Self-confidence is directly related to an individual’s recognition of their own worth, acceptance of their abilities, and possession of a positive self-concept. Developing during childhood, this feeling shapes our achievements and becomes a key component of our social lives. The foundations of self-confidence are formed through communication patterns within the family. Parents’ explicit expression of confidence in their children and their reactions to children’s mistakes are important for the development of self-confidence. When parents do not focus solely on the outcome of the child’s actions but instead notice the child’s effort throughout the process, the child’s self-concept develops more healthily. This contributes positively to the child’s school life and peer relationships. At the same time, supportive attitudes from teachers in the school environment also play an important role in helping children develop a healthy self-concept. Therefore, self-confidence is closely related not only to the individual themself but also to the quality of the social environment in which they are situated. As a result, self-confidence is strengthened or weakened through the interaction between an individual’s self-perceptions and the social experiences obtained from their surroundings.
Later on, high or low levels of self-confidence become central factors influencing the individual’s social life. Individuals with high self-confidence do not feel worthless in negative situations; instead, they learn from their experiences and turn adversity into opportunity (Covington, 1984). Moreover, self-confidence not only reflects a person’s belief in their own potential but also shapes the way they interact with others.
When Self-Confidence Turns into Narcissism
However, self-confidence does not always lead to positive outcomes. Excessive self-confidence may, in some cases, overlap with narcissistic traits. Narcissism is the belief that one is superior to others, deserves special treatment, and is constantly in search of admiration (Bardenstein, 2009). This may lead to negative consequences such as belittling others, lack of empathy, and selfishness in relationships (Thomaes et al., 2018).
Interestingly, it has been suggested that the roots of narcissism often lie not in a healthy sense of self-love, but rather in a defense mechanism arising from a lack of self-love (Lasch, 1980). The individual does not truly love themselves but seeks excessive admiration and superiority to hide this. This may emerge as a defense mechanism aimed at masking the person’s sense of low self-worth and inner emptiness.
Although individuals with narcissistic traits may appear confident on the outside, their inner world is often characterized by feelings of worthlessness, fear of rejection, and a need for validation. To fill this gap in their self-concept, the individual may engage in behavioral patterns such as seeking excessive praise, wanting to appear constantly successful, or trying to feel superior by devaluing others. Therefore, although narcissistic attitudes may seem to display a strong self-concept on the surface, they are fundamentally attempts to protect fragile self-confidence and conceal a deep need for external approval.
Healthy Narcissism: The Adaptive Middle Ground
Nevertheless, the literature also includes the concept of healthy narcissism. Healthy narcissism refers to a person’s acceptance of their abilities, possession of a positive self-concept, and ability to empathize with others (Lubit, 2002). This allows the individual to be more resilient to criticism and to maintain their self-confidence in a balanced manner.
Individuals with this type of self-concept can develop balanced autonomy in social relationships and effectively use emotional regulation skills when facing failure. These individuals do not show excessive sensitivity to criticism and are willing to receive constructive feedback. Healthy narcissism allows a person to protect their self-confidence without falling into fragility and to base their sense of self-worth on internal resources rather than external approval. Consequently, healthy narcissism is regarded as an adaptive personality trait that enhances self-concept and self-efficacy, while also indicating that the individual considers both themselves and others in social relationships.
How Families and Teachers Influence This Balance
It is important that both families and teachers in school settings accurately distinguish between the development of healthy self-confidence in children and the emergence of narcissistic tendencies. Research shows that when children receive unconditional acceptance, emotional security, and effort-based praise, they construct their self-worth on a more realistic foundation. Such supportive attitudes allow mistakes to be seen as natural components of the learning process, enabling children to become more resilient in the face of academic and social challenges.
In contrast, excessive praise, idealization of achievements disconnected from objective reality, or constant expectations to be “the best” are identified as significant risk factors that may foster narcissistic personality patterns. Therefore, it is important to provide balanced and development-oriented feedback that helps children recognize their strengths while also encouraging them to understand the feelings, needs, and worth of others. This supports the healthy development of both their emotional regulation and social skills.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the relationship between self-confidence and narcissistic traits is a complex balance. For children to exhibit healthy development in both their individual and social relationships, their self-confidence must be supported while narcissistic tendencies are identified and balanced. True self-confidence involves not only knowing one’s own potential but also recognizing the value of others.