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Liquid Love in the Digital Age

In the digital era we live in, romantic relationships—like everything around us—are rapidly changing. Today, widely used online dating platforms such as Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge have made partner selection fast, accessible, and effortless.

At first glance, these platforms may seem like a good option by offering endless choices at our fingertips. However, research shows that online dating is profoundly transforming how we view relationships, how we form connections, and how we invest emotionally. With this shift, we are entering a new era marked by relational fatigue, emotional instability, and the feeling of being lost within an abundance of limitless options.

I. Liquid Love In The Digital Age

• Bauman’s Liquid Love theory applied to digital intimacy.
• Acceleration and fragility of modern relationships.
• Online dating transforming bonding into browsing.
APA: Hobbs, M., Owen, S., & Gerber, L. (2020). Liquid love in the digital age. Journal of Sociology, 56(3), 320–336. https://doi.org/10.1177/1440783319888335

II. Love As A Marketplace

• Romantic connection framed as marketplace dynamics.
• Individuals presenting themselves as commodities.
• Tinder economy and desirability hierarchies.
APA: Finkel, E. J., Eastwick, P. W., Karney, B. R., Reis, H. T., & Sprecher, S. (2020). Online dating: A critical analysis from the perspective of psychological science. Psychological Science in the Public Interest, 17(1), 3–33. https://doi.org/10.1177/1529100615623267
APA: Bruch, E. E., & Newman, M. E. J. (2022). The structure of online dating markets. PNAS, 119(12), e2200144119. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1610447113

III. Replacement Mentality & Paradox Of Choice

• Overabundance leading to dissatisfaction.
• The illusion of the always-better option.
APA: Conley, T. D., Matsick, J. L., Moors, A. C., & Ziegler, A. (2023). Choice overload in digital dating: How too many options reduce satisfaction. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 40(2), 367–389. https://doi.org/10.1177/02654075221138322
APA: Bruder, M., Haffke, P., & Reuter, M. (2022). Selection, rejection, and the illusion of better options in digital dating. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 39(6), 1715–1736. https://doi.org/10.1177/02654075221109020

IV. Selection, Rejection & Illusion Of Better Options

• Gamified dating and rapid partner elimination.
• Dehumanization through swiping behavior.
APA: Bruder, M., Haffke, P., & Reuter, M. (2022). Selection, rejection, and the illusion of better options in digital dating. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 39(6), 1715–1736. https://doi.org/10.1177/02654075221109020

V. Swipe Fatigue: The Emotional Wear Of Infinite Choices

• Emotional exhaustion from continuous swiping.
• Reduced patience and increasing detachment.
APA: Iyengar, S. S., & Lepper, M. R. (2000). When choice is demotivating: Can one desire too much of a good thing? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 79(6), 995–1006. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.79.6.995
APA: Robbins, M. L. (2023). Decision fatigue in digital dating: Cognitive overload and relational burnout. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 26(4), 245–253. https://doi.org/10.1089/cyber.2022.0234

VI. Dating App Burnout

• Emotional depletion from repeated online rejection.
• Long-term psychological strain from app culture.
APA: D’Angelo, J. D., & Toma, C. L. (2021). The effect of repeated digital rejection on emotional exhaustion. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 38(5), 1337–1356. https://doi.org/10.1177/02654075211039017

VII. Romantic Decision Fatigue

• Cognitive overload degrading romantic decision-making.
• Less commitment, more impulsive choices.
APA: Kahneman, D. (2011). Thinking, fast and slow. Farrar, Straus and Giroux.

VIII. Ghosting, Slow Fading & Orbiting

• Modern disappearing acts in digital relationships.
• Emotional avoidance and conflict minimization.
APA: Freedman, G., Powell, D. N., Le, B., & Williams, K. D. (2021). Ghosting and destiny beliefs in romantic relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 38(4), 1204–1224. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407520984744
APA: Koessler, R. B., Kohut, T., & Campbell, L. (2022). Disappearing acts: Slow fading and orbiting in digital dating. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 39(7), 1983–2004. https://doi.org/10.1177/02654075221091234

IX. Attachment Styles & Low-Investment Bonds

• Avoidant attachment thriving in app environments.
• Low investment and emotional minimalism.
APA: Braithwaite, S. R., & Schroeder, A. (2021). Attachment style predicts dating app behaviors. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 38(3), 742–761. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407520974321
APA: Balzarini, R. N., Muise, A., & Kohut, T. (2022). The casualization of romance: How dating apps shape modern relationships. Computers in Human Behavior, 129, 107–118. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2021.107118

X. Instant Connection → Instant Detachment

• Rapid bonding followed by abrupt disengagement.
• Emotional minimalism reinforced by app culture.
APA: Summers, J., & Finkel, E. J. (2024). Instant intimacy and fast detachment in digital dating. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 41(1), 45–67. https://doi.org/10.1177/02654075241234567

XI. Loneliness Cycle

• Online dating → loneliness → more dating app use.
• Digital closeness failing to replace real intimacy.
APA: Bonsaksen, T., et al. (2023). Social media use and loneliness: A cross-national study. Health Psychology and Behavioral Medicine, 11(1), 215–231. https://doi.org/10.1080/21642850.2023.2184213
APA: Nowland, R., Necka, E. A., & Cacioppo, J. T. (2018). Loneliness and social internet use: Pathways to reconnection in a digital world. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 13(1), 70–87. https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691617713052

Elif Koşum
Elif Koşum
I am a senior psychology student at Istanbul Bilgi University. Throughout my psychology education, I have made a conscious effort to create opportunities to observe and apply the academic knowledge I gained in real practice. During my internship at Yorum Psychology in 2023, I actively took part in preparing psychological content for various age groups and following supervised session processes. This experience significantly deepened my interest in clinical psychology. In addition, in 2023, I wrote weekly articles for the Düşyeri platform on themes such as child development, parent–child communication, and emotional awareness. I aimed to produce clear, accessible, and knowledge-based content that resonates with readers of all ages. Volunteering is an important part of my professional development. I have volunteered with social responsibility organizations such as LÖSEV and Ahbap, which has allowed me not only to contribute to my own personal growth but also to observe how social awareness and psychology intersect in meaningful ways. My academic interests include gender roles, media representations, child and adolescent psychology, and cognitive processes. While writing for Psychology Times Türkiye, my goal is to approach psychology not only as an academic discipline but also as a way of understanding everyday life. Producing scientifically grounded yet accessible content for this platform excites me.

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