Imagine a child who cannot say that they are afraid of the dark, yet insists on hearing the same story every night: the story of a little child lost in a forest. The details change slightly each time, but the forest remains dark and the path uncertain. To a listener, it may seem like nothing more than a fairy tale. Yet hidden within that story is an emotion the child cannot put into words. Perhaps this is why the story must be told again and again: because some feelings can only find expression through indirect paths.
The Safe Haven of Symbols: Why Do We Tell Fairy Tales?
There are emotions that cannot be expressed directly. They resist naming and are difficult to share. Instead, they linger within us, appearing at times as distress and at others as an indefinable sense of unease. It is precisely at this point that one of humanity’s oldest forms of expression emerges: storytelling.
Contrary to popular belief, fairy tales are not merely a means of escape; they are often a gentler way of approaching reality. The mind does not always tell the truth as it is, but rather in a form it can bear. Human beings do not communicate solely through words. At times, we express ourselves through images and symbols. A dark forest, a solitary journey, an unexpected encounter—none of these are accidental. Such images often carry traces of universal human experiences. Even when told in different languages and cultures, they tend to touch the same emotional places. The human inner world speaks a far more common language than we often realize.
The Healing Power of Distance
Perhaps this is why people come to understand themselves not only through talking, but also through drawing, writing, playing, and creating stories. Sometimes saying, “I am afraid,” feels overwhelming, whereas speaking about a dark forest is more manageable. The spacious and safe territory opened by art and narrative allows individuals to express themselves without the need for direct self-disclosure. It is often within this space that healing begins. Fairy Tale Therapy works within this symbolic realm, building a psychological bridge through the language of symbols and enabling individuals to observe their own stories from a safe distance.
When a story is told, a person does more than create fiction; they gradually reveal their inner world. This contact with emotions feels safer because confronting certain feelings directly can sometimes be overwhelming. Within the framework of a story, however, emotions gain a degree of distance, and it is precisely this distance that allows a person to remain present with what they feel.
The Journey of Our Own Hero
In many ways, each of us lives what Joseph Campbell (1949) described as the “hero’s journey” within the context of ordinary life. While fairy tale heroes battle giants and dragons, we struggle with our own doubts, grief, fears, and anxieties. It is no coincidence that we feel joy when the hero defeats the dragon; the dragon often symbolizes the difficult emotions we fear confronting within ourselves. Stories remind us that these giants can be overcome and that there is always a path out of the dark forest.
Fairy tales also teach us what might be called active patience. The hero does not reach the destination immediately. They become tired, lose their way, and grow with each challenge they encounter. Healing unfolds in much the same manner. It is not a final destination but rather the willingness to continue telling one’s story.
If you are uncertain about where you are in your life right now, consider asking yourself: “If I were inside a fairy tale at this moment, would I be at the beginning of the quest, in the midst of the great struggle, or on the journey home?” Whatever your answer may be, the fact that the story is not yet over means that transformation is still taking place.
Adults and Their Unfinished Fairy Tales
Contrary to common assumptions, fairy tales do not belong exclusively to children. Adults, too, continuously tell their own stories—often without realizing it. These stories emerge in recurring relationship patterns, in film scenes they cannot stop revisiting, or in the futures they imagine for themselves. Within each of these narratives lies a part of the self waiting to be understood. Human beings are shaped not only by what they experience, but also by the meanings they assign to those experiences.
Fairy tales do not provide ready-made prescriptions for how we should live. Instead, they expand our capacity to remain present with difficult emotions: uncertainty, fear, loneliness, and perhaps most importantly, transformation itself. Nearly every fairy tale contains a process of change—a loss, an encounter, and ultimately a transformation. This transformation is rarely easy, but it is always possible.
Perhaps healing is not about understanding everything on a purely rational level. Rather, it is about remaining within our own story and gradually finding the courage to view it from a different perspective. Each of us carries an unfinished fairy tale within. Sometimes, healing begins with daring to write that story anew.
References
Bettelheim, B. (1976). The Uses of Enchantment: The Meaning and Importance of Fairy Tales. Vintage Books.
Campbell, J. (1949). The Hero with a Thousand Faces. Pantheon Books.
Jung, C. G. (1964). Man and His Symbols. Aldus Books.
Winnicott, D. W. (1971). Playing and Reality. Tavistock.