Have you ever felt like you were everywhere but nowhere?
Have you ever said ‘I should have lived this’ while following the posts of people on your social media on your phone?
Do you look at how everyone else is shaping their lives and think that you can’t seem to shape your own life?
If these questions are on your mind, then I would like to introduce you to the concept of FOMO.
We can say that FOMO is actually a situation that you have definitely experienced even once in your life. FOMO is the abbreviation of ‘Fear of missing out’ and means ‘Fear of missing out on something’. This situation was introduced in the early 2000s, especially with the widespread use of smartphones and social media platforms, and we can say that it created a bomb effect. Since the person can see and access the lives of others at any time, he started to experience the feeling of comparing with himself and “missing out”.
These constant comparisons between one’s own life and other people’s lives have been proven by studies to have a negative impact on family relationships, bilateral relationships, friendships and workplace relationships. So much so that the individual can sometimes turn this situation into an obsession and make it a habit to memorize every moment of the people or celebrities around them on social media. The person wants to know what everyone is doing, where they are, what they are eating, where they are going, where they are staying, who they are with, and while doing this, they try to shape their own life flow by comparing that person’s life with their own life. You can think of this in a wide range from the bag a person wears on their arm on Instagram to the house they live in or the hotel they stay in on vacation.
Sense of Inadequacy
FOMO brings with it a sense of inadequacy due to the comparison, competition and the effort to catch up with the lives of others. The individual starts to think that the things he/she wants about his/her own life are not what he/she wants, that his/her belongings at home, the people around him/her, and the social life he/she has are insufficient. With this, the individual tries to run towards a point that he/she cannot reach and that carries only social satisfaction. This path is not only long and arduous, but it also starts to create memories that are empty on the inside but seem full on the outside.
If we give an example in terms of bilateral relationships, a person may choose a person whose appearance attracts attention, who has a profession with a status in the environment, who may have a high popularity in social media, and experience a relationship that is not happy but always brings satisfaction in the social environment. In this relationship, the individual covers up his/her loneliness and sense of inadequacy with social media and social satisfaction.
Economic Collapse
If FOMO becomes an obsession, it can have a huge impact on budget management. A person may risk everything to live the life of the people around them on social media. Examples include making vacation plans on a budget, trying to have ultra-luxury items, and going to places for social media photos that do not reflect reality in order to look different than they normally do. Even if the individual falls short of his/her budget at the end of the day, he/she feels good by satisfying himself/herself with the brands of the items he/she owns and the ambiance created through social media.
Unclaimed Emotions
With the FOMO effect, the individual can acquire unclaimed emotions by pretending to experience emotions that they do not agree with in their daily life on social media. These emotions are usually created in order to keep up with popularity and to follow the emotions by pretending to be in sympathy and actually ‘becoming everyone or becoming ordinary’.
Prescription
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First of all, I want you to ask yourself some questions.
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Do you often feel that others are living the life you deserve?
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How often do you go to social places on a budget?
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When you chat with people around you, do you talk more about what you have or what you would like to have?
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How often do you follow people’s posts on social media?
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What do you think quality of life means?
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What do you do to make your life better?
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When you have something, does it make you feel good to share it with others or to live in the moment?
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When you have something (furniture, a house, a car, a new friend, a social environment, a relationship, etc.), how long afterwards do you share it on social media?
When you answer these questions not once but at least twice, you can review your priorities.
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By doing a social media detox, you can be alone with yourself because FOMO can be a behavior that an individual does to avoid being alone with himself/herself.
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Increasing the time you spend on the things you like to do but can’t tell anyone.
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Instead of trying to manage your budget according to your wishes, you can think about what you can do to make your budget more quality according to your wishes. Starting a side hustle or exploring different avenues for a more prestigious work life could be a start.
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Sometimes it can also be caused by feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy. So you can focus on what experiences in your life, past or present, are going wrong. Focusing on these experiences or getting support can eliminate FOMO.
“Then you need to start thinking about self-improvement, otherwise we will have a miserable life together. So pull yourself together and value yourself! Don’t you want to do that?”
Carl Gustav Yung / Red Book
“If you aim to be something you are not, you are doomed to failure. Aim to be yourself. Aim to look, act and think like yourself. Aim to be the most loyal version of yourself. Embrace the state of being yourself. Affirm yourself. Love it. Work hard for it. When people belittle and ridicule you, don’t listen to them. Gossip is often a veiled jealousy. Don’t linger. Keep your resilience. Keep swimming.”
Matt Haig / Midnight Library
“I have the conviction that I am not living my own life. Do you want me to be more sincere? This life I live is so much not mine that if someone came to me at any hour and shouted, “Come on, get up, it’s your turn, be yourself!” I would run as if such a thing were possible. This feeling is so strong in me…”
Ahmet Hamdi Tanpınar / Stories