I’ve started something brand new — really, truly new. In the first week of December, I went to my very first theatre rehearsal. As I shared it with people around me and listened to their stories, I began hearing the idea of being ‘late.’ It struck me, because when I joined the theatre group, the thought “I should’ve started earlier” had never even crossed my mind.
Then I realized: in so many areas of life, we can easily believe we’re too late. I always thought I was too late to become flexible — actually, beyond being too late, I believed I could never be flexible. “I couldn’t even do these movements as a kid,” was always my mental barrier whenever I tried to stretch.
Pilates entered my life — out of necessity — and I kept believing that old thought until the day I realized I may now be even more flexible than my seven-year-old self.
What about you — have you ever thought you were too late to start something? Maybe you’ve felt it’s too late to work on your flexibility or to get stronger. Maybe you think it’s too late to start theatre, painting, sculpture, dancing, or to learn a new language or build a new career. Maybe you’ve found yourself wishing you’d started when you were younger.
The thought, “At my age, it’s too late now,” is actually just an illusion.
How Did This Illusion Become So Powerful?
First, I want to point the needle at myself, my colleagues, and the scientists in related fields. For years, we kept emphasising how much better a child’s brain is for learning new things and how much easier it is to learn a language at an early age. But we overlooked some of the side effects of repeating this. Over time, this morphed into the mistaken belief that “our capacity to learn ends with age.”
In reality, what was being said is simply that it’s “easier” for children — and even that has many reasons beyond brain plasticity. Current research shows that the adult brain is still highly plastic: it can form new connections, learn new skills, and even grow stronger cognitively in the process. People who start completely new careers after 50, who become painters after 60, who learn a new instrument or start dancing in their 70s or even 80s — all of them show us that our capacity to learn persists throughout life.
The End-Of-History Illusion: Why We Think We Won’t Change
So why do we still automatically find ourselves saying, “I wish I had started when I was younger”?
Because that feeling reflects an illusion created by our minds.
In psychology, there is a perfect term for this: the end-of-history illusion. Researchers describe it this way: people can see clearly how much they’ve changed in the past, but they seriously underestimate how much they’ll change in the future.
For example, you easily accept that there are huge differences between who you were at 20 and who you are now. But when you look 10 years into the future, you think, “I’ll probably be more or less the same.”
This illusion feeds the belief that “it’s too late now.” Because if we assume we won’t change much in the future, starting today feels pointless — “it wouldn’t make a real difference anyway.”
But why does it even have to “make a difference”?
The Beliefs That Strengthen The Illusion: Perfectionism, Fear Of Failure, Emotional Forecasting Errors
The end-of-history illusion is not the only factor at play here. It has several strong allies that most of us know very well: perfectionism, fear of failure, and emotional forecasting errors.
When we want to start something new, our mind instantly writes a script:
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“You’ll never be good at this.”
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“Everyone is already ahead of you.”
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“Who starts painting/acting/writing at this age?”
And we accept these thoughts as if they’re rational. Yet most of them are actually defence mechanisms: ways our brain tries to protect us from short-term stress while quietly sabotaging our long-term potential.
Asking The Real Question: Why Do You Want This?
At this point, what we really need is to clearly ask ourselves what we want and what we expect.
Whatever it is we’re about to start — why do we want it, what is drawing us to it?
To be honest, if I had wanted to become a professional actor, I probably would never have started theatre because I’d think “it’s too late.” But I had these small moments where I discovered I actually enjoyed it, and when I joined theatre, my only intention was to follow what I found joyful.
With flexibility, for a long time I held myself back by thinking, “I won’t be able to do the splits anyway.” Shifting that thought to “If I really want it and put in the work, maybe I can” helped me a little. But it’s still a distant goal, so to keep my motivation alive, I focus on how I feel right now — on the feelings that come up as I stretch, as I see even tiny bits of progress.
Emotional Forecasting Errors: Why You Can’t Predict How Much You’ll Enjoy Something
Research shows that people are actually quite bad at predicting how much they’ll enjoy a new activity before they start it. This is called an affective forecasting error. We misjudge how we’ll feel in a future situation.
For example, we think, “If I start theatre, I’ll probably struggle and won’t enjoy it.”
Then we start — and suddenly it becomes one of the most meaningful experiences of our lives.
Our brain systematically underestimates how resilient our emotions are and how adaptable we can be.
I think this is exactly why “experience” matters so much. First, try it. Experience it without overthinking what comes after, and just see how you feel — because you may not be able to accurately predict that feeling.
If you had asked me a few years ago, I would’ve told you I definitely wouldn’t enjoy doing theatre…
You Start When You’re Ready — Not When You’re Young
To sum up everything I’ve poured out here: the truth is this — the right time to start something is when it becomes meaningful to you.
If you had started dancing at 17, maybe you wouldn’t have continued. At 25, maybe you would have quit because life was too demanding. You’re starting now because your life, your perspective, and your inner needs are aligning in this exact moment.
A Final Note To Both Myself And To You
The thought “I’m too late” is not actually an alarm; it’s an illusion. And the beautiful thing is this: the moment you notice it, a door opens.
Because being “too late” is, most of the time, not something that truly exists.
Most of the time, it’s just a thought.
And thoughts can change.
You can change.
You are right on time to begin.