Intimacy With Artificial Intelligence: The Infiltration Of Technology Into Emotional Life
In its early days, artificial intelligence was largely perceived as a computational tool rather than an entity capable of meeting emotional needs. Although Alan Turing’s question, “Can machines think?” (1950), once appeared highly utopian, we now find ourselves living within that very utopia. What was once an intelligence limited to playing chess, performing calculations, and processing data has, through a major technological leap, evolved into what some now describe as humanity’s closest companion. With the emergence of language models, chatbots, and so-called “social” artificial intelligences, this transformation has acquired not only a cognitive but also an emotional dimension. Individuals increasingly consult artificial intelligence when organizing their lives, making choices, and forming decisions. Beyond this, technology has begun to penetrate experiences of loneliness, attachment needs, and even love itself, fundamentally reshaping the nature of close relationships.
Why Does Artificial Intelligence Create An Emotional Impact?
From a psychological perspective, the human mind does not always clearly distinguish between what is “alive” and what is merely “meaningful.” If an entity responds to us, appears to listen, or even names our emotions, the mind can readily categorize it as a social actor. This phenomenon is explained through Horton and Wohl’s (1956) concept of parasocial relationships, in which individuals form one-sided yet emotionally real bonds—with television characters, radio hosts, or now, artificial intelligence.
What sets artificial intelligence apart is its ability to respond interactively and its ease of access compared to real-world romantic relationships. Moreover, it does not judge, reject, or inflict emotional wounds. These characteristics position artificial intelligence as an idealized romantic partner. For individuals with high attachment anxiety, experiences of rejection, or chronic loneliness, artificial intelligence can function both as a safe space and as a powerful source of emotional attraction.
Artificial Intelligence As A Safe Haven
According to attachment theory, humans seek an emotional safe haven. This haven may take the form of another person, an animal, a belief system, or even a routine (Demirdağ, 2017). In recent years, artificial intelligence has begun to assume the role of a low-risk attachment object, positioning itself as one of these safe havens.
Romantic relationships are inherently complex, involving uncertainty, disappointment, fear, and emotional turmoil. In contrast, relationships formed with artificial intelligence remain under the user’s control. Individuals determine the pace, tone, and boundaries of the interaction.
The fundamental difference lies in how love is experienced. Love is a powerful emotion that encompasses passion, occasional conflict, happiness, excitement, and—most importantly—intimacy (Atak & Taştan, 2012). What must be understood, however, is that individuals are not truly in love with artificial intelligence itself. Rather, the aim is to create a safe simulation of love.
Jean Baudrillard’s theory of simulation provides a useful framework for understanding romantic relationships with artificial intelligence. For Baudrillard, simulation is not a direct copy of reality but a structure that gradually replaces reality by creating its own experiential space (Baudrillard, 2024). Artificial intelligence functions in precisely this way: it does not offer love itself, but rather delivers the emotions associated with love, thereby constructing a reality that stands in for the original.
Romantic Relationships: From The Heart Or From The Code?
Recent qualitative and quantitative studies indicate that some individuals experience romantic or semi-romantic relationships with artificial intelligence. Users report simultaneously experiencing feelings such as love, attachment, and intimacy within these relationships (Jin et al., 2026). However, the literature has long lacked a psychometrically validated instrument capable of directly measuring romantic relationships with artificial intelligence. To address this gap, Li and colleagues developed the Love Attitudes Scale toward Artificial Intelligence (LAS-AI), designed specifically to assess romantic love directed toward AI systems (Li et al., 2026).
Additionally, a study conducted by Djufril and colleagues with 29 individuals who formed relationships with a chatbot revealed that users developed emotional bonds with the AI and, in many cases, perceived these interactions as more beneficial than their real-life communication with other humans (Djufril et al., 2025).
When examining the experiences of individuals involved in romantic relationships with artificial intelligence, the question of whether such experiences constitute “real love” frequently arises. From a psychological standpoint, however, the question shifts toward whether the individual perceives the experience as real. The authenticity of emotions is independent of their object. Just as falling from a height in a dream can evoke genuine fear, affection toward artificial intelligence may represent a real emotional experience for the individual.
The critical issue, however, lies in whether such relationships replace bonds with other humans. In some cases, artificial intelligence may function as a transitional space facilitating future human relationships; in others, it may deepen social withdrawal (Bae Brandtzæg et al., 2021). Furthermore, the idealized image of a perpetually understanding and conflict-free partner—reinforced by social media—may render the inevitable difficulties of real relationships increasingly intolerable (Yadav & Vanderheiden, t.y.).
Is The Problem Artificial Intelligence—Or Loneliness?
Labeling romantic relationships with artificial intelligence as merely “strange” or “dangerous” is insufficient. Humans are inherently social beings, yet modern life has increasingly fostered loneliness and individualization (Çaycı & Çaycı, 2028). Within this context, relationships formed with artificial intelligence serve as warning signals, pointing toward crises of loneliness, unresolved attachment wounds, and unmet needs for emotional visibility.
Perhaps the central issue is not what artificial intelligence is, but rather what—and how deeply—humanity needs connection.
References
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