Modern male-female relationships are beginning to change from the patriarchal order of the past. Women are now expected to stand on their own two feet just as much as men, and the social pressures placed on them are slowly beginning to lift. This change has not only impacted the dynamics of male-female relationships but has also led to a crisis of masculinity, a topic much discussed worldwide today. So, what is meant by the crisis of masculinity and what can be done about it? This article will address these points.
1. Being A Man Isn’t A Profitable Situation; On The Contrary, It’s A Necessity
Perhaps for the first time, unlike in the past, couples are choosing to have daughters rather than sons. Did you know, for example, that fully 80% of couples in America want a daughter (Jasmeet Sidhu, 2012)? Even when adopting a child, they are willing to pay an additional $16,000 just because the child is a girl (Lori Oliwenstein, 2010).
While pre-adolescent suicide rates are equal between genders, after adolescence the rate between genders widens, increasing six to sevenfold, especially between the ages of 20 and 24 (Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, 2009). Considering that suicide now kills more people worldwide than war, natural disasters, and homicide combined, the disparity between male and female suicides becomes even more significant when viewed from the outside.
In fact, in India, the suicide rate for men is nine times higher than for women (Deepika Bhardwaj, 2015). A statistical study conducted in twenty countries found that being male is now considered the most lethal demographic factor (Betsy Mason, 2002).
The dynamic shift between men and women has also dramatically reduced men’s education and earnings averages in recent years. Among our youth, the 22% difference between men and women earning a college degree has shifted from a 22% difference favoring men to a 22% difference favoring women in just one generation (NCES, 2009). Over the past half-century or so, men’s average annual earnings have fallen by 26% (David Wessel, 2010).
What would you say if I told you that only three cities in America have young men earning the same or more than their female counterparts (Belinda Luscombe, 2010)? I want to point out that the gender pay gap between men and women in these subcategories has widened over time, and none of the studies or articles I cited were published within the last 15 years.
2. Why Is This Crisis So Silent?
Today’s crisis of masculinity is unfolding silently under the pressure of culturally hegemonic masculine norms such as “being strong,” “being unemotional,” and “taking care of your own business” (Connell, 1995; Connell & Messerschmidt, 2005). Because these norms make it difficult for men to express their vulnerabilities, many men keep their emotional experiences private without sharing them.
For women, emotional solidarity is more pronounced. Women are significantly more likely than men to seek emotional support from family and friends (Goddard I. & Parker K., 2025). This difference suggests that women more frequently assume the role of a “mirror-holding other” for each other, contributing to the emotional regulation function of social relationships. Current findings also confirm that women have a statistically significant advantage over men in such support-seeking behaviors.
There are, of course, many reasons underlying this muted response to the crisis of masculinity. But perhaps the most striking reason is that such a crisis has not been experienced before in history. While human history has experienced a male shortage due to war-like situations, it has not experienced a crisis in the values encompassed under the banner of masculinity. Therefore, we lack a historical reference. This leaves us uncertain about where to focus our efforts and investments in collecting more statistical data and finding solutions.
3. What Can Be Done About The Masculinity Crisis?
One of the most important reasons for the growing masculinity crisis is that men have been socialized to consider emotional isolation as normal and expected behavior (Connell, 1995; Connell & Messerschmidt, 2005). While the social system presents men with the ideal of “self-sufficiency,” it actually creates a cycle of loneliness that draws them inward.
However, research shows that social support and secure emotional relationships are decisive in maintaining men’s mental health. For example, men with strong social connections have been reported to have significantly lower rates of depression and suicidal ideation (Mahalik et al., 2022). This finding suggests that one of the most important interventions for the masculinity crisis is to expand their spheres of emotional support.
Transforming social norms requires restructuring not only the individual but also the culture. Therefore, developing a new language for men’s emotional lives is crucial. Therapeutic and preventive mental health programs worldwide are developing approaches that aim to empower men to view seeking support as a life skill rather than a weakness (Real, 2002). Integrating emotional literacy into education at an early age can enable boys to more confidently “mirror” both themselves and others. Research confirms that anger expression and behavioral problems are significantly reduced in boys who learn to express their emotions.
Conclusion
A look at psychoanalytic perspectives reveals the historical backdrop to the modern crisis of masculinity. As Freud emphasized in the early 20th century, in a patriarchal order characterized by rigidly defined gender roles, women were often forced to sacrifice their individuality to the role of motherhood, while men struggled to develop self-expression other than the role of father. Freud’s insights into the relationship between repression and neurosis are still insightful in understanding the psychological consequences of emotional inhibition observed in men today (Freud, 1915).
Furthermore, Mary Wollstonecraft, a pioneer of feminist thought, argued that women’s empowerment in social life would benefit not only women but also men, emphasizing that inequality between the two sides was a loss for society as a whole. Wollstonecraft’s insights indicate that identity depends not only on biological sex but also on the negotiability of social roles.
The crisis of masculinity we face today, rather than a scenario of destruction, represents a threshold for redefining masculinity. The visibility of the crisis also means the potential for solutions. The fundamental determinant in healing gender relations is the quality of the relationships people form with each other. The future is determined not by knowledge, but by the power of relational bonds.
Overcoming the crisis of silent masculinity is possible by increasing men’s capacity to hear themselves and others. Therefore, the responsibility for change lies with both the individual and society. When this transformation is implemented, masculinity will be rebuilt, and emotional resilience will no longer be the foundation of silent destruction, but of clear healing.
References
Betsy Mason. (2002). Men Die Young – Even If Old. New Scientist.
Belinda Luscombe. (2010). Workplace Salaries: At Last, Women on Top. Time.
Connell, R. W., & Messerschmidt, J. W. (2005). Hegemonic Masculinity: Rethinking the Concept. Gender & Society, 19(6), 829–859.
David Wessel. (2010). Meet the Unemployed Man. Wall Street Journal.
Freud, S. (1915). The Unconscious. Hogarth Press.
Goddard, I., & Parker, K. (2025). Where Men and Women Turn for Emotional Support. Pew Research Center.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2009). Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, 58(1).
Holter, Ø. G. (1996). Review of Masculinities. Acta Sociologica, 39(3), 337–341.
Jasmeet Sidhu. (2012). How to Buy a Daughter. Slate.
Lori Oliwenstein. (2010). Adoption and Gender Preference. Caltech.
Mahalik, J., Di Bianca, M., & Harris, M. (2022). Conformity to Masculine Norms. Psychology of Men & Masculinities.
NCES. (2009). Condition of Education.
Real, T. (1998). I Don’t Want to Talk About It. Scribner.