The Formation of Trauma: Objective Reality or Individual Perception?
Let me begin this article with a childhood memory of someone I hold dear. During a long-awaited winter vacation with his family, he had a serious skiing accident and tore a tendon. The injury abruptly ended the trip, requiring an immediate return home for surgery. His recovery lasted several months, during which he used a wheelchair and crutches—even while attending school. Navigating daily life with limited mobility was extremely challenging.
Although the incident was painful and frustrating—especially for a young child—he was still eager to ski again the following year. On the other hand, just as some individuals who survive car accidents may develop a fear of driving, his injury could just as easily have led him to avoid skiing altogether. Trauma development and post-traumatic responses differ significantly from person to person. They are shaped by psychological resilience, nervous system sensitivity, and personal history.
Whether a distressing event becomes a traumatic experience largely depends on how the individual perceives and interprets it. For this reason, dismissing or exaggerating someone’s emotional reactions after a traumatic experience reflects a lack of empathy. In situations where social support is insufficient, the individual’s psychological health can rapidly deteriorate. We must recognize that what may seem trivial to one person could be deeply traumatic for another.
The Mind Stuck in the Past: When Defense Mechanisms Break Down
Have you ever forgotten the details of a memory but vividly remembered how it made you feel? Sounds, songs, or scents tied to traumatic moments are stored in somatic memory—the body’s memory system—and are often the hardest to forget.
It’s common to recall the emotions, background music, or even the perfume you wore during a traumatic event, even years later. However, repeatedly reliving the traumatic moment, obsessively thinking about it, and getting stuck in the same loop of thought—known as rumination—is an unhealthy coping mechanism. These repetitive, unresolved thoughts can emotionally drain a person.
As Dutch psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk explains in The Body Keeps the Score, “Trauma is the experience of the past as if it were the present.” In other words, trauma traps the mind in a cycle where the past continuously invades the now.
People unconsciously activate defense mechanisms when faced with psychological threats. Someone using denial may completely ignore the trauma. Another person might avoid anything that reminds them of the event—places, people, even certain words. These strategies are the mind’s way of avoiding emotional distress, but they rarely offer long-term solutions.
In more severe trauma, these mechanisms may collapse entirely, giving way to more primitive autonomic nervous system responses. These include freezing, dissociation, hypervigilance (e.g., flinching when touched), sudden emotional outbursts, or complete emotional numbness. The person may feel disconnected, emotionally frozen, or “not like themselves.”
Trauma also deeply affects belief systems. In cases involving violence or sexual abuse, survivors may internalize self-blame, believing they deserved the experience. These irrational beliefs often lead to self-punishment. However, no one ever deserves to be abused—under any circumstance.
Another false belief is that the world is inherently dangerous and unjust. While it’s valid to acknowledge pain, extending that pain into a generalized worldview is counterproductive. Accepting the complexity of life—where pain exists alongside goodness—helps replace harmful thinking with healthier thought patterns.
Trauma Can Be Healed: Where Does Recovery Begin?
The first step in trauma recovery is being open to receiving help. Healing is only possible when the person chooses to confront, rather than suppress, the trauma and the accompanying emotions.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is one of the most widely used and evidence-based methods for treating trauma. A core part of the therapy involves identifying and correcting cognitive distortions, such as the belief “I deserved this,” and replacing them with rational, healthy thoughts.
The re-enactment technique—where the traumatic moment is safely revisited in the mind—is used to desensitize the person to the memory and help them realize that the event is over. Throughout therapy, individuals work on replacing unhealthy defense mechanisms with healthy coping strategies, and increasing social support is crucial. In the absence of social connection, feelings of isolation grow, and trauma becomes harder to process.
Other effective treatment options include psychoanalytic therapy and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). In some cases, medication may help with anxiety or panic symptoms, though it’s not always required.
Ultimately, while we cannot undo the past, we can transform its impact on our present and future. Healing takes time, effort, and support—but it is absolutely possible.