The fast pace of modern life constantly directs individuals to be occupied with external factors. Between the news, social media, workload, and uncertainties, the mind often gets stuck on elements outside one’s circle of control. This situation, often unnoticed, can disrupt both psychological and physiological balance. Research shows that a diminished sense of control increases stress hormones and weakens the immune system (Cohen, Janicki-Deverts, & Miller, 2007). Psychologically, focusing on uncontrollable events is associated with anxiety disorders, burnout, and depressive symptoms (Bandura, 1997).
Understanding The Circle Of Control
The circle of control consists of thoughts, behaviors, and reactions that a person can directly influence (Covey, 1989). For example, preparing for a meeting, adopting a constructive attitude during a discussion, or working on techniques and tactics for a critical match all fall within this area.
However, during such situations—meetings, discussions, or competitions—there will inevitably be factors we cannot influence. These elements persist regardless of our will. What we must do is focus on doing our best, and instead of fixating on what went wrong afterward, reflect on how we can be more cautious next time.
If a situation lies completely outside our circle of control—such as an unexpected phone call during a meeting or a natural disaster—we should avoid dwelling on it. Instead, we must shift our focus forward, thinking about how we can recover from a lost match or a poorly executed meeting in the fastest and most efficient way possible.
Yet many people direct their energy toward past events or future hypotheticals. This mental orientation depletes cognitive resources, leading to distraction and loss of motivation. When we occupy our minds with matters beyond our control, we limit our potential in areas where we actually have influence. In other words, when we invest our energy in things we cannot affect, we reduce our own capacity for growth.
The fact that lost time cannot be regained serves as a crucial reminder. Engaging with issues beyond our control not only fuels anxiety but also prevents us from experiencing the present moment.
The Power Of Staying Present
This condition is directly related to the individual’s relationship and communication with themselves (Brown & Ryan, 2003). People often overlook the value and lessons found in silent moments spent alone. Yet psychological balance doesn’t stem only from constant production or activity — it also requires the ability to pause and breathe.
As emphasized in mindfulness research, the practice of focusing on the present moment enhances emotional regulation and reduces stress responses (Kabat-Zinn, 2003). Thus, solitude or stillness should not be seen as a pause, but rather as a necessary space for mental renewal.
Being Present In Relationships
The value of being present extends beyond the individual level to relationships. The meaning of time spent with family, friends, or loved ones deepens only when we are fully present in those moments.
Equally important is showing the same care toward time spent with oneself. Solitary moments are vital for rebuilding self-awareness, self-compassion, and inner integrity.
Just as it is important to spend part of our time “productively,” choosing not to be productive can also be a form of productivity. Resting, reflecting, and being still are essential components of psychological resilience (Fredrickson, 2001).
The practice of staying present is not just a state of awareness; it is also a way of living in harmony with life. Individuals who act with this awareness respond more flexibly to uncontrollable conditions and maintain emotional regulation more effectively.
The Empowering Effect Of Focusing On Control
Focusing on one’s circle of control enhances a person’s sense of agency, one of the fundamental elements of psychological well-being.
As the wise turtle in Kung Fu Panda says:
“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift — that’s why it’s called the present.”
This quote encapsulates a fundamental truth in psychology: the past cannot be changed, and the future is uncertain. The only time frame we truly have is the present — and it is a gift.
Conclusion
Focusing on our circle of control and staying present are essential for mental health, stress management, and self-awareness. Being preoccupied with what we cannot control drains our energy and diminishes our potential, while directing attention toward what we can control strengthens inner balance and life satisfaction.
True change begins not with controlling life, but with noticing the present moment.
References
Bandura, A. (1997). Self-efficacy: The exercise of control. W.H. Freeman.
Brown, K. W., & Ryan, R. M. (2003). The benefits of being present: Mindfulness and its role in psychological well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(4), 822–848. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.84.4.822
Cohen, S., Janicki-Deverts, D., & Miller, G. E. (2007). Psychological stress and disease. JAMA, 298(14), 1685–1687. https://doi.org/10.1001/jama.298.14.1685
Covey, S. R. (1989). The 7 habits of highly effective people. Free Press.
Fredrickson, B. L. (2001). The role of positive emotions in positive psychology: The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. American Psychologist, 56(3), 218–226. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.56.3.218
Kabat-Zinn, J. (2003). Mindfulness-based interventions in context: Past, present, and future. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 10(2), 144–156. https://doi.org/10.1093/clipsy/bpg016