How many times have we caught ourselves saying ‘this isn’t something I usually would do’. ‘If it was the past version of me, it wouldn’t recognize itself.’ These phrases refer to a change. Change in the patterns, decisions, timelines and as a result our identities. An identity is one’s life story that is full of plots, setting details, scenes and characters (McAdams, 2001). And so, as pages flip by, we often find ourselves slightly different than a page before. Certain things are experienced, lessons are learnt, some we let go of and leave in the past and some we carry with ourselves. That what we leave behind are not the plots, events or people but also us. Circumstances that we found ourselves trapped in trying to find our ways out. People that we clung on. The pieces of ourselves that we have dropped along the way. Dropped, lost or purposefully left behind… Either way it is not only the external factors that blur along the way but also ourselves.
The Evolution Of Modified Identities
It is not that we lose ourselves rather our identities are constantly modified. As these pages of one’s life story roll by we often find ourselves wondering, lurking back, trying to grow, thrive and no matter what keep going. But how often do we catch ourselves turning back? Slightly, almost subtly turning our heads back trying to find those bits of ourselves that no longer served us, that we were forced to let go of in order to fit into the current realm What does it say about us as human beings? That we are volatile? Fragile? Adaptive. What feels like an ever-changing season where all we do is adapt is actually the creation of our versions that dissolve into the next: adjusting to fears, longings, and places that feel so unfamiliar.
The Paradox Of Being Rooted In Motion
Oftentimes while grieving the pieces lost on the way, we forget that even though the seasons do change, within us there remains a point of origin: the initial seed that was planted. No matter how many pieces are shed along the way, there is something stable deep within us. Somewhere beneath the new versions that evolved remains the most intrinsic, purest version of us that persists. Constant. Stable. The place we often go back to and find peace in. Isn’t this the paradox of being a human? In motion but rooted all at once. Yes, we are shaped by timelines, loses, settings, people, and still, there is a thread that ties every version of us, from the very start to the current one. The integration of past and present.
Transformation On The Life Continuum
Identities are parts of selves that reorganize themselves throughout relationships, life stages and circumstances. They are integrated parts of who we are shaped by memories, the meanings we make out of them and the way we narrate them. It is less about a definite self rather than multiple parts that adapt, integrate and coexist. The past versions that we thought were lost or those that we left behind become the modified present selves that are still learning the new ways. All the earlier versions remain embedded within the new ones. Essentially, identity represent transformation on the life continuum but the way we look at the change is the key to how we accept ourselves and that beyond us. If we view the change as a sorrowful goodbye, the adaptation feels harder. However, if we chose to open up space for the change to lead us to the new roads, that space will also hold space for who we were and who we are yet to become.