When autumn arrives, nature once again teaches us with its patient wisdom: everything has its time. Trees shed their leaves, branches stand bare, and the wind feels sharper. This cycle is not only a rhythm of nature but also a metaphor for human life. Just like the falling leaves, there are seasons, relationships, habits, and roles in our lives that must come to an end.
Psychologist William Bridges (1991), in his book Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes, emphasizes that a transition is not only about beginning something new but also about accepting an ending. According to him, true beginnings are impossible without closures. This perspective perfectly aligns with autumn’s language: first the leaves fall, then the soil rests, and eventually spring returns.
The Psychology of Letting Go
One of the most common phrases I hear from clients is: “I can’t let go.” Sometimes it refers to a relationship, a job, or even a harmful pattern of thought. Yet in psychological literature, letting go is considered a crucial skill for mental health. For instance, Hayes and colleagues (1999), through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), highlight the importance of learning to let go of what cannot be controlled and instead choosing actions aligned with personal values.
Still, letting go is not easy—because uncertainty is frightening. The human brain, particularly the amygdala, dislikes the unknown. What already exists—even if painful—often feels safer simply because it is familiar. Like a branch clinging to a dried leaf, we too hold tightly to things that no longer serve us.
The Importance of Farewell
When describing grief, Freud (1917) spoke of “withdrawing the libido from its attachment to the object.” In other words, saying goodbye to someone or something we love means reclaiming the emotional energy invested in it. This process is an essential part of healthy closure. Without it, we risk remaining stuck in the past.
Autumn reminds us that farewells are natural. When leaves fall to the ground, they do not vanish—they nourish the soil and become the source of new life. Similarly, endings in our lives prepare the ground for fresh beginnings. The end of a relationship may help a person discover themselves more deeply. Leaving a job can open the door to a different career path.
The Fragility of Beginnings
Every ending that leads to a new beginning often feels fragile. Much like the cold winter that follows autumn, which serves as a period of preparation, we too may feel vulnerable, uncertain, or exposed when stepping into something new. And that is entirely natural.
Psychologist Carol Dweck’s (2006) concept of the growth mindset offers guidance here: seeing mistakes or challenges during transitions not as signs of inadequacy, but as essential parts of growth.
A fresh start rarely brings instant strength or clarity; it is built gradually, step by step. After shedding its leaves, a tree does not bloom immediately. It rests and gathers strength. This metaphor beautifully reflects the human psychological process.
Everyday Reflections
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A young person leaving for university must let go of some childhood friendships. While this can feel lonely, it paves the way for new bonds.
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Someone going through a divorce may bid farewell to a relationship that has ended, yet gain the chance to rebuild their identity.
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Retirement marks the closure of a professional role but also provides the opportunity to explore new interests.
During this season of autumn, it may be helpful to reflect on questions such as:
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What in my life no longer serves me, and am I ready to release it?
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Which endings are actually opening new spaces for me?
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How can I prepare myself for the beginnings ahead?
The falling leaves may seem like a melancholic scene, but in truth, they are among the wisest signs of life’s rhythm. Endings and beginnings are not opposites; they are complementary. Our psychological flexibility lies in our ability to embrace this cycle.
So next time you watch the golden leaves drift from a tree, remind yourself: “Letting go is not losing. Letting go is making room for something new.”