Sometimes we put a lot of effort and energy into the things we want. At times, this effort flows toward opportunities that exist somewhere far away but have not reached us; sometimes toward situations we just watch and sometimes toward positions we strongly wish to be in. It keeps flowing… With effort, ambition, desire and dreams; it flows like drops falling from the sky to the earth, dreaming of reaching their loved ones, a lake, a sea, or a small pool of water. The wind may push it from side to side, but it continues to move to fulfill its desire… It falls from the sky as if there is no tomorrow. But how does this effort end? Can it always reach what it desires? Can it always arrive where it has tried so hard to reach? “Let alone reaching it, sometimes it cannot even get close,” says the drop while I write these lines and while you read them: You fell from the sky as a drop, only to take your first breath by hitting the hard rock of the earth! So what happened to all that effort? Where is the result of all that work? Where are my dreams, my desires, my hopes?..
Or rather, where are our dreams, our desires, our hopes… Where is the result of all the effort we put into the things we want, into which we poured our worry and sweat? Life… Despite everything, sometimes we cannot even come close to our dreams; sometimes we are not so different from that drop. No matter how much we do our best, no matter how patient we are in certain processes, the things we fight for may not always come true. Then the coldness of that rock on earth can spread inside us; it can burn us from within with unhappiness, hopelessness, fatigue, unwillingness, a sense of rebellion, and burnout. As it spreads and burns, we hold on to it. There is nothing else left for us to hold on to. The stress during the falling is one thing, and the moment after hitting the hard rock is another… While thinking, “We neither enjoyed it nor reached a result,” a quote by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, who reminded us of the long forgotten concept of “flow,” echoes in our minds:
“Flow is a state in which people are so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter; the experience itself is so enjoyable that people do it even at great cost, for the sheer sake of doing it.”
What Is Flow and Why Was It Forgotten?
Flow is a state in which a person gives themselves mentally and emotionally to the process and to their experiences within that process, instead of holding on to goal focused or result based worries. Flow is a state of awareness where happiness and satisfaction are found in the process itself rather than in the outcome. The intensity of daily life and a goal oriented culture often make us forget this state. Forgetting flow means getting used to a tiring and joyless process under the name of “achieving, reaching goals, obtaining what is desired.” With this forgetting, many people may experience burnout when they fail to reach their goals. As psychologist Herbert Freudenberger explains: “Burnout is a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion caused by long term involvement in emotionally demanding situations.”
How To Stay In Flow?
The way to stay in flow is to focus on the process rather than the result of our experiences. No matter how much effort we put in, no matter how many goals we set, it is about being aware of the “life” factor and letting go of certain result focused ties, such as worry, obsession, and thoughts that may lead us to unhappiness if things do not go as planned, and enjoying the effort we give. It is about removing the condition that our desire must come true in order to feel joy and happiness. Staying in flow means giving priority to self awareness while moving toward the point we want to reach. It means choosing to see ourselves in the present moment rather than focusing only on the result. In other words, instead of holding a light only to reach the result with great effort, we begin to use that light to see ourselves and the process as well. Flow teaches us that it is possible to enjoy not only the outcome but also the process…
Learning To Let Go
As flow speaks and we listen, as we let go and move along our paths, we learn over time. No matter what result life brings, a person learns to enjoy the process. They learn to turn not only toward the result, desire, or effort, but also toward themselves. They learn to prioritize their mental health. Along with all this, they learn to do their best and, when the time comes, to let go.
They can let go because flow has already taught them what truly matters. They can let go because they have experienced how to balance intense desire with the factor of life. They can let go because they have chosen to lose themselves in the present moment rather than in good or bad possibilities. They can let go because they now know how to let go: by surrendering to the process and staying in flow…
References
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, 1990
Herbert Freudenberger, Staff Burn-Out: Job Stress and the Human Condition, 1974