In our digital age, romantic relationships, like everything else around us, are rapidly changing. Online dating platforms like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge, which are widely used today, have made partner selection quick, accessible, and effortless. While these platforms, offering endless options at our fingertips, may seem like a good choice at first glance, research shows that online dating is fundamentally changing our perspective on relationships, how we form relationships, and our emotional investment. This transformation is ushering in a new era where relational fatigue and emotional instability are increasing, and we are lost in an endless array of choices.
Digital Love As A Marketplace
Online dating apps are increasingly giving the feeling of a digital relationship marketplace. Natural interactions, personality traits, or behavior are less important than “how a person presents themselves.” Like a digital product, people choose their best photos, write attention-grabbing descriptions, and try to stand out in the app’s algorithm (Finkel et al., 2020). Furthermore, an invisible hierarchy is forming within this algorithm, where some stand out more while others are largely overlooked. This rapid consumption behavior, the habit of comparing profiles like products, and the resulting invisible hierarchy give rise to the concept of the Tinder economy (Bruch & Newman, 2022). Relationships shaped by this economy become less about seeking meaningful connection and more about superficial interaction among an endless array of options. In this sense, online dating increasingly resembles a structured digital marketplace rather than an organic relational space.
The Paradox Of Abundance Of Choice
The abundance of potential partners offered by dating platforms creates the perception that we can always find someone better. While this might seem convenient at first glance, research shows that having so many options actually makes choosing more difficult; relational fatigue increases, and emotional investment in relationships and the satisfaction received in return decrease (Mogilski & Welling, 2023). Swiping through dozens of people in minutes makes it increasingly difficult to decide who or what to invest in. This illusion, which initially seems like freedom, eventually turns into a delusion and a vicious cycle. The paradox of choice becomes central here: what appears as autonomy gradually transforms into cognitive overload and dissatisfaction.
Romantic Burnout
Constant scrolling, comparing dozens of profiles, and endless conversations are giving rise to a new type of fatigue: digital decision fatigue. In this type of fatigue, users’ attention spans shorten, their patience decreases, and their motivation to form emotional bonds within relationships weakens. According to research, the mental burden created by the pressure to make decisions among endless options leads to feelings of burnout and results in more impulsive choices and lower levels of commitment (Iyengar & Lepper, 2000; Robbins, 2023). In addition, negative experiences such as repeated rejections, unanswered messages, ghosting culture, and potential partners suddenly disappearing can create feelings of emotional exhaustion in the long term. People are more comfortable engaging in behaviors online that they would not engage in in real life, and they do not feel much responsibility in return. As a result of all this accumulation, people’s motivation toward relationships decreases; the effort and emotional investment devoted to the relationship also gradually diminish (D’Angelo & Toma, 2021). Over time, this process contributes significantly to romantic burnout and relational disengagement.
The Cycle Of Loneliness
Attachment styles in modern dating apps also influence how people form and maintain relationships. According to research, avoidant attachment styles make people feel more comfortable on online dating apps. This is because it is easier to form relationships on such platforms that require less investment and have no set boundaries (Braithwaite & Schroeder, 2021). The constant possibility of finding a new partner minimizes emotional effort and creates a breeding ground for more superficial, easily abandoned relationships (Balzarini, Muise & Kohut, 2022). The cycle of rapid attachment and rapid detachment is what keeps dating apps afloat. In other words, the cycle of love bombing followed by ghosting is becoming increasingly normalized. Relationships begin quickly and end just as quickly (Summers & Finkel, 2024). All these processes fuel the cycle of loneliness. Online dating is a path people choose to form connections, but the shallowness of these connections, their constant breaking, and the resulting desire to form new ones creates a paradox. People turn to these platforms to fulfill their emotional needs, only to be disappointed. During this process, they struggle with feelings of loneliness, rejection, and worthlessness as a result of this disappointment, falling back into the same cycle. This inevitably leads to loneliness (Bonsaksen et al., 2023; Nowland, Necka & Cacioppo, 2018).
Result
As a result of all these findings, it is possible to say that online dating has completely reshaped romantic relationships. While digital platforms offer us endless possibilities, they can also cause mental and emotional strain.
As a result of various factors, these platforms, which are used to establish emotional connections, can lead to feelings of loneliness and confusion. The accumulated emotional fatigue, mental burden, superficial relationships, and increased options not only make romantic relationships more difficult but also transform them into a more easily consumable and unsatisfying experience.
References
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