The Face of ADHD in Adulthood

Whether Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a disease, a disorder, or simply a form of neurodiversity has been debated for a long time. It was recently defined and introduced into the international literature, and in its simplest form, it has been recognized as a disorder in which the brain functions differently.

Despite having read many scientific articles about ADHD during my undergraduate and graduate education, it wasn’t until my master’s studies that I personally recognized a few of its symptoms in myself. When I started medication, the symptoms improved quickly. Feeling relieved, I eventually stopped taking the medication—after all, ADHD was something commonly seen in children, especially boys. I was 27 years old, not a child. These days, I manage it better. But before I get into that, I’d like to tell you about those early days.

ADHD can be broadly defined as a biological condition that arises from differences in the part of the brain known as the prefrontal cortex. This part of the brain is primarily responsible for regulating our planning and decision-making abilities—commonly referred to as executive function. When I was diagnosed with ADHD, the first question that came to my mind was how I had managed to use these skills up to that point in my life. Despite having ADHD, what kinds of decisions had I made and what planning processes had I gone through up until this point in my life? How had I managed to live my life in spite of it?

Upon discovering that secondary disorders like anxiety and depression can accompany my developmental condition, ADHD, I understood that I needed to stop and reflect on these questions. Given that the crucial decisions that shape the second half of our lives are made in the first half, how might ADHD have influenced those decisions early on? While navigating life’s transitional milestones, in what ways can ADHD influence our experiences at these critical junctures?

ADHD and the Critical Decisions of Life

We make choices every moment in every area of life. We are in a constant state of choosing. With each choice, we make a decision—whether small or significant. Our next move is shaped by the decisions we make. Among these decisions, the education we receive, the schools we attend, our career paths, choice of partner, and place of residence are some of the most significant and critical. The impact of these critical decisions on the course of our lives is undeniable.

ADHD, with all its impulsivity, had taken over my decision-making areas. It suddenly dawned on me that I had a choice: either continue being controlled by it, or as an adult, take responsibility for what was happening to me—whether it was an illness, a disorder, or just a form of self-awareness. At that very moment, Nancy McWilliams’s words came to mind: “The only difference between you and your most severe patient is God’s grace.” Among the many graces God has bestowed upon me, He also granted me ADHD, showing His compassion through it. I decided to embrace this compassion by taking on responsibility as an adult. I accepted ADHD as a difference, in the form it took in me, without delving into its causes.

A summary of the critical choices I had made up until that day passed through my mind. As I wrote down my thoughts in brief notes, it became clear to me that I had been skipping key steps in how I made decisions. My mind was like an engine that never stopped—constantly working on the next step. Everything was constantly hard; starting something was hard, working was hard, taking a break was hard, my relationship with my parents was hard, even living was hard… Enduring all these difficulties was exhausting. The constant state of struggle had turned into a form of self-harm.

Most of the information I came across about ADHD focused on childhood experiences. During this flow of information, one sentence caught my attention—it claimed that ADHD diminishes in adulthood. On the contrary, when I assessed myself, I didn’t see any decrease because I was dealing with an undiagnosed ADHD from earlier years. So, what was I going to do in this situation? How was I going to go through the stages of deciding, initiating, sustaining, and completing? Which subjects would be addressed under these categories? Which one should I start with first?

At the same time, something unusual was happening: I excelled at the things I truly enjoyed. There were also times when I felt stuck or frozen. These seemingly contradictory situations gave the impression that I was inconsistent. At times, I was perceived as a selfish person. Becoming aware of this general pattern caused me significant anxiety about how I was perceived socially—a feeling that I was losing grip.

It was at that moment that I realized being able to focus deeply on the things I loved was a blessing. Psychology is the field I love to focus on the most. Choosing this field has been the best decision of my life. As we try to understand ADHD and learn to live with it, being engaged in this field is one of the greatest acts of self-care we can offer ourselves. ADHD can occupy many aspects of our lives, leading us into vastly different life scenarios. Psychological support provides the help we need in every area of life affected by ADHD.

Areas Affected by ADHD and Possible Solutions

If we group the areas affected by ADHD under a few main categories, they might include financial management, relationships, hyperfocus, and emotional hypersensitivity. Before making any choices within these categories—without jumping into planning or decision-making—I suggest starting with a few self-reflective questions. Reflecting on these questions and exploring our own answers through appropriate work can help regulate our impulsive behaviors and their potential consequences, thereby minimizing possible harm.

Below, you will find appropriate questions prepared for your self-assessment practice before your decision-making processes. Whenever needed, I pose these questions to myself to better understand my circumstances with a more settled mind. I sincerely hope these lines offer the same support to their readers as well.

Some Questions for Situation Assessment Before Making Decisions

1. What is the context of the decision I am about to make?

2. What circumstances make this decision necessary?

3. What exactly is the situation? What is happening?

4. What is the question that the situation, the reality, poses to me?

5. What possibilities does my answer to this question create for the decision I’m about to make?

6. What are the steps within these possibilities?

The answers we give to these questions will help reduce the pressure of decision-making. Anxiety, freezing, and difficulties in taking action caused by ADHD can be relatively alleviated.

Conclusion and Future Plan

In the next article, we’ll look into how to move beyond a sense of aimlessness and better understand decision-making processes. Let’s come together with the blessings that our adult responsibilities have granted us.