Disappointment…
That familiar moment when bridges built with hope collapse one by one, and inner balance trembles. Sometimes a goal remains unreached, sometimes a relationship fades, sometimes an effort goes unseen. For most, these wounds heal with time. Yet for some, disappointment becomes the threshold of an inner darkness—one that quietly reshapes self-perception, worldview, and belief in the future.
According to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), this darkness does not arise from the event itself but from the meaning we attach to it. As Beck (1976) explains, it is not the event that pulls us toward depression but our interpretation of it. This insight moves us from the role of passive victims to active participants capable of observing, questioning, and transforming our own thoughts.
The Inner Dialogue Of Despair
When disappointment strikes, the mind fills with automatic negative thoughts:
“I’m a failure.”
“No one cares about me.”
“Everything always goes wrong.”
These statements accelerate emotional collapse. Once the mind begins to feed on such distortions, every new experience confirms the same false pattern: “I failed because I am inadequate.”
CBT encourages individuals to challenge these internal assumptions through reflective questioning (Burns, 1980):
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Am I really always a failure?
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Does this single event define who I am?
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Could there be another explanation for what happened?
This process of inquiry marks the first step in cognitive restructuring. Gradually, one realizes that disappointment is not an identity—it is an experience. When thoughts begin to shift, emotions inevitably follow.
The Myth Of Icarus: A Lesson In Cognitive Distortion
The ancient Greek myth of Icarus mirrors this psychological journey. Seeking escape from Crete, Icarus and his father Daedalus crafted wings from feathers and wax. Daedalus warned, “Fly neither too high nor too low; the sun will melt the wax, and the sea’s dampness will weigh you down.”
Yet, overcome by the ecstasy of freedom, Icarus thought, “I have no limits anymore.” As he soared toward the sun, the wax melted, his wings dissolved, and he fell.
This myth reflects more than tragedy—it illustrates a cognitive distortion. Icarus’s belief, “I can do anything,” was an overgeneralized thought, detached from reality. When that thought collided with the truth, hope transformed into despair. Similarly, in depression, individuals often perceive life in rigid extremes—all or nothing, good or bad (Ellis, 1994). This loss of cognitive flexibility creates a psychological trap where hope yields to hopelessness.
Learning To Fly Again
CBT teaches that falling does not mark the end—it marks the beginning of awareness. To rise again, one must first look inward and observe the dialogue of the mind. Perhaps Icarus’s fall symbolizes humanity’s descent into self-awareness.
Within that descent, CBT offers a framework to rebuild new wings—ones made not of fragile wax, but of realistic, adaptive, and resilient thinking.
Depression often feels like an inner silence. Yet within that silence, what echoes is not reality itself but our interpretation of it. CBT invites us to listen closely and to rewrite that echo.
The thought “I am worthless” can, through awareness and reflection, become “I am worthy, though I am struggling right now.” Such subtle shifts in cognition transform emotion—and emotion, in turn, transforms life.
Sometimes, to fly again, all we need is to repair the wax within our own minds.
References
Beck, A. T. (1976). Cognitive therapy and the emotional disorders. International Universities Press.
Burns, D. D. (1980). Feeling good: The new mood therapy. William Morrow.
Ellis, A. (1994). Reason and emotion in psychotherapy (Rev. ed.). Birch Lane Press.