In this article, I will talk about gaslighting, a powerful form of manipulation that many people are subjected to without realising it.
In romantic relationships, individuals can take on different character traits. This is related to various factors such as personal history, genetic predisposition, and upbringing. Some people may develop a more defensive attitude or avoidant attitude in new relationships because of negative past experiences. This can lead to misunderstandings, communication breakdowns, and emotional conflicts. Sometimes, even well-intentioned behaviours of the partner may be perceived as a threat due to past traumas. At this point, what is important is how the individual manages this process rather than whether the relationship is over or not. Some people come out of this situation stronger; others may develop more hurtful behaviours and destructive behaviours. One of these destructive behaviours is gaslighting.
Gaslighting is when a person systematically distorts reality in a way that causes another person to question their perceptions, emotions, and even their sanity. This form of abuse is often a psychological tactic used by the powerful party to maintain control. The abuser usually denies the negativities that are his/her responsibility and tries to make the victim believe that he/she is the only one to blame for what happened. In this process, various orientations and manipulation techniques are used against the victim. With this method known as ‘displacement’, the victim’s trust in his/her own inner reality is shaken; the person starts to believe in the false reality fabricated by the abuser. (Uzun, F., 2024)
The abuser wants to establish a close relationship with the victim because he/she wants to maintain his/her influence over the victim and to eliminate the possibility that the victim may turn against him/her. These behaviours can often result from the abuser’s inability to process and express emotions, low frustration tolerance, or narcissistic traits.
To analyse gaslighting through popular culture, the character of President Snow in the Hunger Games series is a striking example. The sentence “Only those we love deeply wound us, Miss Everdeen…” is a clear indication of emotional manipulation. With this quote, Snow expresses the effect of love on people and how he uses it as a control mechanism.
Psychological Profile of President Snow
- Emotional Manipulation Expert: Snow is someone who has realised that the weakest part of people is their loved ones. He sees love as a weakness and uses it as a means of oppression. In short, Snow is an emotional gaslighter because of his approach. Instead of targeting people directly, he achieves psychological superiority by controlling their loved ones.
- Distrust of Love: This sentence also reflects Snow’s fear and distrust of love. A break in his past may have made him defensive against love. Therefore, he either does not love at all or tries to survive by controlling the love of others.
- Traces of the Past: Snow’s words suggest that he is someone who has formed deep bonds in the past but has been damaged by these bonds. Instead of dealing with it, he chose to turn his pain into power and instead of connecting with love, he chose to use love as a weapon.
Conclusion
The example of President Snow shows us that individuals who engage in gaslighting tend to see love not as an emotional intimacy, but as a tool for control. Instead of establishing a real connection, they tend to control the other person. However, in an emotionally healthy relationship, love is built on mutual respect, empathy, and genuine trust. Recognising and preventing forms of abuse such as gaslighting is of great importance for both the individual’s own mental health and relationships.
References
- Nazir, T., & Ozcicek, A. (2022). Gaslighting: Confronting a two-faced emotional abuse. Anadolu University Journal of Education Faculty (AUJEF), 6(3), 241–250.
- Uzun, F.İ., & Uğurlu Bulut, N. (2024). Gaslighting and Psychological Approach. EJONS International Journal on Mathematic, Engineering and Natural Sciences, 8(3), 374–380.