In the relentless pace of the modern world, we are all too familiar with the pressure of feeling compelled to be informed about everything at every moment. We know those moments: scrolling through social media feeds and everyday life, watching others’ carefully curated “best moments,” only to find ourselves questioning our own lives as a sense of inadequacy weighs on our minds. It is precisely at this point that we encounter a concept that emerges in contrast to the anxiety caused by FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out): JOMO.
JOMO (Joy Of Missing Out) refers to an individual’s conscious choice to abstain from certain social experiences or online interactions, and to experience this choice not with anxiety, but with contentment, inner peace, and subjective well-being.
In other words, the joy of missing out is simply a matter of intentional choice. Being able to say “thanks, but I’m not interested” to ourselves means creating space within our mental landscape. This is not about withdrawing from the world, but about filtering it to foster more meaningful connections. It is a practice of turning inward, stepping away from unnecessary conversations, obligatory events, and the digital stimuli that drain our spirits.
Self-Compassion: The Secure State of Turning Inward
This state of turning inward naturally leads us to the concept of self-compassion. Often, how we approach our inner voice is just as important as distancing ourselves from the noise of the outside world. Self-compassion can be thought of as the ability to treat ourselves with the same kindness we would offer a dear friend during difficult times.
In literature, this approach encompasses viewing experiences as part of a common human experience, recognizing one’s own mind without judgment, and accepting the present moment with mindfulness.
This makes it possible to explain the invisible tension between FOMO and self-compassion. Research indicates that individuals with high levels of FOMO often possess lower levels of self-compassion, which can negatively impact their life satisfaction. The constant pressure to keep up or to remain visible can, over time, detach a person from their own needs.
The “Joy of Missing Out” offers a small but significant pause here. Instead of a flow directed by social expectations, it is about listening to the needs of our own souls. Self-compassion does not mean breaking away from people or becoming isolated. On the contrary, it becomes a way to establish more sincere and sustainable bonds by respecting our own needs and boundaries.
The Art of Slow Living with JOMO
Although JOMO is sometimes misunderstood, this approach does not mean a total rejection of the digital world; rather, it implies making more conscious choices about how and how much we connect. As Montaigne stated, “The soul which has no fixed purpose in life is lost; to be everywhere, is to be nowhere.” In an age where the expectation to stay constantly connected is increasing, the selectivity offered by JOMO presents a quest for balance against this sense of fragmentation.
Selectivity naturally brings a person closer to the present moment. Of course, the point is not to withdraw entirely—it is neither about being overly engaged nor completely disconnected, but rather discovering the balance that suits one’s own rhythm. Sometimes, being able to say, “I choose not to be connected today; I want to spend some time with myself,” creates a healthy space for freedom.
How Do We Build Our Mental Filter?
In today’s world, maintaining peace amidst the endless stream of stimuli requires a degree of mindfulness. Here, JOMO acts as a filter that protects our minds. The real issue is not so much about setting boundaries as it is about choosing quality. Instead of severing social ties, it is about transforming relationships from those that “steal our time” into connections for which we intentionally make space. After all, human relationships are often nourished by their quality, not their quantity.
To achieve this, we must first recognize the triggers that constantly drive us toward a sense of “catching up.” Whether it is phone notifications, habitual app usage, or digital flows we fall into unknowingly, questioning which interactions truly add value is perhaps the first step toward digital simplification.
Life feels like a search for balance between that fast-paced tempo where we miss our own day while watching the lives of others, and the serene state of self-sufficiency offered by JOMO.
However, there is another side to this journey. We must recognize the fine line between setting boundaries and building walls. It is not about becoming too absorbed in the serenity of solitude and neglecting precious bonds; nor is it about creating silences that are difficult to return from by thinning the bridges between us and others under the guise of “taking time for myself.”
Self-compassion and being at peace with oneself do not necessitate a total detachment from people; rather, they bring the ability to move relationships onto a healthier foundation.
Conclusion
Ultimately, life is a search for balance. We strive to find our personal rhythm between the constant hustle of “catching up” created by FOMO and the comfortable state of “self-sufficiency” offered by JOMO. The important thing is neither to catch up with everything nor to give up on everything.
It is being able to say, when necessary, without hurting anyone or exhausting ourselves: “Thanks, but today I choose to stay with myself.” And in saying this, we are not moving away from the world; we are simply choosing to step back from the noise that consumes us.
References
Barry, C. T., Smith, E. E., Murphy, M. B., Halter, B. M., & Briggs, J. (2023). JOMO: Joy of missing out and its association with social media use, self-perception, and mental health. Telematics and Informatics Reports, 10, 100054.
Aranda, J. H., & Baig, S. (2018). Toward “JOMO”: The Joy of Missing Out and the Freedom of Disconnecting. MobileHCI ’18: Proceedings of the 20th International Conference on Human-Computer Interaction with Mobile Devices and Services.
Montaigne, M. de. (1958). The Complete Essays of Montaigne (D. M. Frame, Trans.). Stanford University Press.