Is Growing Up Really What We Think It Is?
A person grows over time. At least biologically. Age increases, responsibilities grow, and life becomes more “serious” for all of us. From the outside, this process seems quite simple: school ends, work begins, relationships take shape, and a routine is established. However, the internal side of this process is generally not this orderly. Because the transition to adulthood is not only a change that occurs in the external world; it is also a highly complex transformation process that the individual experiences within their inner world.
During this process, the individual seeks answers to many questions about themselves. “Who am I?”, “What do I want?”, “What kind of life should I build?” Such questions occupy the mind from time to time. There are not always clear answers to these questions. In fact, most of the time, these answers change throughout the process. This situation can create a high level of uncertainty in the individual. Because the human mind seeks clarity. However, in this period, clarity often gives way to temporariness and uncertainty.
Living With Uncertainty
One of the most prominent characteristics of the transition to adulthood is undoubtedly uncertainty. The future has not yet fully taken shape before us. There are many options, but it is not clear which one is the “right” one. At times, making choices can be quite challenging. This situation creates a sense of freedom on one hand, while on the other hand it creates a mental burden. Because making a choice also means giving up other possibilities.
During this process, the individual may frequently question their own decisions. They may think about whether the decisions they have made are sufficient. They may compare themselves with others’ lives and enter into a state of comparison. These comparisons are often more challenging than motivating. Because everyone’s process progresses differently. However, these differences are not always visible from the outside. The social environment, media, or close relationships often present only the “organized” and “successful” parts of life. This may cause the individual to perceive their own process as more inadequate than it actually is.
The Process Of Building The Self
This period is also a process in which the individual forms their identity more clearly. The person tries to draw their own path by bringing together the values they have learned in the past, the patterns they have taken from their family, and their own experiences. This is not always an easy process. Because sometimes there is a conflict between the old and the new.
On one hand, the individual wants to remain within the safe space they are used to, while on the other hand they feel the need to build a new life. Being caught between these two situations can create internal tension. This tension may sometimes appear as indecisiveness and sometimes as an intense state of thinking. Even after making a choice, the person may continue to question whether it is the right one. This can increase mental fatigue.
The Need For Control And Reality
By nature, humans need a sense of control. The predictability of life clearly creates a sense of security in the individual. However, during the transition to adulthood, this sense of control is often shaken. Plans do not always go as expected. The scenarios that are created may not match reality.
At this point, the individual may struggle while trying to manage what they cannot control. The desire to plan everything and guarantee outcomes can sometimes create even more pressure. Because life is often not something that can be fully planned, but rather something that is experienced as a process of transformation. Accepting this difference is not always easy.
Internal Processes And Emotional Fluctuations
The transition to adulthood is not only a cognitive process but also an emotionally intense period. At times, the individual may feel strong and motivated, while at other times they may feel inadequate or directionless. These fluctuations are a natural part of the process. However, when the individual has difficulty making sense of these changes, the situation may become more complex.
Emotions do not always correspond directly with external conditions. Sometimes everything may seem fine on the outside, yet an inner sense of uneasiness may arise. The reason for this is often related not to the external world, but to the individual’s own internal processes. This situation can make it difficult for the person to understand themselves. Because there may seem to be no “concrete” problem, yet the feeling of internal pressure continues.
The Effect Of The Past And Experiences
In this process, the individual’s past experiences play an important role. Previous successes, disappointments, relationships, and learned patterns may affect the person’s current decisions. Most of the time, the individual is not aware of these effects. However, past experiences take place in the background of present choices.
Especially experiences that have left an emotional mark can shape responses to new situations. Therefore, some decisions are not only about the “present”; they are also a continuation of the past. Without realizing it, the individual may find themselves in repeating cycles. Making similar choices or encountering similar outcomes may be part of this process.
Is Struggling A Part Of The Process?
At this point, it is important not to see the difficulties experienced as a problem on their own. Because the transition to adulthood is inherently a challenging process. New responsibilities, uncertainties, and internal questioning are natural parts of this period.
When the individual struggles during this process, they may evaluate it as a failure. However, this situation is often part of development. Because change always involves a certain level of mismatch and difficulty. While the person moves away from their old order, they have not yet fully adapted to the new one. This feeling of being in-between is one of the most prominent experiences of the process.
Taking A Step Back
Perhaps one of the most important things that can be done in this process is to stop from time to time and look at oneself. Instead of constantly trying to move forward, trying to understand what is being experienced. Asking questions such as “Why do I feel this way?” and “Where does this thought come from?”
These questions are not always easy. In fact, they can sometimes be disturbing. However, this awareness allows the individual to understand themselves better. As the person becomes more familiar with their own processes, they can approach the situations they experience from a different perspective. This can make both internal balance and relationships with the external world healthier.
Between Process And Outcome
The transition to adulthood is not a process that is completed at a specific point. Rather, it is a journey that takes shape and changes over time. In this process, experiences are more central than clear answers.
Society often expects individuals to take fast and clear steps. However, the individual’s internal process does not always progress in harmony with these expectations. This mismatch can create a sense of pressure in the individual. Therefore, the process is not only individual; it also has a social dimension.
Perhaps the main issue is not to solve everything immediately, but to be able to stay within the process. Because during this period, a person does not only build a life; they also rebuild themselves. And this is often more complex than one thinks, but at the same time a more meaningful transformation.