In today’s world, time moves rapidly, and we live our lives as if we are in constant competition with it. The concept of “waiting” seems to be disappearing from our lives, and we may observe that our tolerance for it is gradually diminishing. We can shop within seconds and access the information we seek almost instantly. Technology accelerates the pace of our lives and, even if we do not directly notice it, shapes our expectations about life.
The desire to “reach it immediately” may make a person feel powerful, efficient, and fast; however, internally, one may be filled with feelings of urgency and impatience. From a psychological perspective, this tendency can be associated with the rapid activation of the brain’s reward system and its increasing pursuit of immediate gratification. When we say, “I must reach it immediately,” how does this shape our perspective toward ourselves and life? Let us explore this question in more depth.
Where Is The Journey Itself?
When we say, “Let me reach it immediately,” we entirely overlook the path leading to the goal. But can the end of a road truly be perceived without experiencing the road itself? Perhaps it can be seen momentarily, yet such a perception is unlikely to be long-lasting or deeply internalized. It becomes a fleeting sense of “I achieved it.” The lifespan of this feeling is often short.
Consequently, once we reach one outcome, we quickly begin to desire another. Within this cycle, genuine satisfaction remains elusive, and we may find ourselves trapped in a persistent sense of insufficiency.
Remaining engaged in the path toward a goal allows us to stay present in the process orientation and to build more solid foundations. The concept of effort is closely connected to this theme. I would like to support this idea with a brief cultural reference: in the well-known Turkish film Selvi Boylum Al Yazmalım, Türkan Şoray’s memorable line, “What was love? Love was effort,” emphasizes the value of investing effort. Effort is the journey itself. It is the very element that carries us forward and adds meaning and value to the destination we seek.
The moment we insist on reaching something immediately, we often become unwilling to invest effort; we want the result without exertion. In the current era, we seem to have adopted the belief that “less effort means saving more time,” and this perspective appears almost inevitable. As a result, we risk devaluing the present moment, constantly striving to move beyond where we are instead of inhabiting it fully.
What About Our Relationship With Ourselves?
When we carry the expectation of “reaching a result immediately,” our expectations of ourselves begin to take the same shape. Our tolerance toward ourselves may decrease, and we may notice shifts in the tone of our inner dialogue. If our inner voice frequently uses statements such as:
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“Why am I not progressing faster?”
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“How much longer will I have to wait?”
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“I must achieve results quickly.”
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“If I do not get results fast, I might be a failure.”
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“If I cannot achieve quick results, I am weak.”
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“If I cannot reach the outcome rapidly, I am incapable.”
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“I must solve this problem immediately; if I cannot, it means I have failed.”
—we may be under the influence of this urgency-driven mindset.
At the same time, these thoughts reveal that our minds have become accustomed to being nourished by outcomes rather than processes. When we remain motivated solely by the desire for immediate results, we begin to struggle to recognize the gains we achieve along the way and the steps we have already taken. As a consequence, we may tell ourselves, “You have not reached the outcome; therefore, you have not taken any steps,” which reflects a dismissal of our actual progress.
In this context, the all-or-nothing thinking mindset may become activated. Like a demanding parent, we may ask for more from ourselves before acknowledging and appreciating what we have already accomplished.
Moreover, when we insist on immediate results, we may realize that our tolerance for uncertainty has diminished. Yet uncertainty exists in every aspect of life and in every moment. An inability to tolerate uncertainty often translates into difficulty navigating the natural flow of life. Psychological resilience includes the capacity to wait, to endure uncertainty, and to try again even when the desired outcome has not yet been achieved. When we begin to feel safe within uncertainty, we may become more willing to remain in the process and to appreciate its inherent value.
Conclusion
The thought “I must reach it immediately” reflects a collective mindset of our era. Without recognizing the transformative power of the process, we focus solely on outcomes. Being outcome-oriented may enhance motivation in the short term; however, in the long term, it can become exhausting.
The moment we set out on a journey, we wish to be instantly transported to our destination. To draw an analogy, it is as though we continue eating without allowing ourselves the time to digest—there is no pause, only continuation. Yet without pausing, we cannot take root; we cannot remain present. Instead, we move restlessly from one result to another.
May this article serve as a gentle reminder to pause, to breathe, and to value the process you are currently in.
May you remain present—in the moment, in the process—with love and with effort.