We see many people influenced by social media; some have published books, some have become wealthy, some have gained fame… They all tell us that we need to be more productive, more successful, calmer, more charismatic, more influential.
What about you? Are you still comparing yourself to “more successful” people? Perhaps you strive every day to be more successful, to be better. Just like those people you see.
Is becoming better achieved through books, seminars, podcasts, morning routines, and meditation apps? Is being good measured by the standards set by society and social media? Does this endless race truly benefit us?
The Aesthetics of ‘Self-Improvement’ on Social Media
There are countless success stories circulating on social media. They tell people, ‘If I can do it, so can you.’ But is everyone the same? Perhaps your financial situation may be the same, but your personal characteristics or mental state may differ.
Comparing yourself to others is not appropriate in this case, because everyone has their own unique perspective and life. The path to success is not singular. Another question comes to mind: Is the ‘success’ presented on social media real? As with everything else, real examples can be found, but accepting everything we see on social media as real can be misleading. In a social media environment where it has become so easy to deceive people, you may find that the people you describe as successful have entirely different realities behind them. Therefore, it is debatable how appropriate it is to take these people as a role model.
The Price of Self-Improvement
Always strive to be better, work harder, be more productive. We hear and see these phrases frequently. These conversations are prevalent in our lives. However, this intense pressure to “improve oneself” often creates a feeling of inadequacy in individuals. It leads to dissatisfaction and perfectionism.
You may start to feel inadequate whenever you see someone who has achieved more than you in a particular area. As a result, you may find yourself not only striving to be productive or successful but also having to carry the stress created by this pressure. The result is social media burnout rather than real growth. In other words, these inspirational messages can have the opposite effect over time. The phrase “you can do it” becomes “why cannot I do it?”
This sense of inadequacy does not just affect self-compassion and self-confidence. It also affects your outlook on life. The life, home, or job that once brought you joy and satisfaction can begin to feel deficient. While dreaming of something better, what you already have can lose its meaning, leaving you feeling dissatisfied instead of motivated. Therefore, it is crucial that we do not distance ourselves from who we are on the path to growth, but instead ground our self-worth not only in success but also in our very existence.
Becoming Better
“Becoming better is an effort to improve one’s quality of life by developing one’s current potential” (Ryff, 1989). We always strive to be better, but we don’t think about what being better means. We set higher goals for ourselves, but we don’t consider whether these goals will make us “better.” What is the standard of goodness we set for ourselves? Or what is goodness?
We can find many different and similar answers to this question. The same answers may come from the perspective of society or by chance, but the differences in answers may reflect the qualities that distinguish us. If we use others’ standards or goals, we may end up on a path that is not suitable for us. The success you expect to be better may end in disappointment. Even if you achieve those goals, you may not be happy in the end.
Perhaps the goal you need to develop or achieve is not that goal. Even if you develop in that aspect, it may hold you back in some ways. It may lead you to unwanted places. That’s why you should think about the consequences when setting goals. Most importantly, you should first understand yourself. Development should be personal. Development should add something to you, not take something away. True personal development should give you energy, meaning, and satisfaction; if it wears you down, consumes you, or goes against your values, it loses its purpose. You won’t become “better.”
Maintaining Balance
Should we be more productive, more successful, more effective? Or should we be at peace with ourselves and our circumstances? The focus of our development should not be on performance, but on learning and value-oriented progress. Constantly striving for better can become exhausting at some point and disrupt the balance of life. At this point, it is important to discover balance and find ways to avoid burnout.
Knowing yourself and developing self-compassion, along with striving for growth, can enable personal development without leading to burnout. Maintaining balance not only allows you to think and progress more healthily but also prevents harm to your psychological well-being. While recognizing the value and meaning of your life, you can strive toward goals that are appropriate for you. This way, peace of mind is preserved, and personal growth continues.
You should not view rest as a weakness but learn to find joy even in small successes. We must remember that true success is not merely about constant progress; it is also about loving oneself and aligning with the rhythm of life.
References
-
Carl Cederström & André Spicer (2015). The Wellness Syndrome. Polity Press.
-
Kristin Neff (2011). Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. HarperCollins.
-
Held, B. S. (2002). The Tyranny of the Positive Attitude in America. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 58(9), 965-991.
-
https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/psychology/self-improvement