Remember your first day at work.
The clothes you wore, the “everything will be fine” reassurance you gave yourself in the mirror, the excitement you felt when you entered the workplace… For most people, a new job begins with hope, a desire to prove themselves, and a feeling of “finally.” The first few days are usually warm. Smiling faces, welcome coffees, phrases like “tell me if you need anything”…
However, as time passes, an unseen face emerges in some workplaces. A silent, ambiguous face that slowly gnaws at one’s mind. At this point, most people do not immediately realize what they are experiencing. Because mobbing usually does not manifest itself through shouting or overt attacks; it progresses more through small touches, subtle messages, and covert behaviors (Einarsen et al., 2020).
What Is Mobbing And Why Is It Often Noticed So Late?
Mobbing is the systematic psychological pressure exerted on an employee (Leymann, 1996). The concept of “systematic” is crucial here. A single bad day or a single harsh criticism is not considered mobbing. Mobbing is a recurring, continuous process that damages an individual’s self-perception.
One of the most dangerous aspects of this process is that it turns the individual inward. The person often first finds themselves grappling with thoughts like:
“Maybe I misunderstood.”
“Maybe I should be more careful.”
“Maybe I’m not good enough.”
However, research shows that mobbing is often rooted in the need to establish power and control (Zapf & Einarsen, 2011). While the other party builds their own power, the victim unknowingly begins to take responsibility for what is happening. This is where psychological resilience starts to weaken.
Fake Smiles And Role-Playing In The Workplace
Just because everyone is smiling in the workplace does not mean everyone is well-intentioned. Professional environments are also spaces for role-playing. A smile is sometimes a strategy, not a sign of sincerity; avoiding conflict can serve the function of controlling or softening the other party (Kahn, 1990).
Young employees and recent graduates, in particular, struggle at this point. After university, the work environment operates with a very different dynamic. Here, functionality takes precedence over emotional closeness. This awareness makes the individual psychologically more protected, rather than cold.
Therefore, it is necessary to state clearly in the workplace: You do not have to share everything with everyone. Being sincere is one thing; maintaining boundaries is another.
Why Is The “Is The Problem With Me?” Thought So Common?
A significant portion of individuals subjected to mobbing tend to explain the situation primarily in terms of themselves. One of the underlying reasons for this is the individual’s unwillingness to lose their sense of control. The thought “Is the problem with me?” serves to make the situation seem changeable (Janoff-Bulman, 1992).
Furthermore, the difficulty of standing up to authority figures, the belief of being “inexperienced” at a young age, and the fear of losing one’s job can cause the individual to distort reality (Branch et al., 2013). Therefore, mobbing erodes self-confidence gradually, not all at once. Over time, the individual begins to question themselves more than their work.
This internalization process is one of the most damaging aspects of workplace mobbing, as it silently reshapes identity and self-worth.
Psychological Ways To Cope With Mobbing
The first step in coping with mobbing is to correctly name the situation. Being able to say, “This isn’t just my sensitivity,” reduces feelings of guilt (Einarsen & Nielsen, 2015).
Constant feelings of unease, anxiety, and worthlessness should not be ignored. It is important to proceed with clarity and boundaries, not with emotional reactions. Documenting what happens both preserves psychological reality and provides a sense of security to the individual. Research shows that social support is an important protective factor in reducing the psychological effects of mobbing (Hershcovis et al., 2007).
Seeking professional support when necessary is not a sign of weakness; it is an investment in one’s own psychological resilience.
Realistic Advice For University Graduates Starting New Jobs
While it is natural to try to get to know everyone in the first few months, it is not necessary to share everything with everyone. Maintaining the difference between work friendships and personal friendships is important for emotional stability.
Constantly trying to fit in can often create more burdens. Setting boundaries is not disrespectful; it is a professional skill.
If a work environment constantly makes an individual feel inadequate, guilty, and worthless, this may be an indicator of psychological pressure rather than development. At this point, trusting one’s own perception is critically important. Strengthening psychological resilience begins with taking one’s own inner signals seriously.
Conclusion
Workplaces are not only places where one earns a salary, but also environments where psychological resilience is tested. To stay there, one needs to protect oneself, not to please everyone.
Going to work should not mean leaving one’s personality behind. A smiling face may be a necessity, but giving up on oneself is not.