What is perfectionism, and what are its signs?
Perfectionism can be defined as the tendency of individuals to expect performance beyond what is required either from themselves or others in a given situation, and the inability to accept anything less than perfect performance (Hollander, 1965). The component of perfectionism that causes excessive preoccupation with mistakes can often be particularly challenging for individuals. Even when a person performs significantly well—often better than the majority—they may still feel guilty for not being “perfect.” As a result, they may become unable to feel satisfaction with their achievements. Over time, this leads to constant self-criticism and a pervasive sense of dissatisfaction.
Perfectionism has shown varying tendencies over the years. While historically standards of physical appearance placed pressure particularly on women, over time, professional and domestic expectations have been added. A woman is often expected to simultaneously be a good mother, a successful professional, and an ideal partner—greatly increasing the burden she carries. If perfectionism is already part of her personality structure, the risk of depressive tendencies becomes nearly inevitable. This situation is not vastly different for men either. In modern life, responsibilities including work, household chores, fatherhood, and decreased support from extended family have led to intense pressure on men as well.
What does perfectionism lead to?
Perfectionism is not simply the desire to do one’s best; it has been found to be associated with several serious psychopathologies. Research has linked perfectionism with social anxiety (Newby et al., 2017), eating disorders (Rivière & Douilliez, 2017), bipolar disorder (Corry et al., 2013), and obsessive-compulsive disorder (Frost & Steketee, 1997; Moretz & McKay, 2009). Among the most common psychopathologies observed in perfectionistic individuals are depression and anxiety (Jensen et al., 2018; Gnilka & Broda, 2019).
If you have ever experienced depression—or even come close to it—or if someone close to you has been diagnosed with depression, you may have noticed that such individuals frequently exhibit self-blaming tendencies. They often think in all-or-nothing terms, engage in overgeneralization, and commit cognitive distortions such as selective abstraction (Beck, 1979). In selective abstraction, individuals attribute failures entirely to themselves while attributing successes to external factors or chance. These cognitive distortions mirror the thinking style commonly found in perfectionists. Perfectionists tend to interpret experiences or self-worth in binary terms: either they are successful or they are failures—leaving no room for gray areas. Their goals are often extremely high and rigid. They feel compelled to meet these nearly unattainable standards in order to maintain their self-esteem.
To a certain extent, striving for perfection is a desirable and understandable phenomenon—it can fuel motivation and hard work. However, when perfectionism becomes excessive, individuals begin to evaluate themselves harshly. They treat themselves with extreme criticism in the face of perceived failures and often suffer severe psychological consequences when unable to meet their high standards.
Perfectionistic attitudes are not always self-directed; they can also damage interpersonal relationships. Perfectionists may expect the same unattainable standards from their partners or children. In professional or academic settings, they may experience difficulties due to their belief that their work—or the work of others—is never “good enough.” As a result, they may miss deadlines or become overwhelmed by responsibilities.
What causes perfectionism?
As with many traits in psychology, the roots of perfectionism often trace back to childhood—yes, childhood again. Particularly when a child is raised by perfectionistic parents, the development of similar traits in the child becomes almost inevitable. Additionally, gifted children, due to both their temperament and early life experiences, tend to exhibit more perfectionistic behaviors.
Moreover, sociocultural factors also play a significant role. In modern society, productivity, achievement, and the drive to be the best are constantly praised. Pervasive messages like “leave your comfort zone” dominate our surroundings. However, the comfort zone is not as unnecessary as it is often portrayed; in fact, it serves the critical function of providing safety—a prerequisite for growth and development. The societal pressure to constantly perform reinforces unhealthy perfectionistic schemas. Today’s social media-driven definitions of success have transformed life into a perpetual competition, akin to playing in the “Champions League” of personal achievement. Alongside these societal influences, individual personality traits play a crucial role. Those predisposed to anxiety or obsessive tendencies are particularly vulnerable to developing maladaptive forms of perfectionism.
How can I cope with perfectionism?
There are many strategies that can help regulate perfectionistic tendencies, and psychotherapy is among the most effective. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), self-compassion-focused therapies, and mindfulness- and acceptance-based approaches are especially effective in helping individuals make perfectionism more manageable. On a personal level, setting realistic goals, creating priority lists, and developing achievable expectations can also be beneficial. In addition, strengthening social support networks and practicing self-compassion may ease the burden.
Conclusion
Like many human traits, perfectionism can be beneficial when kept within healthy limits, but detrimental when taken to extremes. Reducing your exposure to societal pressure—such as taking a break from social media—can be an effective first step. Engaging in reading or learning about perfectionism may help increase your self-awareness. And awareness, after all, is the first step toward change. So why not start today by replacing your unrealistic expectations with more grounded, attainable ones? Who knows—it just might work. Isn’t it worth a try?
REFERENCES
Beck, A. T., Rush, A. J., Shaw, B. F., & Emery, G. (1979). Cognitive Therapy of Depression. New York: Guilford Press.
Corry, J., Green, M., Roberts, G., Frankland, A., Wright, A., Lau, P., et al. (2013). Anxiety, stress and perfectionism in bipolar disorder. Journal of Affective Disorders, 151, 1016–1024.
Frost, R. O., & Steketee, G. (1997). Perfectionism in obsessive-compulsive disorder patients. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 35, 291–296.
Gnilka, P. B., & Broda, M. D. (2019). Multidimensional perfectionism, depression, and anxiety: Tests of a social support mediation model. Personality and Individual Differences, 139, 295–300.
Hollander, M. H. (1965). Perfectionism. Comprehensive Psychiatry, 6, 94–103.
Jensen, S. N., Ivarsson, A., Fallby, J., Dankers, S., & Elbe, A. M. (2018). Depression in Danish and Swedish elite football players and its relation to perfectionism and anxiety. Psychology of Sport and Exercise, 36, 147–155.
Moretz, M. W., & McKay, D. (2009). The role of perfectionism in obsessive–compulsive symptoms: “Not just right” experiences and checking compulsions. Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 23, 640–644.
Newby, J., Pitura, V. A., Penney, A. M., Klein, R. G., Flett, G. L., & Hewitt, P. L. (2017). Neuroticism and perfectionism as predictors of social anxiety. Personality and Individual Differences, 106, 263–267.
Rivière, J., & Douilliez, C. (2017). Perfectionism, rumination, and gender are related to symptoms of eating disorders: A moderated mediation model. Personality and Individual Differences, 116, 63–68.gizem boo