A Scientific And Humanistic Reflection On Belonging, Identity And Living Between Cultures

Most of us tend to think of the sense of belonging as being tied to a specific place. But what if I say that it is more than that? The sense of belonging can emerge whenever you feel safe, connected, and truly at ease. Belonging is sometimes about a city or a place, sometimes about a person or a group, and sometimes about a song or a moment. Often, we tend to belong where we feel free. In that sense, whatever you feel you belong to is, in fact, the place where you are truly able to be yourself.

But what happens when these senses of belonging begin to intertwine — and even conflict with one another? What if one part of you feels at home in an individualistic, structured society like Germany, often marked by discipline and quiet winters, while another part longs for the warmth of a collectivistic culture, where life unfolds under the sun, as it does in Izmir, Turkey?

In this article I aim to explore how growing up between individualistic and collectivistic cultures shapes one’s cultural identity, and what it means to feel at home when “home” exists in more than one place.

THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN IDENTITY AND THE SENSE OF BELONGING

Identity is what makes us who we are, influenced by our experiences, background, and beliefs. Our nationality, such as being German or Turkish, is one example. The sense of belonging is where we feel we fit in, like certain places, groups or even moments. A foreign student who feels a connection to Izmir is one example. Belonging shapes our thoughts, which in turn influence our emotions and guide our behaviors. These experiences collectively contribute to the formation of our identity.

Similar to a sense of belonging, identity is not fixed; rather, it varies from person to person and from experience to experience, reflecting our own connections to the world. Tajfel and Turner’s (1979) Social Identity Theory also highlights the close relationship between identity and belonging. This theory holds that part of our identities are shaped by the social groups to which we belong, or “in-groups.” We are more likely to feel safe and like we belong when others respect and understand our identity. However, it can be more difficult to feel like we belong if our identity is misinterpreted or rejected. This is referred to as out-group membership and can result in feelings of alienation, exclusion, or internal conflict.

INDIVIDUALISTIC AND COLLECTIVISTIC WORLDS

Individualistic Cultures

• People focus primarily on themselves → independent

• Clear structure and self-discipline

• Success: attributed to personal abilities and effort → “I succeeded because I worked hard.”

• Failure: blamed on external factors or other people

• Example: Germany → Definition of self by own characteristics and achievements
  → Social interactions tend to be more distant, like the quiet of a winter.

Collectivistic Cultures

• Focus is on relationships with others → interdependent

• People define themselves through their connections → “I’m Selin’s daughter”

• Success: often shared with others → “I am successful, because my family supported me”

• Failure: mostly attributed to oneself rather than external factors

• Example: Turkey → people are closely connected, relationships shape identity, and the culture is warm and social, like the sun.

=> Hofstede (1980, as cited in Żemojtel-Piotrowska & Piotrowski, 2023) stated that in individualistic societies people tend to define themselves in terms of “I,” whereas in collectivistic societies people tend to define themselves in terms of “we.”

WHEN BELONGING CONFLICTS

As someone born and raised in Germany but who studied at university in Izmir, I’ve experienced both Germany’s individualism and Turkey’s collectivism. However, this familiarity and combination bring not only advantages but also challenges. Part of me is independent — I enjoy the time spent alone, studying or reading in my room. I’m comfortable saying “no” and keeping clear boundaries. But in Izmir, these habits were sometimes seen as distant.

Yet, there’s another side of me that is interdependent and thrives on spending time with family, friends, and meeting new people. Living in İzmir brought out this warmer, empathetic part of me. The city’s spirit — from friendly shopkeepers to street cats — always felt like a constant invitation to connect.

Now, back in Germany, I miss the spontaneity and warmth of Izmir. Life here is planned and quiet; the lively café culture and the sea are gone. Sometimes, even when I’m busy, I feel something is missing.

It’s hard to decide which culture I belong to, which is my in- and which is my out-group. Nuri (2024) notes that bilingual individuals may be perceived as “different” or “other” by members of either cultural group, which can lead to feelings of exclusion or not being “enough” of either identity.

FINDING HOME IN TWO WORLDS

Baumeister and Leary (1995) called belonging “a fundamental human motivation,” showing how important it is for our emotional and psychological well-being. Both cultures shape who I am, and honestly, I can’t say which one is stronger in me.

I have noticed that when I am angry, I start speaking German, whereas when I feel sad or emotionally moved, I naturally switch to Turkish. I’m both in and out of each group, carrying two cultures and two languages inside me. So maybe it is not about deciding for one but embracing both.

Germany’s discipline and individualism nourish my personality academically and help me maintain clear personal boundaries. Turkey’s relational nature and warm human connections, on the other hand, enrich my personality with vitality and emotional depth.

However, if you ask me where I feel a stronger sense of belonging, my answer would be İzmir specifically. I feel deeply connected to the memories I created there, the environment, the nature, and the way people communicate.

CONCLUSION

In summary, neither our identity nor our sense of belonging can be reduced to a single place. Numerous places, people, moments, and even songs can make us feel connected. These connections shape our experiences, perspectives, and values — and ultimately who we become.

Therefore, we do not have to belong to only one culture we grew up in; we can embrace all the cultures we feel connected to. Because all of them are us: sometimes we are in the group, sometimes we are out of the group. Sometimes we are the winter of an individualistic culture, and sometimes we are the sun of a relational culture.