Have you ever wondered why our hearts are more easily drawn to some people, while we never want to approach others? Or are behaviors like infidelity, jealousy, and even infidelity solely driven by our emotions, or are they traces left over from millions of years? Evolutionary psychology examines these questions from a completely different perspective.
The Unseen Dynamics of Mate Selection
What Darwin called “sexual selection” is actually manifesting itself in all of our love lives today. Throughout history, women have tended to gravitate toward partners who provide them with security, resources, and long-term support. Men, on the other hand, have focused more on indicators of youth, health, and fertility. Buss’s research across 37 cultures reveals that women prioritize reliability and the potential to provide resources when choosing a partner, while men prioritize physical attractiveness and fertility.
In fact, our heart’s compass bears the traces of millions of years (Buss, 1989). So, are we so different today? While education, culture, and shared values have become more prominent in the modern age, our inner “evolutionary compass” still functions. For example, why does someone who is “friendly and trustworthy” win our hearts more easily? Because this is coded in our subconscious as a “trustworthy partner” signal.
Loyalty and Infidelity: Is It Just a Game of the Heart?
When we talk about love, one of the greatest challenges that comes to mind is loyalty. Why do some people feel at peace in monogamous relationships, while others are driven to infidelity? Even these behaviors have an explanation in evolutionary psychology.
According to the work of Kokko and Jennions (2008), our species’ parental investment and sexual selection strategies can lead to fixed patterns in both mate selection and behaviors such as infidelity and infidelity. In a sense, the heart may simply be running a code left over from the past (Kokka, Jennions, 2008).
For men, infidelity can be seen as a strategy to increase genetic diversity. For women, it is sometimes explained by the possibility of having children with a partner with “superior genetic characteristics.” So, is this belittling our emotions? No. This is merely an explanation that sheds light on the roots of our behavior, but remember, loyalty also has a powerful evolutionary function.
The Biological Code of Love
Have you ever wondered if what we call love really begins in the heart, or in the brain? Science provides a clear answer: Love is the brain’s chemical dance. Neurotransmitters like dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin connect us to our partner, create trust, and motivate us to stay in a relationship.
Looking at a photo of our loved one activates our brain’s reward center, the dopamine-driven system. Research suggests that this attraction system, related to mate selection in mammals, is linked to the brain’s dopamine-driven reward mechanisms, and intense romantic love, a cross-cultural phenomenon in humans, is an evolved form of this system.
This means that those flutterings of our hearts are actually the modern reflection of a millions-year-old code (Fisher, Aron, & Brown, 2006). The “I listened to my heart” we see in romantic movies is actually partly a trick of our brain. But the beauty is this: These biological processes bring us closer to our partners, helping our children grow up in a safe environment.
Old Codes in the Modern World
Now you’re saying, “But times have changed, there’s online dating, cultures have changed.” Yes, that’s true. But even though we may not realize it, those old codes are still with us.
Kurzban & Weeden’s studies reveal that even when choosing online partners, people unconsciously make choices based on physical health, reliability, and social status. Even though times have changed, our old codes are with us (Kurzban & Weeden, 2005).
For example, why do we linger a second longer on certain people’s photos when looking at profiles on an app? Because that evolutionary mechanism within us is still sending signals about who is a “healthy, reliable, and suitable partner.”
Conclusion: The Heart’s Hidden Evolutionary Map
It’s easy to see love as merely a romantic emotion. But evolutionary psychology shows us that love is actually one of the most powerful strategies we’ve developed for the survival of the human species.
We may not realize it, but our hearts still follow a map that’s millions of years old. So, I ask you: When experiencing love, can we truly just say, “I chose,” or has our evolutionary heritage already made the choice for us?
References
Buss, D. M. (1989). Sex differences in human mate preferences: Evolutionary hypotheses tested in 37 cultures. Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 12(1), 1–14.
https://doi.org/10.1017/S0140525X00023992
Fisher, H. E., Aron, A., & Brown, L. L. (2006). Romantic love: A mammalian brain system for mate choice. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 361(1476), 2173–2186.
https://doi.org/10.1098/rstb.2006.1938
Kokko, H., & Jennions, M. D. (2008). Parental investment, sexual selection and sex ratios. Journal of Evolutionary Biology, 21(4), 919–948.
https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1420-9101.2008.01540.x
Kurzban, R., & Weeden, J. (2005). HurryDate: Mate preferences in action. Evolution and Human Behavior, 26(3), 227–244.
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.evolhumbehav.2004.08.012