Have you ever asked yourself, “Who am I?”
Maybe in those suffocating hours when you couldn’t fall asleep,
maybe at a bus stop, maybe in the middle of a large crowd…
Most of us leave this question unanswered because its answer is much deeper and harder than we imagine. Perhaps this is one of the greatest burdens of youth: finding oneself. It is not as clear-cut a process as starting a new job or preparing for an exam; it is more like a long journey to a city you will visit for the first time…
The period of youth is already somewhat turbulent in this way. From the outside, it looks fun, energetic, free, carefree… But inside, there is a constant restlessness: “How will my life continue, where will it lead, am I making the right choices, what do I want, how do I look from the outside, who am I really?”
Erik Erikson argues that there are psychosocial crises that individuals must resolve in every stage of life and emphasizes that in order to achieve successful social development, individuals need to resolve these crises. At this point, such questions bring to mind the identity crisis—the critical stage in Erikson’s developmental theory corresponding to the transition from adolescence to young adulthood, when the individual seeks an answer to the question “Who am I?” and shapes their sense of self.
Erikson says that the greatest psychological task of youth is to find one’s identity. If we fail to do so, a sense of emptiness follows us throughout life.
Erik Erikson’s psychosocial development theory presents eight stages of life, each containing a specific crisis or conflict. In these stages, he emphasizes that in order to cope with future conflicts, individuals must adequately resolve each crisis, which acts like a domino effect.
1 – Trust vs. Mistrust (0–1.5 Years)
In this first stage, infants must develop trust in their environment through interaction with caregivers. When care is inconsistent or insufficient, the child may develop insecurity and anxiety.
For example, when a mother comes and holds her baby when it cries, trust is nurtured; in the opposite case, the baby learns to view the world with mistrust.
2 – Autonomy vs. Doubt (1.5–3 Years)
With the development of walking and speech, the child gains skills in exploring and controlling objects. Excessive restriction or criticism during this stage may undermine the child’s self-confidence. If the feeling of “I can do it” does not develop, the child will constantly doubt their own abilities.
3 – Initiative vs. Guilt (3–6 Years)
By the end of the preschool period, the child should be able to initiate activities independently. Supporting these initiatives fosters self-confidence, while negative parental reactions may create guilt.
For instance, if a child is drawing and hears “that looks silly,” guilt replaces initiative.
4 – Industry vs. Inferiority (6 Years–Adolescence)
During primary school years, the child develops talents and acquires social skills. However, children who experience feelings of failure or exclusion may develop a sense of inadequacy, leading to difficulties in later life.
For example, a child who constantly receives low grades and lacks support feels incompetent.
5 – Identity vs. Role Confusion (Adolescence)
In adolescence, the individual tries to find their own identity by playing different roles within an expanding social circle. Successfully resolving this crisis leads to the development of a consistent self-concept. Otherwise, the individual may form an unstable and uncentered self-image.
The question “Who am I?” resonates most powerfully during this stage.
6 – Intimacy vs. Isolation (Young Adulthood)
The main conflict faced in young adulthood is between intimacy and isolation. Developing the capacity for emotional, moral, and sexual commitment to others requires giving up some personal preferences, assuming responsibilities, and relinquishing a portion of one’s privacy.
Those who cannot resolve this crisis struggle to form meaningful psychological relationships and experience feelings of isolation.
7 – Generativity vs. Stagnation (Middle Adulthood)
In mid-adulthood, individuals begin to feel responsibility not only for themselves and their partners but also for their families, work, society, and future generations.
Those who have not resolved previous developmental tasks focus on their own desires, question past decisions, and may choose freedom over security, leading to a stagnant life.
Raising children and engaging in socially beneficial work reflect generativity, while focusing solely on self-interest results in stagnation.
8 – Integrity vs. Despair (Old Age)
In old age, individuals look back on their lives seeking peace and wholeness. Those who have resolved previous crises live without regret and with a sense of integrity.
However, if these crises remain unresolved, they experience dissatisfaction, hopelessness, and feelings of worthlessness.
(Erikson’s Psychosocial Stages of Development, Lecture Notes, 2025)
So What Is “Identity Vs. Role Confusion,” And How Can It Be Overcome In A Healthy Way?
In fact, an identity crisis is the period when the questions “Who am I, what do I believe in, which path will I take in life?” remain unanswered.
It may arise while choosing your clothing style, your profession, or trying to be accepted in a group of friends.
The way to overcome it healthily begins with accepting this uncertainty. Instead of expecting everything to become clear immediately, trying, exploring, and not being afraid to make mistakes make this process easier.
Because finding identity is not a sudden enlightenment but a journey slowly built—like discovering your direction step by step on a journey without a compass.
Another way to overcome the identity crisis is to listen to and find your own voice.
While those around us constantly give advice such as “do this, choose that, dress like this, follow them,” we often feel trapped in others’ expectations.
But identity is not born from the roles others assign us; it grows out of our own experiences.
Sometimes through a hobby, sometimes through a voluntary social responsibility project, and sometimes through a failure, we come to know ourselves better.
Thus, identity is not a single answer but rather the sum of our experiments, choices, and small lived moments.
The Call Of Philosophy
Existentialist philosophers speak to us from a similar point. For example, Sartre says, “Man is condemned to be free,” referring to the heavy burden of having to make one’s own choices. In other words, he states that it is up to us to choose who we will become. And precisely because of this, this responsibility can sometimes weigh heavily upon our shoulders, even crush us.
Viktor Frankl is more hopeful in this regard: according to him, the search for the meaning of life is the only key to finding who we are.
So What Now?
Perhaps the point is this: the search for identity is not a single question to be answered in one day, but rather a long process of asking again and again—sometimes even embracing the answer “I don’t know.”
The feeling of being lost that we experience in youth is actually part of the journey.
So, when you ask yourself this question, do not expect an immediate definite answer. Because finding out who you are is not a problem demanding a quick solution; it is a story learned by living, experiencing, making mistakes, falling, getting up, and trying again.
Remember: finding who you are is not a destination—it is a long story you rewrite every day.
At this point, I also recommend reading Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning, because there you will find a powerful perspective on how deep, painful, and yet precious the process of discovering one’s identity and purpose in life can be.