One morning, a woman stood before the mirror and examined the lines on her face more closely. In those lines lay not only the years gone by, but also the laughter of her children, the memories of sleepless nights, and unfinished dreams. A strange wind stirred within her: “I am forty now…”
This reflective time is sometimes a burden, and sometimes a relief. It is a woman’s call to take stock of her life, for there are certain ages in a person’s life that are not merely numbers, but turning points. Eastern interpretation of religious scripture describes this stage as “the age when the mind reaches maturity.” In Western psychology, it is referred to as the midlife transition or “transformation.” Perhaps this is why the age of forty is a turning point in one’s life journey: one door closes, another opens.
Modern psychology also approaches forty from a similar perspective. In Erik Erikson’s psychosocial development theory, this stage corresponds to the concept of “Generativity versus Stagnation.” At this age, individuals begin to think less about themselves and more about their family, community, and society.
Moving Forward
The question, “What will my legacy be?” can activate the sense of generativity in women who have experienced trauma in their psychosocial development because the search for meaning and the drive for productivity are inseparably linked.
A woman transforms the question “Why me?” into:
➡ “What can I learn from this?”
➡ “How can I create value from this?”
Through this transformation, trauma ceases to be a burden and instead becomes a gateway to renewal.
This process aligns with Erikson’s concept of generativity in psychosocial development and with the literature on post-traumatic growth (PTG). Research indicates that the search for meaning following trauma can lead to increased productivity in individuals (Tedeschi & Calhoun, 2004; Park, 2010).
The Journey Toward Forty
The path to forty is not a single leap. From childhood onwards, small life changes prepare a person for greater transitions. These are the barriers one faces when passing from one phase of life to another.
For a child raised in daycare because both parents must work, the early lack of security may be one such barrier to healthy emotional maturity. Even when raised at home, the absence of a nurturing infancy and preschool period can leave a lasting impact.
Starting school in childhood, identity search in adolescence, and independence in youth all pose significant challenges. In midlife, however, the questions deepen:
“Who am I? Where is my life going? What have I experienced? What is the voice of the woman within me saying?”
Responsibilities Multiply
For a woman who has reached forty, responsibilities multiply:
● The education and future of her children,
● Communication struggles and misunderstandings in marriage,
● The burden of caring for aging parents,
● The search for fulfillment in professional life,
● The constant feeling of: “I have no time for myself.”
Drawing on therapeutic research, Gottman (2015) indicates that the most common issues in midlife marriages are a lack of empathy and poor open communication.
During this period, a woman is both a bridge within the family and an advocate for her own identity. At the same time, a biological transition — hormonal changes, perimenopause, sleep disturbances, and fluctuations in energy levels — directly affect her inner being.
While these physiological changes may appear ordinary, they gradually build psychological resilience.
Academic and Spiritual Findings on Women in Their Forties
Scientific and faith-based research shows that women in their forties undergo significant changes in both identity and spirituality:
(Click) Personality Change in Adulthood, Helson & Stewart (1994) found that after forty, women’s dependence on their inner circle of family and friends decreased while confidence and productivity increased.
(Click) Middle Aging in Women: Patterns of Personality Change from the 30s to the 50s, Stewart, Ostrove & Helson (2001) reported that identity certainty and orientation toward productivity rose, though concerns about aging also increased.
(Click) Eyvah 40’ıma Geldim!, Karaaslan (2021) discusses a qualitative study in Türkiye that found women experienced anxiety when turning forty, feeling regret between past expectations and current reality.
(Click) Seattle Midlife Women’s Health Study (2018) reported on women’s experiences of work–family conflict, perceptions of aging, and processes of self-discovery.
(Click) Özerdoğan et al. (2009) showed that in women aged 40–65, the prevalence of sexual dysfunction was 68.8% and was strongly associated with depression.
(Click) Qur’an – Surah Al-Ahqaf, Verse 15: “When a human reaches maturity and reaches the age of forty, he says: ‘My Lord, inspire me to give thanks for Your blessings upon me and my parents…’”
Together, these findings reveal that becoming forty is not merely a ‘crisis’, but also an opportunity for deep reflection and growth.
Crisis or Opportunity?
For a woman reaching forty, facing the past is inevitable.
Which of my dreams came true?
How did my family contribute—positively or negatively—to the person I am today?
What circumstances has life presented me with?
Who am I, and what have I left behind?
What legacy will I leave for my children, society, and myself?
These questions echo in the mind.
Crisis or Wisdom?
Facing the past is the key to either overcoming depression or unlocking the doorway to wisdom.
When trapped in regret, the forties can turn into a crisis. Yet, when approached with awareness, this stage opens the door to productivity and personal transformation.
The Intersection of Psychology and Faith
Gratitude and the process of individuation meet at the same point.
The state of gratitude offered by faith merges with the individuation process defined by psychology.
Positive psychology identifies gratitude, hope, and self-compassion as the strongest resources for this transformation.
The Threshold of Forty
Forty is like the turning point in a fairy tale.
The hero has reached the middle of the journey: behind lie victories and wounds, ahead awaits a new door of consciousness.
Religious traditions refer to this threshold as “the maturity of mind and soul.” Modern psychology refers to it as midlife transition.
The Message of Forty
You are no longer in the age of consuming time, but in the age of transforming it.
Time is no longer just something that passes, but the most precious gift to be consciously transformed.