Erikson, this early experience shapes an individual’s fundamental belief in the world.
If someone responds and the cry is heard, the baby begins to see the world as a safe and reliable place, one where people are accessible and needs can be met.
But if no one comes, the world becomes distant and foreign.

This early experience remains hidden beneath later stages of life, silently influencing how we relate to others — how we form bonds, trust, and intimacy.

The Cry That Never Ends

The desire to cry and to be heard is not something we leave behind in childhood; it follows us throughout life.
Carl Rogers argued that the deepest human need is to be accepted and understood unconditionally. To Rogers, this is the essence of existence itself.

In adulthood, the ways we speak, write, and love are echoes of that very first cry.
We believe that to be heard is to exist, that being understood is the most human way of feeling alive.

Over time, our breathing becomes steady, and we need words to communicate. Yet the reflex to cry never disappears.
Crying becomes not just an act of infancy but a way of breathing throughout life.

The Healing Power of Tears

Research in the field of mental health explains that crying reduces emotional tension and helps restore bodily balance — as if the body expels what the soul can no longer carry through tears.

Perhaps the true purpose of crying is not merely to relax the body, but to repair one’s connection with oneself.
As infants, we cry so that someone else will hear us; as adults, we often cry alone so that we can hear ourselves.
There is no longer a caregiver in front of us, yet the need to be heard that remains from that first cry still lives within us.
But this time, it is not a call for help — it is an act of acceptance.

Modern psychology sees tears as a means of restoring emotional balance.
William Frey’s biochemical research suggests that crying is not only a psychological but also a physiological form of cleansing.
During times of stress or sadness, hormones released by the body are excreted through tears.

Another researcher, Ad Vingerhoets, defines crying as a “social signal.”
A person who cries reveals their vulnerability to others, which often evokes empathy.
In this sense, crying serves both the body and, on a broader scale, the community.

Crying as Connection and Transformation

For this reason, perhaps, people return to crying at different points in their lives, no matter the purpose.
Crying is not merely an expression of pain; it is the need to reconnect — first with oneself, then with others, and ultimately with life itself.

The first cry we utter tells us that life has begun; the last tear we shed reminds us that we have lived.

In both the past and modern times, people have often believed that crying reveals weakness.
Yet crying is the moment when suppressed emotions find meaning in the body — a state of surrender, but also of acceptance.

Maybe this is why we learn to cry over and over again throughout life, for different reasons but with the same intention: to release what’s inside.

Tears sometimes become the language of emotions we cannot speak, sometimes a way to make peace with ourselves, and sometimes a way to connect with the world.
In every form, crying heals something within us. The deepest transformations often happen without a single word.

References

• Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and Loss: Vol. 1. Attachment. New York: Basic Books.

• Erikson, E. H. (1950). Childhood and Society. New York: W. W. Norton.

• Rogers, C. R. (1961). On Becoming a Person: A Therapist’s View of Psychotherapy. Boston: Houghton Mifflin.

• Frey, W. H. (1985). Crying: The Mystery of Tears. Minneapolis: Winston Press.

• Vingerhoets, A. J. J. M. (2013). Why Only Humans Weep: Unravelling the Mysteries of Tears. Oxford: Oxford University Press.

• Zeifman, D. M. (2001). An Ethological Analysis of Human Infant Crying: Answering Tinbergen’s Four Questions. Developmental Psychobiology, 39(4), 265–285.