Sometimes, for no apparent reason, we want to be children again. To go back to being seven years old and wake up, even for just one day, to a carefree life… Along with deep thoughts, we reflect on ourselves—where we are now, where we were supposed to be, and the promises we made to ourselves at that age. In moments like these, we cannot silence our inner dialogue: Did I keep my promise? Or did I fail? Am I where I once dreamed of being? Was this really my dream?
Facing—perhaps even confronting—your childhood self with these questions could become one of the most desired yet most feared experiences of your life. Imagine sitting across from your childhood self and having a conversation. What would happen? Maybe your childhood dream was exactly to be here, and you simply haven’t appreciated yourself enough. Or perhaps you are living a life that contradicts your dreams, and you feel guilty about it.
The Encounter With The Inner Child
Yet in either case, your childhood self would probably be the least judgmental person you could meet. Among all the emotions you fear seeing in their eyes—disappointment, admiration, pride, regret—another feeling might stand out the most: understanding. Even if you cannot predict which emotion you would encounter, I can say that they would understand everything you have done better than anyone else. Because they would know the reasons behind every step you took, whether good or bad.
“Why did I put myself in this situation? Why did I talk to that person? Why did I choose—or not choose—that path?” Only your childhood could answer these questions completely. As the closest observer of your life, knowing every road you have walked and without judging you, it would not blame you—it would support you. In fact, I don’t think it would even speak. It would simply look into your eyes as if to say, “I know.”
“I know you acted according to what you felt. You did the best you could, but sometimes things just don’t work out. I understand—don’t blame yourself.”
The Essence Of Self-Compassion
Self-compassion is responding to oneself with understanding, kindness, and support in moments of failure or inadequacy. And such an attitude can only come from a place that has known every version of us—every stone that touched our feet and every sun that smiled upon our face: our childhood. The stressful events we experienced, the traumas, the joyful moments, and the people we laughed with until we cried—our childhood witnessed them all. Even if it criticizes, it does not judge or condemn.
Yet sometimes we silence that voice and judge ourselves instead. In moments when we forget who we are or feel confused, remembering our childhood and giving it a voice could free us—but listening to our harsh inner critic and taking all the blame often feels easier. We criticize, accuse, judge, and attack ourselves with everything we have. Because when there is someone to blame, it feels easier to fix the mistake.
Finding Balance Through Mindfulness
When we give our childhood a voice, however, we might realize that sometimes the fault lies with those we loved most—or that sometimes there is no fault at all, only timing. And when no one is to blame, we may begin to believe nothing can be fixed. Yet one certain thing we can do is approach ourselves with self-compassion. According to Kristin Neff, this concept consists of three main components: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. Showing ourselves the same compassion we would offer a friend while suffering (self-kindness), recognizing that difficulties are a natural part of being human (common humanity), and being able to acknowledge negative emotions and thoughts in a balanced way without suppressing them (mindfulness) are among the ways to live through the process without seeking someone to blame and instead trusting the journey.
The mistakes we regret deeply point directly to the person we are today. Everything we feel now when we think about those mistakes belongs to the person those mistakes have shaped. Everything we have lived through—and the person we have become—is simply a reminder of the compassion we owe ourselves.