A Question Behind A Popular Discourse
In recent years, a similar sentiment is frequently echoed in parent-teacher meetings, school hallways, and social media debates: “Girls are so strong now, while boys are being raised like princesses.” This statement is sometimes uttered with anxiety, sometimes with criticism, and occasionally with a sense of nostalgic longing. There is a widespread belief that today’s youth has become more fragile—specifically, that boys avoid taking responsibility while girls mature at an earlier age.
However, does this observation truly point to a new social transformation, or is it a product of our tendency to remember the past as more balanced than it actually was? To answer this, we must look not only at today’s behaviors but also at historical continuity and the principles of psychological development.
In this discussion, the concepts of self-efficacy, helicopter parenting, and gender schema theory provide essential theoretical anchors.
Historical Continuity: The Invisible Resilience Of Women
While the claim that women have “strengthened” in recent years seems convincing at first glance, historical reality presents a more complex picture. In Turkey and many parts of the world, women have long carried the burden of both production and caregiving labor simultaneously. In rural life, the female figure who works in the field, deals with livestock, and assumes all household responsibilities is a common daily reality. A similar double burden can be found in migrant communities, post-war economies, or low-income families.
Women have been the pillars of not only emotional care but also economic sustainability. Therefore, the image of the “strong woman” is not a new character, but rather the late-recognized name of a long-existing reality. What has changed is not the power itself, but the symbolic value assigned to it.
Past Masculine Experience: Early Responsibility And Functional Autonomy
Similarly, men of previous generations followed a different developmental trajectory than today. Emotional expression was rarely given space, and vulnerability was often suppressed; however, the expectation of responsibility was clear. From a young age, boys were directed toward working, contributing to family businesses, and making independent decisions.
Although this rigid structure incurred many psychological costs, it supported the development of functional independence. In short, the old model was not ideal, but the experience of early responsibility strengthened the sense of individual competence. Perhaps what is longed for today is this sense of functionality.
Modern Parenting: Between Protection And Restriction
Today, especially in urban families, a child-centered parenting approach has become prevalent. There is a marked tendency to protect the child from hardship, prevent them from making mistakes, and increase their comfort. This approach, defined in the literature as helicopter parenting, may produce contradictory developmental results despite its good intentions.
According to Bandura’s (1997) Self-Efficacy Theory, individuals develop a sense of competence through direct experience. A child who is constantly intervened with is deprived of problem-solving practice. An individual who faces no difficulty cannot develop coping skills. Consequently, while safety increases, psychological resilience may decrease.
Psychological Consequences: Gender-Differentiated Burdens
This developmental limitation affects both genders, yet the outcomes may differ due to social expectations. In boys, the delay of responsibility, avoidance of decision-making, and external dependence are more frequently observed. In girls, early maturation, over-responsibility, and performance pressure stand out.
Seligman’s (1975) Learned Helplessness model shows that passivity increases in environments where the sense of control is weakened. Conversely, signs of burnout and anxiety increase in children raised under constant high expectations. Thus, avoidance emerges at one end and over-functioning at the other; in both cases, psychological well-being is compromised.
Global Comparisons: A Shared Generational Experience
This phenomenon is not unique to Turkey. In the United States, it is reported that young adults’ economic and emotional dependence on their parents is increasing, and the transition to independent living is being delayed. In East Asian countries, academic competition is linked to high stress and burnout, especially among female students. In Scandinavian societies, despite equality policies, loneliness and identity ambiguity are rising among the youth.
In Turkey, while strong family ties serve a protective function, they can also delay individualization. All these examples suggest that the issue is generational and developmental rather than merely cultural.
The Construction Of Perception: Social Learning And Societal Messages
Gender roles are products of social learning rather than biological destiny. Bem’s (1981) Gender Schema Theory proposes that children develop identities by observing which behaviors are rewarded.
Today, the frequent message to girls to “be strong, stand on your own two feet,” contrasted with the message to boys to “don’t get hurt, be protected, don’t rush,” creates an inverted balance in role perception. However, this shift is a differentiation of expectations rather than a true transfer of power.
Phrases like “princess boys” and “super women” are metaphors that oversimplify a complex social transformation.
Pursuing Balance, Not Power
In conclusion, it is misleading to conduct the debate based on which gender has become stronger. The true deciding factors are the extent to which children can take responsibility, the degree of autonomy they can develop, and whether they learn to cope with difficulties.
Resilience, self-efficacy, and psychological flexibility are essential for all children. Children need to be neither princesses nor heroes; what they need are opportunities to experience, to make mistakes, and to try again.
When we question the meanings we assign to roles rather than the changing roles themselves, it will be possible to raise a more balanced generation.
References
Bandura, A. (1997). Self-efficacy: The exercise of control. W. H. Freeman.
Bem, S. L. (1981). Gender schema theory: A cognitive account of sex typing. Psychological Review, 88(4), 354–364. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.88.4.354
Seligman, M. E. P. (1975). Helplessness: On depression, development, and death. W. H. Freeman.
Segrin, C., Woszidlo, A., Givertz, M., Bauer, A., & Murphy, M. T. (2013). The association between overparenting, parent–child communication, and entitlement and adaptive traits in adult children. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 32(6), 569–595. https://doi.org/10.1521/jscp.2013.32.6.569
Padilla-Walker, L. M., & Nelson, L. J. (2012). Black hawk down? Establishing helicopter parenting as a distinct construct from other forms of parental control during emerging adulthood. Journal of Adolescence, 35(5), 1177–1190. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.adolescence.2012.03.007