Commonly known as the “postpartum period,” but referred to in the literature as postpartum depression, this phase is likely a turning point in the lives of women who have given birth. Postpartum depression is a type of depression that begins within the first few weeks after childbirth and can last up to a year; it affects mood, energy, motivation, attention, and relationship dynamics.
One of the main causes of this depression is that, especially for first-time mothers, they are stepping into a world they are completely unfamiliar with. As they nurture a human child within them, they are also creating a new world, and experiencing both the excitement, sadness, and anxiety of this process is not only natural but also a key aspect of the evolutionary instinct for survival and nurturing.
A Mother’s Transition From A Dyadic To A Triadic System
Having recently bid farewell to single life and embarked on a new beginning with her partner, the woman was trying to adapt to their relationship. With her partner and herself in her life, she had structured her system around a dyadic (Diad) relationship. Later, this dyad decided to have a baby and embarked on the pregnancy process, or an unexpected pregnancy occurred, and they find themselves on the threshold of a triadic (Triad) relationship phase. Here, the couple—who were previously husband and wife—begin to think of themselves as parents as well; a third companion is added to their future and dreams, and they begin to reassess both their emotional capacities and their social lives and economic habits in light of the baby to be born.
Questions A Mother Asks Herself, Negative Automatic Thoughts Triggered By Anxiety
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Can I be a good mother?
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Do I have enough emotional capacity for my baby?
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Will I be able to take good care of my baby?
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What will I do if he or she won’t nurse? Will he or she get fussy if he or she doesn’t sleep?
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What if I smother my child emotionally?
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What if I become dependent on him or her!
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The world isn’t a very safe place; will I be able to keep them safe?
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What if they get sick? What if they don’t get better? What if something bad happens?
These are unrealistic and mostly negative judgments that pop up involuntarily throughout the day. When we view unfamiliar emotions, tasks, or situations from the outside, our minds exaggerate them, and we feel inadequate; this stems from our desire to do our very best. However, too much of this leads to anxiety and a sense of inadequacy. There’s a common saying: “The journey shapes the caravan” and “Children grow as they come into the world.” I think adapting to the role of motherhood is somewhat like these sayings; once you’ve entered this process, things that seem like inadequacy or difficulty will fade away alongside the ease that comes from experience.
A Mother’s Bond With Her Baby Does Not Mean She Has Abandoned Her Partner Emotionally Or Sexually
Postpartum hormonal and physical changes may lead to an increase in a mother’s desire to bond with her baby and meet its needs, while simultaneously causing a decline in her body image and emotional needs; This is because the rise in oxytocin and prolactin hormones through breastfeeding and scent strengthens the interaction and bond between mother and baby, while the drop in estrogen and progesterone hormones is associated with an emotional shift where the mother cannot yet prioritize her own subjective needs and instead places the baby as her top priority. This situation will return to normal once hormone levels stabilize after a short period.
In cases of potential complications or significant drops in hormone levels, medical follow-up and treatment will also be supportive. The mother’s sleep deprivation, breastfeeding, and constant caregiving activate cortisol, the stress hormone, which can lead to feelings of low mood, fatigue, crying spells, and irritability.
Among potential unintended developments, a decrease in sexual desire and intercourse, as well as vaginal dryness and pain, may occur. These issues are among the risk factors that can affect both the individual and the couple’s relationship. However, it is important to remember that open communication between partners, the emotional expressions within conversations, mutual understanding, and the power of compassion from the partner can help alleviate the difficulties of these processes and support the couple’s return to their normal routine.
Can An Irreparable Breakdown Occur In A Relationship?
This is one of the most fragile periods in a couple’s relationship. It has been observed that the problems experienced after childbirth generally stem not from a single incident, but from issues that have been swept under the rug, left unspoken, and put off. When we look at the differing perceptions partners often experience regarding the events they face:
Mother: “I’m just trying to survive; I can’t keep up.” Partner: “She doesn’t see me; she doesn’t care about me anymore.”
A strong bond forms between the mother and the baby, beginning before birth and continuing afterward. When the partner cannot emotionally invest in this bond and enter the relationship as a third party, they may unconsciously perceive themselves as a rival to the child or experience emotional withdrawal. The mother, when she feels alone, experiences this: “I’m the one keeping this whole system afloat, and I have no support.” This feeling can eventually lead to resentment, estrangement, and anger.
Conclusion
In addition to what we’ve discussed above, the first three months are known as a period when the mother is particularly vulnerable. Chaos is normal during this time; through open communication, compassion, and empathy, partners will adjust to their new roles and the experience of partnership. When the partner takes an active role in caring for the baby, it gives the mother a sense of “I’m not alone.” Sexuality can wait until the emotional bond has reestablished itself a bit.
Regarding motherhood, the emotional and psychological changes a woman experiences biologically and physiologically, and during the transition to parenthood, the partner, who is expected to support her, faces increased responsibilities and pressure to provide support within the sociocultural norms and expectations of the fatherhood role. Despite the fact that we are requesting this support in this article, I would like to thank the partner reading this for their sensitivity, the support they provide to their spouse, and their attention, and I congratulate them on their fatherhood roles.
Bibliography
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