Do you sometimes question yourself, “Why am I part of this life?”
We often don’t question this formation within ourselves, guided by our beliefs. Still, we can have nagging thoughts like, “I could have a better life,” or “Is this the life I deserve?”

I’d like to share with you the life of a woman I know well — my mother.

The Psychodynamics of Imagination

Imagine waking up in the year 1980.
The air is slightly overcast, the acrid scent of tarhana (a type of spice) mingles with the scent of wind-blown grass outside.

It might sound peaceful, but for some, it’s a sign of misfortune.
A little girl, throughout her school life, dreams of becoming a teacher — devoted to her family and traditions, full of faith, yet above all, hopeful.

That is, until she graduates from elementary school. Unfortunately, like her sisters, she would not be able to continue her education, because in her native village, girls were not considered worthy of schooling.

The idea that a segment of society can dictate the fate of a single individual simply because they are outnumbered is deeply disheartening.
Why can’t we, as individuals, live our short lives according to our own beliefs and achievements, without interfering in the lives of others?

It was precisely because of these rigid views that she began working in the village at an early age, while her brother continued his education.
Her childhood, instead of being filled with toys, cartoons, and learning, became consumed with daily chores and the burdens of responsibility.

Womanhood in the Village: Silent Codes

We might think that once a person comes of age, the pressure on them lessens — but in rural areas, that is rarely the case.
She faced the pressure to cover herself both in her adolescence and early adulthood.

In her village, men were held in high regard, their actions overlooked, while even a woman’s skirt not covering her ankles, or slightly above them, could invite cruel gossip.
The weight of such scrutiny wore her down.

At a young age, she decided she wanted to escape.
She was captivated by the glamorous city life she’d seen on television — the well-dressed people, the polite and modern manners, the refined way of speaking.

Driven by this vision, she cleverly turned the shallow mentality of her village to her advantage and decided to marry a city man she deemed suitable.

Migration to the City: Domestic Pressure and Identity Disintegration

Marriage — one of the most magical, beautiful, and special moments in life, isn’t it?
But for some, it’s not magic — it’s an escape, or perhaps, a storm while fleeing the rain.

Unfortunately, this time Cinderella did not live happily ever after with her prince in the dazzling, modern city life.
She had been deceived. From the very first day she arrived, she was belittled by her in-laws.

She endured countless hardships: betrayal, unfair treatment, and disdain.
She couldn’t speak out to her husband or his family because she was alone in the city she had long desired.
The reality of the city life she had dreamt of horrified her.

To make things worse, the rumors from her village still haunted her. These rumors pushed her to take on the greatest responsibility of all — becoming a mother.

Even after separating her household from her in-laws, she couldn’t find the happiness she longed for in her marriage.
This long-lasting tension revolved entirely around the child.

The villagers she grew up among were determined to use an innocent child as a bond of control, ensuring she could never fully break free or save herself.

Despite everything, this strong woman gathered her courage — albeit late — and made the brave decision to divorce. And finally, she did.

Divorce: Psychological Rebirth

For someone from a village steeped in narrow thinking, where opportunities and freedoms were scarce, divorce was both a symbol of liberation and a reason to be gossiped about.

Yet this woman, who had learned to turn a deaf ear to every comment — positive or negative — was now ready to face life’s challenges on her own.
She couldn’t even imagine leaving city life behind to return to her family home.

She had become a new person — resilient, stubborn, strong, and ready to cleanse herself from the shallow beliefs imposed upon her.
Given the circumstances of the time, this step would have made any parent proud.

Her psychological rebirth was not about escaping pain but transforming it into strength — reclaiming her sense of identity and independence.

Result: Identity Construction Through Ritual

Though she continues to face both material and emotional struggles, and despite not being able to fill the gaps left by her past, the light of faith within her burns brightly.
She knows that she is only now truly beginning her life, that she has a long and beautiful future ahead, and that she no longer needs to look back.

We too must not lose our faith, no matter the challenges we face, and we must ignore the voices of those who criticize or envy us.

Because such people are nothing more than a handful of small-minded individuals jealous of your future and your success.

Even if you falter, even if the road is hard, never turn back.
Continue walking your path with your whole being — because perseverance is the only way to victory.