Non-violent Communication
Non-violent communication (NVC) is an approach introduced by psychologist Marshall Rosenberg that emphasizes compassionate connection and understanding through empathetic listening rather than criticizing and judging. According to Rosenberg (2015, p.23), there are two parts of non-violent communication. The first one is expressing oneself honestly through the four components – observation, feelings, needs, and requests. The second one is receiving the message from the other person emphatically through the four components.
The Components of Non-violent Communication (NVC)
This approach consists of four components: observations, feelings, needs, and requests.
Observation
Observation is a neutral description of what a person did without mixing in any evaluation or judgments (Sunfield Center, n.d., para. 4). Keeping observations and evaluations separate is crucial. According to Rosenberg (2015), this distinction is essential because when we blend our observations with evaluative language, we increase the probability that others will experience our words as criticism rather than neutral information (p. 42). We should be able to express ourselves clearly and without imposing our opinion on the person next to us.
Examples:
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Observation with evaluation: Your room is always dirty.
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Observation without evaluation: Since last month, I haven’t noticed that you have been tidying your room.
Feelings
The second element of non-violent communication is emotions. Expressing our emotions through a rich vocabulary enables us to be understood better by others. Rosenberg emphasizes this component, stating that “by developing a vocabulary of feelings that allows us to clearly and specifically name or identify our emotions, we can connect more easily with one another” (Rosenberg, 2015, p. 63). Certain expressions should be avoided, such as vague statements like “I am okay” or “I am good,” as well as “I am bad” or “It is hard,” as they indicate ineffective communication.
Needs
The third element of the NVC model is needs. According to Adeline (2023), based on Rosenberg’s NVC model, needs are the source of each feeling. Emotional awareness facilitates the identification of one’s underlying needs. For example, a teenager who rebels against strict rules without recognizing his anger could, if aware of his emotions, express his need for freedom instead of acting out, helping both sides communicate better.
Requests
The final component of the non-violent communication model is requests. After separating observations from evaluations, understanding and expanding our emotional vocabulary, and identifying our needs, the next step is to make clear requests to meet those needs. As outlined by Marshall Rosenberg (2015), it is essential to know what one wants or does not want. He emphasizes being clear, positive, and using concrete action language that reveals genuine needs (p. 89).
Barriers to Compassionate Connection
Rosenberg (2015) believes that humans are naturally drawn to compassionate connection (p. 40). Barriers that disconnect us from this inherent compassion include moralistic judgments and comparisons. Moralistic judgments involve categorizing others’ behaviors as right or wrong when those behaviors don’t match our values (p. 30). Statements such as “This is not appropriate” or “What a selfish mindset” are common examples. Comparisons between individuals can create resentment and disconnection (p. 34).
From Home to Workplace: NVC in Action
Non-violent communication can make our lives easier in multiple areas. Rosenberg outlines several applications, including personal relationships, family dynamics, therapeutic and counseling relationships, diplomatic negotiations, and business meetings (Rosenberg, 2015, p. 24). In particular, the healthcare sector benefits greatly, where communication challenges are both complex and consequential. A 2024 study establishes NVC as a valuable intervention strategy for fostering better interpersonal connections among healthcare workers. It also offers managers practical solutions for conflict prevention and addressing workplace aggression, particularly psychological and moral harm (Adriani et al., 2024).
Better Communication is Possible
By beginning with self-understanding and completing the non-violent communication process, we develop the ability to better comprehend and connect with others. Through empathetic listening without judgment and avoiding evaluative language, we prevent negative thoughts and emotions from arising toward the other person. “It is possible to alleviate the communication problems that persist today and may continue in the future through non-violent communication. As Ruth Bebermeyer beautifully expresses in her poem featured in Rosenberg’s work (2015, p. 16):
“There are things I need to say,
Things that mean so much to me,
If my words don’t make me clear,
Will you help me to be free?”
References
Adriani, P. A., Hino, P., Taminato, M., Okuno, M. F. P., Santos, O. V., & Fernandes, H. (2024). Non-violent communication as a technology in interpersonal relationships in health work: A scoping review. BMC Health Services Research, 24, Article 289. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12913-024-10753-2
Proaction International. (n.d.). Nonviolent communication: Best practices at work. https://blog.proactioninternational.com/en/nonviolent-communication-best-practices-at-work#:~:text=The%20four%20principles%20of%20nonviolent,and%20make%20clear%2C%20positive%20requests
Rosenberg, M. B. (2015). Şiddetsiz iletişim (A. Aksoy, Trans.; 7th ed.). Remzi Kitabevi.
Sunfield Center. (n.d.). An introduction to nonviolent communication. Sunfield Center. Retrieved September 27, 2025, from