The title might sound a little strange to you. How can a person possibly thank their fears? How can fear turn into an emotion worthy of gratitude, you may ask. You are right. Because we were always taught that fear is one of the most negative emotions. Whenever we were afraid of something, we were told we needed to “overcome” it. Yet no one ever told us how to live with fear, how to transform it, or how to learn from it. That is exactly what I want to talk about in this piece.
Every one of us has fears in life—events, situations, places, people, animals, or even thoughts. It is as natural to fear as it is to laugh at a joke. Fear, in fact, is one of the basic emotions we are born with, a feeling that keeps us alive. Unfamiliar emotions, or sudden realities appearing in the middle of our lives, can worry us deeply. At such moments, we often search for ways to cope and especially for ways to eliminate that fear. Yet sometimes, instead of trying to get rid of it, seeking to understand it can be far more helpful. Fear grows when ignored, but it softens when we face and talk to it.
As someone who has gone through such processes, I realized years later that my fears were not just emotions I had to “overcome.” What I first needed to understand was: Why am I afraid? How do I react when I am afraid? What message is this emotion trying to deliver to me? Because now I know: no emotion that is left unexplored can ever be resolved. We must bring it to the table, speak with it, and dare to dive into its depths. Once we understand it, moving toward solutions always becomes more lasting and healthier.
And then comes the decision of what to do with this fear. This is where we encounter a concept many of us have never heard before: holding fear by the hand. This is different from trying to suppress it, destroy it, or pretend it never existed. Because we begin to realize that fear is one of the very forces that enables us to move forward in life. Fear can sometimes protect us, and sometimes it pushes us into action. It becomes a bridge over dangerous waters, water in the middle of a great fire, or wings when we need to rise higher. It is not always something that holds us back—sometimes it becomes the very energy that carries us forward.
When I stopped being afraid of my fears and instead started listening to them, I realized they were not there to harm me, but to guide me—and often to strengthen me. For example, the fear of failure can push us to work harder and prepare better. The fear of losing someone we love can help us appreciate them more deeply. The fear of being alone can teach us the value of befriending ourselves. In short, all our fears, when seen from the right perspective, become teachers, providing both guidance and opportunities for growth.
Today I know that our fears are not enemies but companions, like parents holding a child’s hand while safely crossing the street. Accepting them instead of suppressing them makes us more mature, more aware, and stronger individuals. Yes, being afraid can be overwhelming at times; it can feel like carrying a heavy stone in your chest. But at the same time, it opens the door to growth. Because behind every fear lies new learning, new discovery, and new strength.
Even writing this very article has so much to do with my fears, you know? My fears about the future, my fear of failure, my professional anxieties, my worries about what others might think, the thoughts I sometimes hesitate to face… All of these have been stops along my path—sometimes places to rest, sometimes places to step back and gather my strength again. Without them, I might never have started writing, never heard the inner voices that led me here. That’s why my fears have not only challenged me but also moved me into action.
And so, I thank my fears. For the paths they have shown me, for the ways they have protected me, and for being an inseparable part of the experiences that shaped who I am. I encourage you, too, to allow your fears in. Listen to them. Let them walk alongside you and hold your hand. Let them slow you down at times, make you think, and remind you of your strength. Because fears are not really burdens—when carried the right way, they are our most loyal guides on this journey of life.