Silent Estrangement in the World Within Our Pockets
The technological revolution has transformed smartphones from mere communication tools into digital extensions of the human mind (Hanaylı & Tozkoparan, 2025). However, this integration has led to the construction of the “phubbing” barrier, defined as individuals immersing themselves in their smartphones and ignoring those in their immediate presence during social interactions. This phenomenon, which has become normalized in daily life, is considered by Yam and İlhan (2020) as more than a simple distraction; it is interpreted as a form of “asylum” sought by the individual, moving from the physical world to the digital realm. In this regard, phubbing represents a profound detachment in social existence rather than a mere technological preference.
A Digital Sanctuary: Escaping to the Ideal Self
When evaluated within the framework of Self-Theory, phubbing is observed to function as a complex defense mechanism. Instead of presenting the “actual self” to the judgmental reality of the physical world, individuals take refuge in a digital environment where control is maintained and a polished “ideal self” can be constructed (Parmaksız, 2020). It has been proposed by Batmaz et al. (2024) that one of the fundamental motivations underlying this digital escape is social appearance anxiety. As the level of concern regarding how one is perceived in a physical setting increases, the screen begins to be utilized as a shield. The cost of this refuge is identified as a deep sense of digital detachment in the counterpart and the erosion of mutual self-esteem.
Phubbing is not manifested with the same motivation in every individual; rather, it is viewed as a reflection of character structure. The analyses conducted by Parmaksız (2021) through the Five-Factor Personality Model clearly demonstrate this distinction. Individuals with high levels of neuroticism are found to be prone to using the phone as an “emotional shield” due to difficulties in managing uncertainty in social settings. Conversely, individuals with dominant traits of conscientiousness and agreeableness are observed to be more resistant to this digital trap, owing to their respect for social norms and the presence of others.
Connected Yet Detached: A Modern Irony
This behavior, which has evolved into a social ritual among university youth (Hanaylı & Tozkoparan, 2025), fosters a modern irony: as individuals appear increasingly connected to the world via screens, they are radically detached from their immediate surroundings. The “silent togetherness” observed in social spaces serves as evidence of how phubbing pushes individuals toward a “social desert” (social isolation) (Parmaksız, 2020). Pursuing notifications even when physically together is considered a silent assault that devalues relationships by eliminating quality interaction.
Returning to Authentic Contact
In conclusion, phubbing is identified as a deep fracture caused by the digitalized world within the social fabric. As indicated by Batmaz et al. (2024), although concealing social anxieties behind screens provides temporary relief, it is observed to deepen loneliness in the long term. For the construction of a healthy self, the primary need is identified not as illusory digital approvals, but as sincere eye contact stripped of masks. The solution is seen not in the rejection of technology, but in regaining the awareness to perceive it as a tool rather than an escape route.
References
Batmaz, H., Çelik, E., Koçak, L., Tufan, B. N., Makas, S., & Yıldırım, M. (2024). Fear of missing out mediated the relationship between social appearance anxiety and phubbing in Turkish adults. Journal of Gambling Issues, 53.
Hanaylı, B., & Tozkoparan, G. (2025). Investigation of phubbing behaviors in university students. Journal of Business in the Digital Age, 8(1), 14–32.
Parmaksız, İ. (2020). Phubbing in communication and relationships. Turkish Journal of Social Research, 24(2), 359–372.
Parmaksız, İ. (2021). The relationships between phubbing and five-factor personality traits. Kastamonu Education Journal, 29(4), 32–42.
Yam, F. C., & İlhan, T. (2020). Holistic technological addiction of the modern age: Phubbing. Current Approaches in Psychiatry, 12(1), 1–15.