Insecurity, self-confidence, and self-compassion are deeply intertwined in the way a person relates to themselves. Insecurity, to me, is one of the greatest yet quietest forms of disrespect a person can inflict upon themselves. It is quiet because most of the time it goes unnoticed, unnamed, and eventually becomes normalized. No one consciously chooses to belittle themselves or to stay in the background. No one wakes up one morning and says, “From today on, I will not trust myself.” Rather, this state develops slowly, step by step, often without awareness.
When a person fails to see their own potential, they begin to internalize what others say, imply, expect—and sometimes even what is conveyed through a mere glance. At first, these voices come from the outside; over time, they transform into the person’s inner voice. And at some point, often without realizing it, the person retreats into their own shell.
How Insecurity Spreads Into Every Area Of Life
This withdrawal is not limited to a single area of life. Insecurity is not merely a problem experienced at work or a temporary difficulty in social relationships. On the contrary, it seeps into every aspect of life.
As a person feels increasingly inadequate, making decisions becomes harder, taking risks is avoided, and constant self-comparison with others begins. In relationships, one may either over-adapt or withdraw completely. The joy taken from life gradually diminishes. Thoughts such as “I can’t do this anyway,” “Nothing will come of me,” or “I’m not enough” circulate endlessly in the mind, slowly eroding the relationship one has with oneself.
Change Begins Quietly
Yet breaking free from this cycle rarely happens through dramatic turning points or major transformations, as is often assumed. Change usually begins with small, quiet steps. First, a person needs to pause and look at their own life a little more closely.
Noticing small positive moments is one of the most fundamental building blocks of self-confidence. Sometimes it is a moment when you help someone, sometimes a sincere word spoken to you, or sometimes a good action you take without even realizing it. These moments may seem small and often pass by quickly. Yet self-confidence is formed precisely through the accumulation of these moments.
As a person begins to notice them, their belief in themselves quietly starts to recover. Change is quiet; it is not flashy, but it is real.
The Humanity Of Inner Struggle
Every individual has their own struggle in life. How strong, capable, or balanced we appear from the outside often does not reflect the truth. At times, when a person is left alone with their thoughts and emotions, they feel exhausted, trapped, and unable to find a way out.
Experiencing such moments is not a sign of weakness. On the contrary, it is one of the most genuine aspects of being human. No one’s life progresses along a constantly strong, controlled, and problem-free path. Even those who appear strong experience silent inner storms during moments of difficulty.
It is precisely at these moments that being a little more honest with oneself becomes important. Suppressing emotions, ignoring them, or postponing them by saying “it will pass” may seem helpful in the short term, but in the long run, it creates a heavier burden. Suppressed emotions do not disappear; they merely sink deeper.
Negative thoughts cannot be completely removed from life; however, the relationship one has with them can change. As a person realizes this, they begin to look at themselves from a more compassionate place.
Disappointment, Boundaries, And Rediscovery
Life is also filled with disappointments. Sometimes we make mistakes; sometimes we feel inadequate. At other times, we are hurt by unexpected behaviors from people we never anticipated. This person may be a family member, a trusted friend, or a partner. In such situations, the emotional impact runs deep.
When a person realizes that the relationship they constructed in their mind does not align with what they experience in reality, an inner exhaustion follows. This confrontation is not easy; yet it often creates space for the person to rediscover themselves and recognize their boundaries.
Distrust In A Changing World
In recent years, it has become increasingly evident that such experiences are more common. People find it harder to trust one another; they become more cautious, more distant, and more alone. When we think back to ten or fifteen years ago, there was a time when greeting one another on the street, smiling, and offering help felt more natural. Today, however, people struggle to trust not only others but themselves as well.
This state of distrust isolates people. Individuals hesitate even when initiating communication or offering a simple smile. Yet humans are beings who grow stronger through connection.
Returning To The Self
Perhaps the real issue lies in how honest one can be with oneself. While trying to appear strong, we often fail to notice what we suppress; while saying “I’m managing,” we overlook what we are actually carrying.
This is where self-confidence truly breaks—when a person distances themselves from their own inner world. When one begins to draw closer to oneself, not everything suddenly falls into place, but something slowly starts to settle.
When a person stops silencing themselves, the world becomes less noisy.