If phrases like “I can’t stop thinking about it,” “I’m tired of saying ‘if only,’” or “Why did I act that way?” sound familiar, it means you are caught in the cycle of mental rumination. Rumination refers to a repetitive focus on past events and negative emotions, where the mind continuously replays and reprocesses certain experiences.
The word originates from the Latin ruminare, meaning “to chew again.” Nolen-Hoeksema defines rumination as repeatedly thinking about one’s mood and its possible causes and consequences without taking action to solve the problem. Ruminative individuals are inclined not to resolve a problem but to mentally dwell on it. They often mistake thinking for problem-solving; however, this mental loop lacks genuine activation. Therefore, rumination can be described as a “mental activity that produces no solution.”
The Roots Of Rumination
In her book Takılı Kalan Zihin (The Mind That Gets Stuck), Esra Oras suggests that rumination often stems from early relational experiences. The way a person talks to themselves is often learned from how their parents once spoke to them. Children who grow up with parents who suppress, ignore, or constantly criticize emotions tend to internalize a similar tone in their own inner voice. Those raised by alexithymic parents struggle to recognize their emotions, while children of highly critical parents often grow into adults who relentlessly criticize themselves.
Emotional neglect is one of the strongest contributors to this cycle. When a parent dismisses, belittles, or suppresses a child’s emotions, the child retreats into their mind. Since they lack the skills to regulate emotions, they begin to rely on their thoughts as a means of self-regulation — thus turning the mind into an early refuge.
Similarly, anxious or overprotective parenting can have comparable effects. Such parents, in their effort to “protect,” convey the message that the world is a dangerous place. As a result, the child learns to anticipate future risks instead of staying in the present moment. Rumination thus becomes an internalized safety strategy.
Traumatic experiences further reinforce this pattern. As Gabor Maté states, “Trauma is a lasting disconnection or fragmentation within the self.” The traumatized person loses connection with the present moment and begins to live through the echoes of the past.
The Effects Of Rumination
One of the most significant consequences of rumination is the weakening of contact with the present. While the mind wanders through the past, the person loses touch with “now.” This increases both depressive and anxious symptoms. Believing they are problem-solving, the individual actually remains passive. Nolen-Hoeksema (2000) notes that this passivity is both a cause and a maintainer of depression.
Ruminative thinking also affects interpersonal relationships. Such individuals tend to communicate more with their own minds than with others — replacing genuine dialogue with internal monologue. This pattern erodes social connections and reduces emotional attunement (Lyubomirsky, 2001).
In the long term, rumination heightens stress hormone levels, weakens the immune system, and is even associated with somatic symptoms. Sleep disturbances, gastrointestinal issues, and cardiovascular problems can be the physiological reflections of this mental cycle.
Breaking Free From Rumination
The antidote to rumination is psychological flexibility. Psychological flexibility refers to the ability to accept one’s thoughts and emotions without suppression while maintaining a healthy distance from them (Hayes, 2012).
For instance, when a person faces a difficult situation, noticing that there are multiple ways to address it and being able to think in diverse ways represent cognitive flexibility; whereas accepting thoughts, staying with emotions, and remaining present correspond to psychological flexibility (Stevens, 2009; Hayes et al., 2010).
Psychological flexibility enables individuals to acknowledge and accept their inner experiences instead of avoiding them, fostering a more balanced and adaptive mental state.
Having a companion who can create space for you and your emotions can also be highly beneficial in this process. At this point, mindfulness-based therapies support individuals in recognizing the patterns of rumination and stepping out of them by cultivating contemplative awareness.
Mindfulness helps individuals notice their negative thoughts without identifying with them. Thus, one learns to observe their thoughts without judgment and to reconnect with the present moment, releasing the weight of the past. This process not only reduces the negative effects of rumination but also promotes a deeper, more balanced, and meaningful mental state through contemplation.
For individuals prone to rumination, cultivating contemplative skills can serve as a mental prescription that encourages more constructive and flexible ways of thinking. Cognitive Behavioral Therapies (CBT) and mindfulness-based approaches, as an extension of contemplation, offer effective tools for both reducing rumination and strengthening reflective awareness.
Contemplation helps individuals challenge negative thought patterns, recognize cognitive distortions, and develop a more realistic and balanced perspective. It also increases self-awareness regarding one’s thoughts and emotions, fostering a more compassionate and accepting mindset (Creswell et al., 2007, p. 562).
A Gentle Reminder
If you become too attached to your mind, you can no longer hear the voice of your heart — and that is like losing your way in a dark forest. Rather than suppressing our emotions, let us embrace them, learn to stay present and in harmony, and never withhold compassion from ourselves.
References
Aka, M. (2024). Zihinsel Yankıların İki Yüzü: Tefekkür ve Ruminasyon Arasındaki Çizgi. İnsan ve Toplum Bilimleri Araştırmaları Dergisi, 13(5), 2214–2236.
Aslan, Ş., & Turk, F. (2022). Bilişsel esneklik ve psikolojik esneklik kavramlarının karşılaştırılması. Psikiyatride Güncel Yaklaşımlar, 14(1), 119–130.
Bugay, A., & Erdur-Baker, Ö. (2011). Ruminasyon düzeyinin toplumsal cinsiyet ve yaşa göre incelenmesi. Turkish Psychological Counseling and Guidance Journal, 4(36), 191–199.
Önder, F. C., & Utkan, Ç. (2018). Bilinçli farkındalık ve algılanan stres ilişkisinde ruminasyon ve olumsuz duygu düzenlemenin aracı rolü. Mersin Üniversitesi Eğitim Fakültesi Dergisi, 14(3), 1004–1019.*