Success, value, and happiness might be pretty easy to define on paper, and it’s not too difficult to see how society labels them. But how do they actually play out in our own lives? I wanted to share the thoughts that have been spilling out of my mind.
Not long ago I saw a video where Oğuzhan Uğur dropped a line that stuck with me: “Meanings have changed.” The more I chewed on it, the more I realized how spot-on he was—and how deeply it applies far beyond that one clip.
Somewhere along the way, “being successful” came to mean how much money we rake in or how many followers we have—no questions asked about our profession or our principles. Instead of thinking, “If I work on this, it might benefit the world, my community, or my field,” we’ve started saying, “This topic is super popular, it’ll bring followers, visibility, and that’s where the money is.” We chase what’s trending and lucrative rather than what genuinely matters.
Frankly, it breaks my heart. I’m truly, deeply saddened. Why, you ask? Because whatever happened to “I just want to live a life I can truly enjoy”? We’re slipping into a system where we measure not just success but also our own worth with numbers. And so even our happiness, peace, fulfillment, and joy start getting quantified. Instead of living our lives based on our genuine needs and desires, we’re living for the numbers. Take it or leave it. You might say, “But I don’t do that,” and I’m sure there are plenty of people who don’t. Please, don’t! Once upon a time, being in the public eye was mostly for celebrities—artists, politicians, and the like. Now doctors, lawyers, engineers, marketers, architects, almost everyone either seeks the spotlight or feels forced into it.
And what does that bring? Burnout, a sense of inadequacy, and dissatisfaction.
Think about it. A teacher becomes an educator to guide the next generation. A psychologist goes into practice to touch people’s lives. A farmer cherishes the time he spends with his family. Yet by month’s end, nearly all of us find ourselves measuring our worth by our paycheck, our follower count, or our view stats—forgetting why we got into our line of work in the first place.
You’ve probably heard this before: “Dr. So-and-so charges this much per visit—he must be top-notch” or “That fitness coach has a gazillion followers—she must be amazing.” But really—who are their clients? Are they happy? How long did it take before someone’s back pain eased? Do they tailor their care to each person, or do they hand everyone the same cookie-cutter routine? When did these questions fall off our radar?
We all have plenty to think about here. Personally, I try not to tie my success and sense of self-worth to my social media visibility, the number of people who read my posts, or how much I make by the end of the month. Instead, I ask myself: How ethically am I working? How much am I genuinely trying to be helpful? Am I improving my skills in my profession? What kind of feedback do I receive from my colleagues, my clients, and from myself? How fulfilled am I? Do I really enjoy what I do? I’m still working on that—believe me, I’m not immune to the pressures. In fact, I recognize that part of why I started writing here was to become more visible and reach more followers and clients.
For a second, I even considered stopping. But then I remembered: I’ve always loved writing. Compared to a therapy room, writing allows me to connect with many more people at once, and the hope that I might offer something someone out there needs is what keeps me going.
So, I’m inviting you all: take a good look at your own life. Try to uncover your motivations, especially the ones that come from within. I invite you to understand success and your own worth not by numbers, but by what you can honestly say about yourself. Let’s not reduce our sense of value to digits alone. Let’s reclaim real meaning in our lives.