Nostalgia: Finding Ourselves in the Warmth of the Past
Nowadays, finding beautiful memories is more difficult than it used to be, but nostalgia comes to the rescue of many of us, warming our hearts. Memories of our childhood, low-resolution photos, friends we no longer see, relatives separated by distance… When we recall memories of the past, we experience a bittersweet yet warm feeling. In psychology, this is called nostalgia. Yes, nostalgia is a familiar word, and unfortunately, there is no fancy term for it in psychology.
So why does nostalgia feel so good to us, how does it warm our hearts? Was the past really as beautiful as we think, or our brain playing a sweet trick on us?
The Psychological Foundations of Nostalgia
1. The Relationship Between Memory and Emotion
Nostalgia is closely related to the emotional filtering function of our memory. While our brain does not erase traumatic or negative memories (and erasing memories is not possible), it blurs daily negativities and highlights more positive details. Therefore, when we look back at the past, we can say that positive memories stand out, except for significant traumatic events. And thus, the past may appear warmer than the present when we recall it.
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Positive Bias (Rosy Retrospection): Research shows that when we remember past experiences, we tend to evaluate them more positively than they actually were. When we think about our holidays in past years, we say, “Everything was so wonderful,” but we don’t remember how the food made us feel sick or how our sunburn kept us awake at night. This mechanism forms the basis of nostalgia while also filtering out the negative aspects of the past, giving us a warmer perspective and helping us look to the present with hope.
2. Attachment and Sense of Security
Nostalgic memories often revolve around childhood homes, holiday breakfasts, songs we listened to as children, or childhood friends. From the perspective of attachment theory, these memories revive feelings of trust and belonging and provide a sense of well-being. In times of intense stress, the human mind tries to calm itself by mentally returning to places where it felt safe in the past as a kind of coping mechanism.
3. Identity Continuity
Nostalgia is like a compass that reminds us of who we are. Nostalgia itself has quite personal characteristics. It varies from person to person, as well as from country to country and culture to culture. However, these differences do not separate individuals from one another; rather, they create a sense of belonging for individuals.
Psychologist Costantine Sedikides and his colleagues found that nostalgia increases especially during periods of identity confusion, migration, or change. When we move abroad for education or other reasons, when we change cities due to a transfer, when we move to a new home, when we start a new job—in short, when we step outside our comfort zones—we cling more tightly to this emotion. One of the primary functions of this emotion is to seek answers to the question, “Who was I in the past, and who am I now?” and to preserve a sense of self.
4. Emotional Regulation
Positive psychology research suggests that nostalgia is a natural coping strategy against negative emotions such as loneliness, sadness, or anxiety. Nostalgic thoughts increase the release of ‘feel-good’ hormones such as serotonin and oxytocin, providing psychological relief. Of course, this relief is achieved thanks to the filtering feature of our brain that we mentioned earlier. This mechanism supports emotional regulation during challenging times.
Was the Past as Beautiful as We Think?
Here we can mention the effect of an interesting illusion: memory selectivity. Our brain can record positive memories more clearly while removing negative memories from their details to make our survival easier. As a result, the past can appear more “beautiful” and “peaceful” than it actually was. For example, when we think of the neighbourhood we lived in as children, we remember playing with our friends in the streets until evening; however, the loneliness or disagreements we felt in the same neighbourhood are pushed into the background of our memory.
The Desire to Live in the Past: From Nostalgia to Escape from Reality
Sometimes nostalgia is not just innocent remembrance; it is an escape from the present. Especially:
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During periods of intense stress
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In cases of anxiety disorders
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During depression or mourning processes
The person takes refuge in the “happier” times of the past and may devalue the present. At this point, nostalgia ceases to be functional and turns into a kind of avoidance strategy.
Transforming Nostalgia: Drawing Strength from the Past
Looking at the beauty of the past and bringing it into the present is a wonderful step towards preventing nostalgia from becoming a dysfunctional escape. What made you happy in the past? How can you incorporate that feeling into your life today? The answers to these questions can make nostalgia more functional. Remember, nothing in life is completely gone. Change can make us feel like we no longer have something, but the memories we once had can transform and accompany us today in a stronger and more mature way.
We can recreate the joy we felt when playing in the streets with our childhood friends in the friendships we have built today and with our families. We can create an environment that gave us security back then in our own homes today and rebuild that warmth.
Asking ourselves questions such as “Was I really happy back then?”, “What need of mine does nostalgia point to?” Is it security, belonging, or peace of mind? Asking these questions will help you transform nostalgia and draw strength from the past.
Answering the questions I mentioned will not be as easy as answering an ordinary question, but if you find yourself repeatedly reminiscing about a particular memory and feeling good about it, you can focus on those memories and discover which of your current needs they are fulfilling.
Finally, while nostalgia is an emotion that draws us into the warm embrace of the past, its true power lies in what it adds to our present lives. Instead of idealising the past in our minds, bringing the values it reminds us of into the present is the healthiest way to stay connected to our roots and walk towards the future with hope.