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How Do Attachment Styles Affect Romantic Relationships?

Attachment is not a phenomenon limited to childhood; rather, it is a dynamic process that continues throughout the lifespan. Over time, the structure and expression of attachment may undergo transformation. The first attachment experience—typically the mother–child relationship—serves as a model for attachment relationships in later developmental stages. In brief, attachment reflects how the relational patterns established with caregivers in early life are carried into romantic relationships in adulthood.

Attachment Theory, originally proposed by Bowlby, was further developed theoretically and empirically through the contributions of Ainsworth and her colleagues. Through the Strange Situation Procedure, Ainsworth examined children’s behaviors during separation from and reunion with their mothers in a laboratory setting. Based on these observations, she classified attachment patterns into three primary categories: secure, anxious-ambivalent, and avoidant attachment.

Subsequent research expanded this classification by introducing disorganized (disoriented) attachment, characterized by unclear behavioral strategies and inconsistencies in anxiety regulation. This pattern has been conceptualized as a distinct subtype of insecure attachment. In addition, Bartholomew and Horowitz proposed a four-category model of attachment—secure, preoccupied, dismissing, and fearful—based on individuals’ internal working models of the self and others.

1. Secure Attachment

Infants who display a secure attachment pattern may experience brief distress when their caregiver leaves the environment; however, they are able to calm down easily upon the caregiver’s return and continue exploring their surroundings.

2. Anxious Attachment

Infants who develop anxious (ambivalent) attachment are thought to experience caregiving responses that are inconsistent and unpredictable. As a result, the caregiver is not perceived as consistently available. These infants tend to exhibit intense distress, tension, and anger during separation, avoid interaction with strangers, and have difficulty calming down upon reunion with the caregiver. Their exploratory behavior is also typically limited.

3. Avoidant Attachment

Infants with an avoidant attachment pattern are often exposed to caregivers who are insensitive to their needs and reject physical closeness. These infants tend to continue exploring the environment without showing overt distress during separation and avoid closeness when the caregiver returns.

4. Disorganized Attachment

Disorganized attachment is characterized by fear, inconsistency, and confusion within the caregiver–child relationship. In this pattern, avoidant and anxious characteristics may coexist. Disorganized attachment is associated with difficulties in emotional regulation and is often linked to neglect, abuse, or traumatic experiences.

How Do Attachment Styles Affect Romantic Relationships?

Individuals with a secure attachment style tend to be more successful in establishing and maintaining emotional closeness in romantic relationships. They are generally able to trust their partners, express their emotions openly, and manage conflicts in constructive ways. Research indicates that secure attachment is positively associated with relationship satisfaction, long-term relationship stability, and perceived mutual support.

Individuals with an anxious attachment style exhibit a strong need for approval and closeness in romantic relationships. They may seek constant reassurance from their partners and display heightened sensitivity to the possibility of abandonment or rejection. This pattern can contribute to increased jealousy, dependency, and emotional fluctuations within the relationship. Anxious attachment is often associated with high relationship investment but lower relationship satisfaction.

Individuals with an avoidant attachment style tend to maintain emotional distance in close relationships. Independence and self-sufficiency are strongly emphasized, leading these individuals to suppress emotional needs or respond distantly to their partners’ bids for closeness. Avoidant attachment is associated with limited emotional sharing, reduced commitment, and a tendency to avoid conflict.

Disorganized attachment can result in inconsistent and unpredictable relational patterns in romantic relationships. Individuals with this attachment style may experience an intense desire for closeness alongside profound fear and distrust. Consequently, relationships may involve cycles of sudden closeness and withdrawal, intense conflict, and difficulties in emotional regulation. Disorganized attachment is frequently associated with past traumatic experiences.

Can Attachment Change?

Although attachment styles are rooted in early childhood experiences, they are not entirely fixed across the lifespan. Secure, consistent, and supportive relationships formed in adulthood can contribute to the restructuring of individuals’ core beliefs about themselves and others. Romantic relationships, in particular, represent a significant context in which attachment patterns may be re-experienced and transformed.

Research suggests that relationships with securely attached partners can gradually render anxious or avoidant attachment tendencies more functional. Similarly, psychotherapy can facilitate awareness of past attachment experiences, help individuals recognize their emotional needs, and support the development of more secure relational patterns. Accordingly, attachment should be conceptualized as a dynamic process with early developmental origins that continues to be shaped by life experiences.

In this respect, attachment styles constitute an important psychosocial factor influencing the quality of romantic relationships. While early experiences form the foundation of attachment patterns, secure and supportive relationships in adulthood may allow for more adaptive changes in attachment. Therefore, the attachment perspective serves as a valuable framework in both clinical practice and relationship-focused psychoeducational interventions.

References

Ainsworth, M., Blehar, M., Waters, E., & Wall, S. (2015). Patterns of attachment: A psychological study of the strange situation. https://doi.org/10.4324/9780203758045

Bartholomew, K., & Horowitz, L. (1991). Attachment styles among young adults: A test of a four-category model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 61(2), 226–244.

Görünmez, M. (2006). Attachment styles and emotional intelligence [Unpublished master’s thesis]. Uludağ University, Institute of Social Sciences.

Ayşe İrem Yeğin
Ayşe İrem Yeğin
Ayşe İrem Yeğin is a clinical psychologist and author with a versatile professional background in psychotherapy, psychological counseling, and academic production. Following her undergraduate education in psychology, she completed her Master’s degree in Clinical Psychology. In order to deepen her professional perspective, she began a second undergraduate degree in Child Development and is currently pursuing a second Master’s degree in Family Counseling. She primarily conducts her professional work in the fields of child and adolescent psychology and parent counseling. In her clinical practice, she effectively utilizes child-centered play therapy, objective and projective assessment tools, and the cognitive behavioral therapy approach. During her tenure at a private hospital, she delivered seminars at various institutions and organizations, sharing both her field experience and professional knowledge. Bringing together her academic background and writing, Ayşe İrem Yeğin produces educational and psychoeducational content aimed at supporting mental health. In her writings, she adopts a perspective centered on strengthening psychological resilience; she emphasizes the individual’s process of self-discovery, the ability to differentiate personal needs, to choose what is beneficial for oneself, and to cultivate a more compassionate relationship with oneself.

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