In the past, it was thought that the relationship between the baby and the mother was related to the feeling of hunger. However, this idea began to change with Harlow’s (1958) experiment. In the experiment, baby monkeys were placed in a cage with two mother figures, one realistic and covered with cloth, and the other made of wire. It was observed that the baby monkeys spent time with the cloth-covered mother figure regardless of which figure had the feeding bottle. Harlow explained this situation with the idea that tactile comfort creates attachment. He added that babies have an innate need for physical closeness to feel emotionally comfortable. Thus, it was proven that attachment does not arise solely from the feeling of hunger.
We know that children can become attached to more than one person during the first few years of their lives. This attachment figure is usually the mother, although the father is more often a secondary figure. There are also cases where other people who care for them are attachment figures. If the baby has more than one figure to whom he/she is attached, he/she may choose one of these people as his/her primary attachment figure during critical moments such as stressful events or illnesses (Ainsworth, 1979).
According to Bowlby (1969), the bond between mother and baby is based on the need for closeness that is embedded in our genes. People tend to form and maintain lasting bonds with those around them. Natural selection favors those who form bonds. Those who have relatives who will care for and look after them have a better chance of survival.
Attachment in Infancy
Bowlby (1969) observed important connections between children with problems and the events they experienced in their early years. He developed an attachment theory, focusing particularly on the process of separation of babies from their mothers. Ainsworth (1978) conducted the Strange Situation Experiment to test this theory. In this experiment, babies were taken into a room with their mothers, and then the reactions of the babies were observed when the mother left the room and when the mother returned after a while.
The first group protested when their mothers left the room and welcomed them warmly when they returned, thinking that their mothers were quite responsive to the signals they were giving. This group was considered healthy, and the behavior of these infants was described as secure attachment.
The second group thought that their mothers were extremely rejecting, controlling, and aggressive in response to the signals they gave. They felt emotionally distant and isolated from their mothers. They had to suppress their feelings during the time they were separated from them. These babies did not react at all to their mothers leaving the room and returning to it. On the contrary, they began to explore their surroundings comfortably without feeling the need to rely on their mothers. The behavior of this group was classified as avoidant attachment.
The third group thought that their mothers were unpredictable and inconsistent in the signals they gave. These babies easily became stressed and angry when their mothers left the room. They were even observed to cry until their mothers returned to the room. When they did return, they were seen to be quite anxious and restless. The behavior of this group was called anxious attachment.
The fourth group thought that their mothers were both fearful and reassuring in response to the signals they were giving. These infants showed conflicting responses, such as freezing, confusion, and moving back and forth. This group’s behavior was called disorganized attachment (Main & Solomon, 1986).
Attachment in Adulthood
Internal working models are mental representations that individuals develop about themselves and others, based on their early relationship with their attachment figure. Babies who see their attachment figures as responsive and accessible (secure attachment) also see other people as trustworthy and responsible. These babies explore their environment with confidence and bond easily with other people.
On the other hand, babies who do not find these secure attachment characteristics in their attachment figures also have negative perceptions of other people. Three potential situations can occur: They may tend to withdraw from their interactions (avoidant attachment), they may need excessive attention (anxious attachment), and they may exhibit a combination of approach and avoidance behaviors (disorganized attachment). Individuals’ experiences with early attachment figures influence their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in adulthood. This is because people generalize these experiences and perceive the people they encounter in adulthood in a similar way (Sümer & Güngör, 1999).
Characteristics of Attachment Styles
Secure Attachment
- Trusting both themselves and their partner.
- Communicating openly with ease.
- Having satisfaction with their relationships.
- Having high problem-solving skills.
- Expressing their love easily.
- Being ready to show intimacy.
Avoidant Attachment
- Having an extreme need for independence.
- Having difficulty trusting people.
- Keeping distance in relationships.
- Not forming deep romantic relationships.
- Being individualistic and spending more time alone.
- Avoiding taking responsibility.
Anxious Attachment
- Having a high fear of loss.
- Constantly seeking approval.
- Wanting excessive closeness.
- Struggling with feelings of worthlessness.
- Having boundary issues in relationships.
- Having trouble solving problems.
Disorganized Attachment
- An example of a chaotic relationship type.
- A history of trauma is likely.
- Wanting both intimacy and avoidance.
- Having emotional instability.
- Struggling with feelings of emptiness.
- Exhibiting behaviors that sabotage the relationship.
Result
Although attachment styles are formed in our early childhood experiences, they are not fixed and can change in adulthood. With the help of psychotherapy, you may gain awareness, become securely attached, and maintain healthy relationships. Maybe this awareness is the beginning of the change you have needed for a long time.
References
Ainsworth, M. D. S., Blehar, M. C., Waters, E., & Wall, S. (1978). Patterns of attachment: A psychologial study of the strange situation. Lawrence Erlbaum. https://doi.org/10.4324/9780203758045
Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and Loss: Vol. 1. Attachment. New York: Basic Books.
Harlow, H. F. (1958). The nature of love. American Psychologist, 13(12), 673. https://doi.org/10.1037/h0047884
Main, M., & Solomon, J. (1986). Discovery of an insecure-disorganized/disoriented attachment pattern: Procedures, findings, and implications for the classification of behavior. In T. B. Brazelton & M. Yogman (Eds.), Affective Development in Infancy (pp. 95–124). Norwood, NJ: Ablex.
Sümer, N., & Güngör, D. (1999). Adult attachment styles: Psychometric evaluation and cross-cultural comparison in a Turkish sample. Turkish Psychology Journal, 14(43), 71–106. https://open.metu.edu.tr/handle/11511/79158