There are many situations in our daily lives that we call “problems.” Workplace problems, exam anxiety, academic responsibilities, economic stresses, relationship conflicts, or internal questioning about whether we are fulfilling our religious and personal responsibilities… The list goes on. The common point of these situations is that they are mostly occupied by a negative meaning frame in our minds.
So why do we categorize the events that challenge us as “problems,” while not evaluating the things that make us feel good with the same seriousness? Why are we more inclined to analyze the bad rather than systematically searching for the good? In the psychology literature, this situation is explained by the concepts of selective attention and cognitive framing.
The mind tends to amplify whatever stimulus it focuses on. When we constantly pay attention to negative experiences, our minds begin to code the world as a threatening and inadequate place. However, when we consciously direct our attention to positive experiences, our perceptual filters change. Body and mind work as a whole. Our emotional processes affect our physical energy, and our physical condition affects our mood. This cooperation can sometimes break down. A person may feel depressed, unwilling, and unmotivated. The pleasure they derive from life may decrease.
At this point, there is a healthy approach that can be applied: Consciously seeking and making visible the good.
The First Step: Normalizing The Process
The first step is to normalize the process we are experiencing. Emotional fluctuations are a natural part of being human. Depressive periods, post-traumatic mood swings, or grieving processes are part of human nature. Instead of labeling them as “abnormal” or “only happening to me,” accepting them as human experiences increases psychological resilience.
The Second Step: Naming The Problem
The second step is to name the problem. Uncertainty amplifies anxiety; naming it increases the feeling of control. “I am currently experiencing exam anxiety.” “This is a grieving process.” “I am experiencing low motivation.” This clarity reduces mental confusion.
Some individuals unconsciously bring up their negative experiences constantly. This can sometimes be a reflection of the need to be seen and understood. However, constantly focusing on the negative keeps the mind’s perception of threat alive. The positive psychology approach suggests that individuals should recognize their strengths and areas that nourish their well-being.
At this point, a critical question arises: “What are the things in my life that truly make me feel good?” The answers to this question vary from person to person. For some, it’s walking, for others it’s praying, for others it’s writing, for others it’s spending time with loved ones… The important thing is not to leave these beneficial behaviors to chance, but to consciously and regularly incorporate them into one’s life.
For example, instead of constantly talking about health problems in a group setting, talking about success, a small event to be grateful for, a beautiful memory, shifts the mental focus. The mind reinforces repetitive themes. If we constantly talk about problems, the problems grow. If we consciously repeat positive experiences, the good becomes more visible in the mind. This is called “cognitive reframing.” The event itself may not change; however, the meaning we assign to it can. A rainy day means gloom for some, peace for others. It is the mental interpretation that determines the meaning.
Training The Mind For Healing
Our minds are more flexible than we think. Just as we can strengthen our muscles by exercising them, we can also train our attention. Creating a small “list of things that make us feel good” each day, writing down three things to be grateful for, or noticing a detail that pleases us during the day, increases the brain’s sensitivity to positive stimuli.
Of course, this approach does not mean suppressing emotions. Denying pain or ignoring challenging emotions is not healthy. But it is possible to see the good while experiencing emotions. Healing often begins at this point of balance.
Finally, it is important to remember: Where the mind focuses, emotions flow. If we constantly ask the question, “Why can’t I heal?”, the mind searches for evidence of its inability to heal. However, when we ask the question, “What makes me feel good?”, the mind begins to generate answers to that question.
Healing doesn’t always come with major transformations. Sometimes it begins with a small awareness, sometimes with a sentence, and sometimes with a slight change of direction. Discovering what makes you feel good is taking responsibility for yourself. Because body and mind are one whole. The antidote to mental poisoning is consciously incorporating what makes you feel good into your life.
Remember
If you don’t seek what is good, the mind automatically gravitates towards negativity. But if you make the good visible, both your soul and body will accompany this change.