Being a social being naturally leads us to compare ourselves to others. However, this constant social comparison and the individual’s self-esteem based on the achievements of others can become a psychologically exhausting cycle. Especially in the age of social media, individuals are more likely to see only the “bright” aspects of others’ lives, leaving them feeling inadequate and lacking in their own lives (Vogel, Rose, Roberts, & Eckles, 2014). This article will examine the psychological underpinnings of jealousy and constant social comparison behavior, their negative effects on the individual, and ways to escape this cycle.
Social Comparison Theory and Jealousy
In social psychology, Festinger’s (1954) social comparison theory posits that individuals tend to compare themselves to others to understand their own performance and worth. When these comparisons are “upwardly oriented,” meaning they compare themselves to those who are more successful or better off, feelings such as jealousy, inadequacy, and loss of self-esteem can arise (Smith & Kim, 2007).
Envy is fundamentally linked to a sense of anxiety and threat. The individual perceives another’s success as a threat to their own identity. For example, a student who sees a friend’s academic success may forget their own potential and conclude, “I’m a failure.” In this situation, even if the success is not objectively measured, the individual feels less valuable.
The Rise of Jealousy in the Social Media Age
Social media platforms have created an environment that perpetuates social comparison. Users regularly see others’ work, relationships, travel, or financial successes. However, this content often reflects only the positive aspects of individuals’ lives. This leads individuals to compare their own daily challenges with someone else’s “polished” life (Appel, Gerlach, & Crusius, 2016). Research shows that increased social media use can increase symptoms of jealousy, loneliness, and depression (Krasnova, Widjaja, Buxmann, Wenninger, & Benbasat, 2013).
Psychological Effects: The Cycle of Inadequacy
As this cycle repeats, the individual’s self-esteem is damaged and their ability to see their own success diminishes. As a result, instead of fulfilling their potential, the individual constantly runs on the “racetrack” set by others (van de Ven, Zeelenberg, & Pieters, 2009).
Cultural Dimensions
Comparison and envy also vary depending on cultural context. In competitive and individualistic societies, success is measured more by individual merit, so envy may be experienced more intensely. In collectivist cultures, envy is associated with concerns about the individual’s position within the community (Rodriguez Mosquera, Tan, & Saleem, 2018). In cultures like Turkey, where both individualistic and communitarian values coexist, the effects of envy may be more complex.
Ways Out: Finding Your Own Competition
It may not be possible to completely eliminate jealousy and constant social comparison behavior, as this tendency is part of human nature. However, it is possible to manage this cycle and reduce its psychological toll. First, it is important for individuals to develop awareness: to recognize that extrapolating only the visible aspects of others’ lives is misleading.
Second, a healthier strategy is to define one’s own values and goals, comparing oneself not with others but with “oneself from yesterday” (Lyubomirsky & Ross, 1997). Furthermore, it is possible to restructure individuals’ negative automatic thoughts through cognitive-behavioral techniques in psychotherapy.
What’s important from a psychological perspective is to encourage individuals to define their self-esteem not based on the achievements of others, but rather on their own inner potential and developmental process. True competition lies not with others, but with the individual’s own life journey. When this perspective is embraced, jealousy can cease to be a destructive emotion and become a warning signal for personal growth.
Source
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Appel, H., Gerlach, A. L., & Crusius, J. (2016). The interplay between Facebook use, social comparison, envy, and depression. Current Opinion in Psychology, 9, 44–49.
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Festinger, L. (1954). A theory of social comparison processes. Human Relations, 7(2), 117–140.
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Krasnova, H., Widjaja, T., Buxmann, P., Wenninger, H., & Benbasat, I. (2013). Why following friends can hurt: Social comparison and envy on social network sites. Information Systems Research, 24(3), 682–698.
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Lyubomirsky, S., & Ross, L. (1997). Hedonic consequences of social comparison: A contrast of happy and unhappy people. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 73(6), 1141–1157.
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Smith, R. H., & Kim, S. H. (2007). Comprehending envy. Psychological Bulletin, 133(1), 46–64.
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van de Ven, N., Zeelenberg, M., & Pieters, R. (2009). Leveling up and down: The experiences of benign and malicious envy. Emotion, 9(3), 419–429.
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Vogel, E. A., Rose, J. P., Roberts, L. R., & Eckles, K. (2014). Social comparison, social media, and self-esteem. Psychology of Popular Media Culture, 3(4), 206–222.
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Rodríguez Mosquera, P. M., Tan, L., & Saleem, F. (2018). The psychology of envy: Cultural context. Emotion Review, 10(4), 330–340.