In a world where everything is rapidly changing, it’s inevitable that the way we experience love and relationships also evolves. One striking reflection of this change is a manipulative behavior that initially appears to be overwhelming affection: love bombing in relationships.
What is Love Bombing?
Love bombing is a form of manipulation that is often mistaken for genuine affection in the early stages of a relationship. The partner showers the other person with excessive attention, compliments, and love. However, the underlying goal is not pure affection—it’s to gain control, secure trust, and emotionally bind the other person for their own benefit.
In many cases, the love bomber doesn’t stop with their partner—they extend this facade of affection to the partner’s social circle dynamics, trying to earn their trust and admiration as well.
What Happens When the Relationship Deepens?
Once the relationship becomes serious, the excessive attention and affection suddenly stop. Worse yet, the love bomber’s behavior can completely reverse. Public praise and affection are replaced with criticism, belittlement, and emotional withdrawal symptoms—especially in front of others.
This behavior often stems from a desire to exert control. Love bombers typically struggle with healthy relationship boundaries and have difficulty accepting “no” for an answer. They may label attempts at setting healthy limits as irrational or offensive.
Psychological Impact on the Victim
Being subjected to such inconsistent behavior can lead to significant psychological effects of love bombing:
- Loss of trust: The victim may find it difficult to trust future partners, fearing they will be deceived again.
- Increased suspicion: Inconsistent behavior leads the person to question the authenticity of future romantic gestures in dating.
- Self-doubt: Victims often begin to question their worthiness of love, wondering if they are lovable or deserving of genuine affection.
A study has shown a negative correlation between self-esteem and love bombing susceptibility (Strutzenberg, 2016). When self-worth is based on external validation, one’s self-image becomes fragile and dependent on others’ perceptions. In contrast, individuals with high self-esteem do not rely on external approval. For those with lower self-esteem, love bombing manipulation can become a tempting path to feeling valued.
In another study, a sample of 45 young adults aged between 18 and 25 was selected. The results revealed that no findings were significantly correlated overall. However, among individuals who were in a relationship, a positive correlation was found between love bombing and narcissism, as well as between love bombing and emotional abuse. Additionally, for those in a relationship, a negative correlation was found between narcissism and emotional abuse (Beri, 2024).
How to Recognize Love Bombing
It can be difficult to spot love bombing red flags while you’re experiencing it, but some warning signs include:
- Over-the-top expressions of love early on
- Frequent and intense declarations on social media relationship posts
- Excessive gift-giving, even after you’ve expressed discomfort
- Disregard for setting healthy boundaries, especially a refusal to accept “no” as an answer
- Feeling emotionally overwhelmed or uneasy in the relationship
If expressing your concerns to your partner leads to further manipulation rather than understanding, it’s likely time to reconsider the toxic relationship dynamics.
What Can You Do?
If you suspect you’ve been subjected to love bombing in dating:
- Take a step back: Create emotional and physical distance to evaluate how the relationship makes you feel.
- Reassess boundaries: Reflect on what healthy relationship boundaries look like for you, and whether they’re being respected.
- Have an honest conversation: If harmful behaviors persist, it may be time to consider ending the relationship.
- Seek support: Friends and family can provide clarity and emotional support in relationships.
- Don’t blame yourself: Being targeted by manipulative behavior doesn’t make you weak or unworthy.
- Trust in future relationships: One harmful experience doesn’t define your entire romantic future planning.
- Consider professional help: Therapy can offer a safe space to process your feelings and rebuild self-trust after love bombing.