I wrote this for everyone who wakes up every day struggling with anxiety. Some get lost in this pool of worry, while others learn how to navigate it. I hope it can offer even a little comfort and help people realize they are not alone.
This month, I was thinking about what to write, and I decided to write about the anxiety I deal with daily. However, after starting, I took a week-long break and realized I wanted to make some changes. I came to the realization that anxiety doesn’t just occur in your twenties—it manifests in different forms at every stage of life. Even though I’m only twenty, I haven’t yet experienced the anxieties of other ages firsthand, but I’ve had the chance to observe many people at different stages of life.
Early Experiences of Anxiety
It all started around the end of my nineteenth year, as I was stepping into my twenties. I felt like I was drifting for nearly a year. Every day, I asked myself: What should I do? Am I in the right major? Will something bad happen? Is my family going to be okay? Should I find a job?… I put way too much pressure on myself!
Whenever I felt like I was stuck in a rut and unable to do anything, I always tried to find a way out, to find direction. Most of the time, I couldn’t. Sometimes, I could distract myself thanks to the people around me. And every time, I tried to get help from ChatGPT : ) as if it could instantly solve my problems and make my anxiety disappear.
When do you think anxiety first begins? If possible, reflect on this for a moment. For me, it starts, to some extent, in preschool—during our first separations from our parents. A child might think: “My mom is leaving me here—what if she doesn’t come back?” But does this last long? No, eventually the child adjusts and trusts that their parent will return.
School and Adolescent Stress
Anxiety also appears, albeit small, during elementary and middle school. It varies depending on the child’s experiences. For instance, when I moved from third to fourth grade, my family decided to change my school, and I transferred from a public to a private school. That was when I faced exclusion and bullying. Sometimes even the food my mom packed for me became a source of teasing (I still remember the bell pepper). When teachers asked questions, called me to stand up, or asked us to give presentations, I often couldn’t speak even if I knew the answer. My heart would race, and I would feel tense. Along with peer bullying, my anxiety began to increase.
By eighth grade, exam stress brought a new wave of anxiety. The sadness of potentially not seeing your friends again added to it. High school brought some relief, but adolescence brought other challenges. Anxiety peaked as university entrance exams approached. That period’s stress was unlike anything else; a nearly year-long intense process could really drag you down.
University and Adult Anxiety
After the exams, university begins. For some, it’s an amazing time; for others, it’s filled with academic struggles. I experienced both. Now that I’m in my final year, I’ve moved away from the fun times and find myself swimming in anxiety. After graduation, a challenging period seems to await me. Every day, I wonder, “What should I do?”—considering master’s programs, necessary training, job search… All of these bring different forms of anxiety.
I’ve shared these examples thinking about myself and the people around me. Everyone’s journey is different.
In your twenties, anxiety accelerates in a new way. You graduate, find a job, and perhaps marriage knocks on your door. New responsibilities bring new anxieties. If you have children, anxiety is no longer only about yourself—it includes their health, safety, and future. As you grow older, caring for aging parents, maintaining your relationship with your partner, keeping up with work and social life—all these responsibilities add layers of anxiety. Gradually, your own physical and mental fatigue also comes into play. Caring for grandchildren, your own aging process, and the awareness of mortality bring new anxieties. During my internship, I observed that many older adults needed psychiatric support or antidepressants to manage their intense anxiety.
Minimization of Anxiety by Others
Have you ever encountered people who minimize your anxiety because of what they’ve experienced? People who say, “I’ve been through worse—what are you upset about?” My anxieties were never only about academic difficulties. Hearing such comments from people who didn’t know what I was going through hurt me deeply. I felt worthless. I thought, “What I feel isn’t important; maybe I shouldn’t even be upset.”
I wanted to touch on this in my writing. If you’ve experienced something similar or hear such comments from others, I encourage you to block them out.
Final Thoughts
I’d like to end with one of my favorite quotes:
“Everyone takes the limits of their own vision for the limits of the world.”
— Arthur Schopenhauer