Since my high school years, I have always misremembered a line by Behramoğlu. He actually said, “There is something I have learned from what I have lived.” Yet I have always recalled it as, “There is something I have understood from what I have lived.”
To me, this sentence has always felt like an invitation. What do we understand from what we experience? What do we understand from life itself? It is an invitation to reflect, to confront, and to repeatedly become aware of our own existence.
When life begins to feel meaningless or unbearable—when pain and hopelessness no longer seem like natural parts of being alive—if we still choose not to end our lives, there must be a purpose behind it: the instinct to live.
Sigmund Freud explored this concept through the ideas of Eros and Thanatos. According to Freud, Eros is associated with the life instinct, while Thanatos represents the death drive. We are all governed by these two opposing forces from birth. Therefore, our life instincts help us survive; they activate positive affective states such as love, compassion, and cooperation with others.
In other words, Eros is the instinct that drives us to sustain life, to create, to connect, and to persist.
Beyond Biology: The Search For Meaning
Yet we are not merely biological beings. We think, question, seek meaning, and try to make sense of our experiences. Thus, if we can remain standing in the face of life’s inevitable pain, the reason cannot be explained solely by the instinct to live.
According to Freud’s theory, Eros not only allows us to exist physically but also encompasses our desire to return to a state of security and wholeness. In other words, every human being unconsciously longs to return to the mother’s womb—a protected space where one felt completely safe.
Of course, this desire does not exist at a conscious level, but from a psychodynamic perspective, the need for safety and wholeness plays a crucial role in maintaining life. Human beings are not mere machines trying to avoid death; they are creatures who seek safety, belonging, and meaning, and who are nourished by these needs.
What Binds Us To Life
If survival cannot be explained by the life instinct alone, then what binds us to life?
Of course, every person is unique, and in their own world, they may have grand ideals, heroic stories, or revolutionary meanings in their personal myths.
But for most of us, what keeps us alive are the small yet powerful steps we take. Sometimes we find that step in someone’s smile, in a friend’s voice, in a morning coffee, or in a spontaneous walk. These are the micro-meanings of life—often invisible, yet vital for our existence.
However, things do not always unfold so easily. Viktor Frankl, after surviving horrific experiences, observed that people could endure even the most unbearable conditions.
If people have a reason to live, they can bear almost any how—any circumstance. This idea forms the foundation of logotherapy.
At our core, we are not beings solely in pursuit of pleasure or power; we are beings in pursuit of meaning.
In fact, the question “Why don’t you commit suicide?” is simply another way of asking, “What is the meaning behind your life?”
Each of us may offer different and deeply personal answers.
The Small Reasons To Stay
We do not commit suicide because there is something we understand about living. We do not commit suicide because life still holds something that connects us to it.
Sometimes this bond is a great purpose, sometimes a person, a hope for better days, or something as small as a single breath.
Even the question itself—“Why don’t you commit suicide?”—is an invitation to life. Every answer given to it, whether big or small, carries within it a fragment of healing and meaning.
The purpose and meaning of life differ for each of us, serving their own natural purpose.
Today, the purpose of this writing is to direct this question back to ourselves:
What is the smallest thing that keeps us alive today?
Which moment, which person, which idea gives us the courage to continue living?
Perhaps we will not find the answer immediately; perhaps it will be simple, invisible, complex, or a new invitation into our inner journey.
Yet the most crucial moment is to notice. Because awareness means remembering the meaning of life once again.
And we must not forget— we do not live solely by instinct. What truly keeps us alive is the presence of meaning, belonging, and purpose that nurture that instinct.
These are precisely what bind us to life.