Introduction
How do you feel when you learn that someone close to you has experienced a failure? Sadness, empathy, and the desire to offer support are among the expected responses. However, sometimes another feeling may accompany these emotions, one that we may find difficult to acknowledge: a sense of relief arising from the realization that our own situation is comparatively better. The indirect satisfaction we experience in response to another person’s misfortune reflects the complexity of human emotions.
In psychology, this phenomenon is known as **schadenfreude**, a term that describes the pleasure or satisfaction experienced in response to another person’s misfortune. This feeling does not necessarily mean that an individual consciously wishes for another person to suffer. Sometimes, the failure of someone in our social circle can temporarily alleviate our own feelings of inadequacy. Under what circumstances, then, can another person’s loss feel like our own gain?
Social Comparison and the Relationship with Self-Worth
When evaluating themselves, people do not rely solely on personal standards; they may also consider the achievements, characteristics, and life circumstances of those around them. Festinger’s (1954) social comparison theory suggests that individuals evaluate their own opinions and abilities by comparing themselves with others.
These comparisons do not always lead to negative outcomes. Another person’s success can be inspiring, help us establish new goals, or create opportunities for learning. However, when comparison is perceived as a threat to one’s self-worth, it may also give rise to feelings of envy, inadequacy, and competition.
When we frequently evaluate ourselves in relation to other people’s achievements, their accomplishments may begin to feel like indicators of our own worth. In such situations, the failure of someone who previously made us feel inferior may create the perception that the gap between us has narrowed. Even when our own circumstances remain unchanged, we may feel relatively better about ourselves. This relief may be associated less with actual personal progress than with a change in the outcome of the comparison.
From Envy to Pleasure in Another Person’s Misfortune
Although envy and schadenfreude may be related, they do not describe the same emotion. Envy is associated with a sense of lacking something that another person possesses, such as a particular quality, achievement, or opportunity. Schadenfreude, on the other hand, refers to the satisfaction experienced when that person encounters an adverse situation.
The meta-analysis conducted by Lange et al. (2018) examined different forms of envy and their relationship with emotional responses to another person’s misfortune. The researchers demonstrated that envy cannot be understood as a single, uniform emotion and that individuals may differ in their attitudes toward what others possess. In this respect, seeking inspiration from another person and striving for self-improvement differ from wishing that person would lose what they have.
Similarly, van Dijk et al. (2006) demonstrated that pleasure in another person’s misfortune may emerge particularly when the individual experiencing the misfortune is someone with whom the observer compares themselves. These findings suggest that this emotion may be associated not only with what happens to another person but also with the significance that person holds for us.
For example, consider two colleagues being considered for the same position at work. Seeing one colleague receive recognition may cause the other to feel inadequate or left behind. If the favored colleague subsequently makes a mistake, the other person may experience a brief sense of relief. This relief may arise not because their own performance has improved, but because they perceive the other person’s advantage as having diminished. Nevertheless, this reaction is not universal. A person may simultaneously feel sorry for their colleague’s difficulties and experience some relief regarding their own position.
What Can This Emotion Tell Us?
Feeling relieved when others fail is not, by itself, sufficient grounds for making definitive judgments about our character. What matters is recognizing the circumstances in which this emotion arises and understanding how it influences our behavior.
If another person’s loss makes us feel relieved, we can ask ourselves several questions: Why do I measure my own success against someone else’s? What feelings of inadequacy does this person’s progress trigger in me? Has their misfortune genuinely changed my circumstances, or has it merely affected how I evaluate myself?
These questions can help foster self-awareness rather than guilt. Completely eliminating social comparison may be unrealistic; however, we can examine whether we allow these comparisons to determine our sense of self-worth. Remembering that another person’s success does not constitute our failure, and that their loss is not necessarily our gain, is important in this process.
Conclusion
The satisfaction experienced in response to another person’s misfortune is an emotion that often remains unspoken in human relationships. Social comparison, envy, and perceptions of self-worth help us understand the circumstances under which this emotion may arise. Nevertheless, it is not appropriate to draw definitive conclusions about a person’s intentions or personality based on a single reaction.
Psychological awareness develops not only through attempts to understand other people’s behavior but also through recognizing the conflicting emotions within ourselves. When we notice that another person’s loss brings us relief, the essential question is not whether this feeling makes us a good or bad person. Rather, it is how we can establish our own sense of worth without needing others to experience loss.
Kaynakça
- Festinger, L. (1954). A theory of social comparison processes. Human Relations, 7(2), 117–140. https://doi.org/10.1177/001872675400700202
- Lange, J., Weidman, A. C., & Crusius, J. (2018). The painful duality of envy: Evidence for an integrative theory and a meta-analysis on the relation of envy and schadenfreude. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 114(4), 572–598. https://doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000118 van Dijk, W. W., Ouwerkerk, J. W., Goslinga, S., Nieweg, M., & Gallucci, M. (2006). When people fall from grace: Reconsidering the role of envy in Schadenfreude. Emotion, 6(1), 156–160. https://doi.org/10.1037/1528-3542.6.1.156